r/ThreesomeAdvice

Married for 2 years, together for almost 20 yrs.
We have talked about the idea of having a 3some or swap with another couple just for curiosity and fulfillment of a new fantasy.
One day came out the name of a co worker (male) and I noticed she wasn’t saying no but also neither accepting the idea. But I felt she had that curiosity of adding this guy.
We talked at work (wife doesn’t know) but he shows me a video of a partner he had and he is hung and that’s something we both agreed to find for a first time. But since I work with him I don’t want things to be awkward d after. So undecided if to just go with it or find someone or couple that we don’t know.
Also the agreement was to find another couple but of a guy or girl came before that will be ok too.
Honestly I think is harder to find a girl to add as a third. Advice.

M26 here and looking for people in an open relationship or singles to explore the scene together.

Will the husband mind a gay man bj?

My bf never seemed to check out other women in front of me etc. he said it was disrespectful to me. But we had a conversation about 3sum and it’d be interesting we watched porn together for the first time. Whn we talked about 3sum we don’t know who’d join and he mentioned a girl im becoming friends with. He is attractive to her body type. And he said he’d fuck her, but not cheat on me and fuck her. And I said 1-10 he wants to he sad 1 outta 7/8. It was jut a little stomach dropping. And said he had checked her out the previous week, she wore leggings and walked in front of him thinking she did it on purpose.

TL;DR

​My GF and I are non monogamous and are about to have our first threesome. The third person is her female friend. ​Im super excited but don't really know what to expect. Since shes a friend, I want to make sure everyone feels comfortable. ​What should i expect and how should I behave during the act? Any tips on how to balance attention so nobody feels left out or like a third wheel? ​Or if I should balance it out or not? Any information would be helpful. Thank you.

I’m opened to FFM or MFM.
If there’s any open relationships or single women with friends looking for the same desire or fantasy.
How do I find people like that, without coming off to aggressive or too horny about the situation?

Married couple in our 30s exploring the idea of eventually bringing another person into the bedroom together. Still very much in the discussion/fantasy stage and honestly trying to approach this in the healthiest way possible before ever acting on anything.

A few things about us/dynamic:

We are NOT looking to “open” our relationship emotionally.
Our relationship comes first. Always.
We’re very emotionally connected and communicative already.
We’ve been talking through boundaries, insecurities, comfort levels, aftercare, logistics, etc before even considering doing anything.
Transparency is a hard requirement. No secret conversations or side dynamics.
We’d only ever approach this together.

Current thoughts:

We think a solo female dynamic would probably be the easiest/most natural starting point for us if we ever actually explored physically.
We’re less certain about 2m1f dynamics and have been very honest about that with each other.
We’re realizing fantasy and reality are probably VERY different things.
We’re also realizing sometimes the talking itself is part of the fun.

Things we’ve already discussed:

group chats only initially
meeting publicly first if anything ever progressed
emotional boundaries vs sexual boundaries
whether repeat connections make things emotionally messy
attraction balance
privacy/discretion
post-experience emotional processing
how to avoid either partner feeling left out, secondary, pressured, or emotionally disconnected

Honestly we’re posting because:

We’d love advice from couples who approached this in a healthy way
We’d love to hear what mistakes people made early
Curious what red flags to watch for
Curious what boundaries ended up mattering WAY more than expected
Curious if other couples discovered they liked the fantasy more than reality

Not looking to rush anything. Mostly looking for perspectives, discussion, and maybe seeing whether this is something that realistically fits us or is better left as fantasy.

Please be respectful. We’re approaching this thoughtfully and trying to protect what we already have, not replace it.

I (m28) and my gf (f30) of a year have a great sex life and we are growing in our explorations and sexual chemistry.she openly has talked about how she used to watch alot of lesbian porn and has always had interest in women but never explored it.

The hardest part people talk about after the emotional security and connection between the primary couple is finding a “unicorn”. However because of how pro sex women are now days and with our society being more accepting of it in general…i figured that must be an older couple thing? My question is….

How much does youth and being conventionally an attractive couple make a difference? Or is MORE difficult?

Im 25, gf is 24 and lately she has been asking me to have a threesome with one of her coworkers. I know she thinks hes attractive but in a lot of ways hes the total opposite of me. Is this something I should be worried about? Im not totally against the idea but somewhat on the fence. Has anyone had a threesome with another guyband their girl?

We found a unicorn and I am so curious about two things:
- what does she win on this? I mean we are a cute couple but the fact she joins us lol
- are these ‘unicorns’ only into the fucking part or do they actually want to become friends and maybe develope feelings?

We are going on a date with her Soon and I will ask these questions in a smooth way :)

My girlfriend made a new friend (only been 2 weeks)
And they have gotten extremely close to an emotional level
As apparently he makes her feel really safe and she ended up trauma dumping and crying to him
She has been open to me about everything
And i was glad she found a friend after a long time
Then she introduced him to me and i found him interesting
And i became friends with him and she was happy that i was friends with him as well

For context, our last threesome plan failed as it was too slow it was a mff and the other girl didnt pull any moves and was too nervous

And now out of the blue unexpectedly she calls me and randomly mentions that this new guy could be our next threesome partner as he is very communicative and also holds boundaries well

And he is way way much closer to her than i am with him
On top of that they are way too much emotionally close

Now my partner she is quite excited and she has reassured me very well about everything so i have 0 doubt on her

Now thing this was initially suppose to be a friendship i liked him as a friend as well

But like i having a hard time thinking sexually about him it kinda grosses me out to touch him sexually
I Dont find him attractive in any way

And i cant help but feel like he is getting advantage of this and trying to use this opportunity to fuck her

I have always liked the idea of a threesome but like man
Men are men they suck ass
Even tho EVEN THO I GENUINELY DO BELIEVE THIS GUY IS REALLY REALLY NICE

I AM JUST NOT SURE WETHER I WANNA DO IT OR NOT AND SHE IS SO EXCITED AND WANTS IT
(Just because its a threesome its not about the guy) she only choose him because she thought she could trust him
Cuz like we cant fuck someone who is untrustable and may fuck us up

So i am also positive he wont do that but
Like i dont find my self finding him attractive that much and i dont feeling giddy or good if he touches me or kisses me
--------
That was one part
Next second is
I tried to say i dont want any sort of flirting or touching when we are alone with the other person
I mentioned i wont be comfortable
On top of that like they are bestfriends now on top of that they are emotionally close to the point they cried with each other

Now if they are close like that and having sex how does it differentiate from a relationship
Where is the line

Like yes it could be fine if we all three are there at once

But outside of that isnt it weird

I mean that is also ur friend

Even friends with benefits forget all the sex shit never flirt with each-other and keep fucking and being friends in two separate areas

So like where is the line here

To this her reply was, flirting builds tension and the entire resson we are doing this is for tension if he doesnt make me feel anytbing there is no reason to do this

When we were planning to do mff
We didnt communicate much and she was asking herself a lot of questions (she clarified these yesterday) apparently she was constantly thinking " does he think i am a slut does he see me in a negative way should i be feeling these things if another person touches me should i feel butterflies will he think of me as a slut if i feel butterflies if someone else touches me"
And to add to this she said i only feel things if i let myself feel things with YOUR permission otherwise i never feel anything towards anyone else but since i felt like u wont like it if i feel butterflies if someone else touches me ( the other female partner we were suppose to fuck) for that reason i lost interest and dont like her anymore
As there was no more tension

Now how i see it as is
I dont need emotional tension infact i dont wanna feel anything for the other person at all
But just purely just for sex and nothing else
Just a extra hand to make things more fun
Yes i will need to be attracted to them physically but i dont want emotional closeness we could be friends yeah sure
I wish to see the other person come to just serve us
Cuz we aint doin this to make the other one feel good
This is my relationship and we want to feel good
Harsh but a living dildo or pussy or sex toy if you will
If you are too emotionally close it just becomes a open relationship

Now we might make out in the car tomorrow snd she wants to be in the middle and i do want to make her feel good but what bothers me is they are very close friends emotionally (I DONT MIND THAT I AM MORE THAN HAPPY SHE HAS A FRIEND LIKE THAT BUT WHAT BOTTHERS ME IS IF THEY ARE FUCKING AND FLIRTING

LIKE THEY MET UP YESTERDAY AS FRIENDS IN A RESTUARENT IT WAS JUST A NORMAL HANGOUT

BUT IF THEY ARE FLIRTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT HOW ARE THEY JUST FRIENDS

LIKE I AINT THERE

SO WHAT SEPERATES THIS?

ON TOP OF THIS I NEED TO MENTION SHE TOOK 2 YEARS TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH TOUCHING MY DICK AND SUCKING IT .
I confronted her how are you already so sure about direct sex already with the 3 of us
(I never penetrated her even we are still virgin)
Now she did say she wants to loose her virginity to me before the 3 some

She said to me i took time with you because it was for love and safety
But this one this is just sex

(Over the last 2 years she was always mentioned how much she hates dicks and only likes mine because she loves me )

But now she is suddenly okay with HIM penetrating her..

She did reassure me and i do trust her but i just cant help it...

Now we are supoose to meet tomorrow and i dont know..
I mentioned that i wanna meet him as friends thats it
But she said if things flow dont stop it
I feel so much pressure
She did get mad at me for not communicating with her
But i am so scared of dissapointinh her

What do i do?

My (m28) gf (30f) started off as a passionate sex fueled sexting relationship in secret. We knew eachother at work years ago but never talked and she was escaping a very abusive relationship with her ex. She literally had to stay with him for months after the breakup bec he had destroyed her credit took all of her money etc

I guess she was expressing very pinned up sexual needs and despite her shy and sweet demeanor (and her hesitations of me giving off player vibes) she was very sexual with me and even expressed her sexual attraction towards women and was super horny. We even tslked about threesomes EARLY. I have always wanted to explore having a gf who was into that or even a fwb… and i was super excited lol.

As we got more serious. Conversations…dates etc. she has expressed to me that she would have had no problem us doing that or if we werent in a relationship BUT now she is nervous i might become attached or involved with the other girls.

I find it kind of weird and disappointing that as a guy who is not in a relationship with her and has less invested etc…i could have access to a wild and uninhibited version of my gf…but as her boyfriend shes less into it?

Is it doomed? Or a matter of me ensuring her emotional security(i really emotionally have zero interest in knowing or bonding with anyone else)

We (m25/f25) just had a good night flirting with this girl. We both kissed her and are planning a date.

Ever since this i am so stressed and have problems getting a hard on.
My Dick feels disconnected from my mind.
I am so Horny…

We are planning the date for in two weeks.
Should i get boner pills and Try out a low dosis for the threesome?
Should I get into stuff like ashwaganda??

Please someone help me lol.
I never had this problem before and When I am alone I get a hard on…

My girlfriend (f19) wants a threesome with myself (f26) and our friend (f32). This friend is attracted to the both of us, and also wants this to happen. I’m on the fence as I get jealous easily. I’ve told my partner that I would not be okay if the two of them did anything without me during the act and that I would have to be an active participant. I’ve been cheated on many times by exes and bringing this in is making me jealous and brings around fears of inadequacy that my lovely partner always squashes for me, but it’s still there. The idea of having a threesome with my girlfriend is really hot, our friend is also extremely attractive to me as well, I just don’t know what exactly I’m feeling and whether I should go along with it or not.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Looking to hear from couples that were looking for a third(m). We are looking at giving feeld a go, do couples get attraction on there and does most of it go nowhere with fellas looking to ride your wife.

Just wondering is it worth it?

Any information or experience welcome, would like to hear from genuine couples.

I am a Guy 25 yo and have a gf 25yo.
We are always into flirting with girls. Last weekend we met this girl and kissed her both.

We are going to plan a date with the three of us.
But ever since I have done this i feel a bit of a block in my stomach.

I cant get hard with my gf. It may be guilt to her or being scared for the threesome. But i think it is something Else.

When we have seks I have fantasized for about 3 years. Thinking about other girls, or guys being with my gf. Weird kinks…

We tried Chastity and When she cages me I get so into her. So I know this is something I have fckdp because of my kinks have.

When I think of the threesome with the girl I dont get hard…
When I Try to fantasize like before I get hard…

I am so into my gf and I really like the girl we are going on a date with.
How do i get this kink shit out of my head?!
A threesome was my life goal…
And Now I dont even get hard by the thought of it…

I (39F) have somehow stumbled my way into a MFF where we are all singles (mutual fuck buddy). Hosting parties is one of my favorite things, but I’m feeling a little out of my depth here.
What are some of the non sex related things you wish you’d thought of before your first threesome? Too much food? Unexpected latex allergy and no Skyns? What are the unsexy details that make the sex that much more fun?

Just curious about what kind of hotel others would do for threesomes? Like a motel 6 or actually pay for a suite.

Hey all,
We’re looking at attending the Ice Breaker Party, we’ve only been to the 80’s and 90’s Dance Party’s. Those events were very busy, the music and dance floor was fantastic!

Just wondering what people think of this event, compared to the other events.

Thanks all, have a lovely day! 🥰

In high school/college it was so easy but I’m 35+ and am looking for a third for my husband and I. We have no friends that would remotely be interested in our shenanigans, but I don’t know how to go about this anymore. I’m not opposed to it being a regular thing at all, i want her to know that she’d be taken care of and not used as a prop or be made to feel like a third. Helpppp me….