First Hotwife Threesome in less than 12 hours - and I kinda get it now.
We met this Gentleman for drinks back in December, and just haven't had aligning calendars since (also has very few opportunities on our end). My gorgeous wife also hasn't wanted to play with anyone else, until she's played with this Gentleman - like he became a priority in our hotwife dynamic - so she's very excited.
I like the idea of sitting back and watching, maybe guiding in terms of her likes etc, especially for the first time, to let them explore their own dynamic and see where that falls.
A few days ago, we were watching some porn on our weekly porn night, and my wonderful wife started leaning heavily towards threesome porn and especially a more 'romantic' threesome vid. This is now what she wants for today's experience.
And it's amazing, it's the most excited and least nervous she's been in the lead up to a play date - but it seems that I have now taken on that anxiety. She has said in the past that her fucking someone new and/or me watching makes her feel like she has to 'perform'. From both the 'actor/audience' context and some pretense of a hotwife being overtly sexual and good in bed-type context. That 'performance anxiety' has been one of the bigger barriers for her, and I've constantly downplayed it.
Here's the thing: I know kinda get it. She's got these wonderful ideas about this amazing threesome, and I'm sure it'll be amazing, but now I need to 'perform'. And I get it, I always need to be doing my best to pleasure my gorgeous wife regardless, but now, in my head, I need to perform to what I assume her expectations are of this threesome. She has said the one thing she really wants to experience is my licking her clit while he fucks her. That's a fantasy of mine. Super exciting. Adds to the excitement of it all. I'm concerned that I'll orgasm too quickly.
But in reality, that's not a huge drama. If I orgasm 'too quickly', it gives them a little more one on one type action (not that I need to exclude myself, I've still got tongue and fingers!), and I've got a superquick recovery time - if it's as exciting as I anticipate, I might not even lose my erection. And the second time 'round, I'll last much longer and won't really need to even think about controlling my orgasm.
So, there's not really any significant downside to orgasming early.... but I can't help but feel a 'performance' anxiety, so I now kinda get where she's been coming from with those comments in the past.
And, yes, I will share these feelings with her in the coming hours. Sometimes writing it out here first helps clarify what I'm thinking.