u/Only_Huckleberry_957

I am struggling a bit with my long distance dynamic right now. I love my Daddy, he is a wonderful Dom and he makes me feel so loved and cared for despite the distance. He makes a lot of time for me which I truly appreciate. Overall I love our dynamic!

But it’s still hard. We text and FaceTime every day which helps us stay close. And as much as I love it, I find it draining too. With LDRs, you can’t just spend passive time together, you always have to be “on” when you’re interacting. Sometimes after a long day I don’t feel like talking for hours and just wish we could snuggle up on the couch together.

I also feel like I’m spreading myself so thin and always missing out on something, no matter what I do. When I stay in town to spend time with friends, I’m missing out on time with my Daddy. When I go visit him, I miss out on time with friends/family and local events.

He also can’t visit me almost ever because he has kids and a weird work schedule. So I’m the one doing most of the travelling and missing out on time at home, and leaving the really nice life I’ve made for myself. He does have to drive two hours to pick me up and drop me off part way so it’s not like he’s not putting in any effort but I’m still away from home a lot more than he is.

I have very few complaints about my Daddy and our dynamic, but the distance just sucks. How do you manage? How do you balance everything?

For me it’s water sports…before I met my Dom the thought really grossed me out, but with him I can’t get enough!

I feel like this subreddit is so overwhelmingly negative sometimes. I’m glad that subs, especially young and experienced ones, have this space to reach out for advice and support when they’re in unsafe or unhealthy situations. But sometimes it feels like the majority of posts are subs going through horrible mistreatment and abuse.

I would love to hear some happy and positive stories about your Doms and your dynamics! Please!

My Dom and I have been together for 8 months. I am self-collared and wear my collar daily. He asked about it when we first met and I told him I’m self-collared and not owned and we haven’t discussed it since.

Since then he has become my Daddy and my Owner, but still didn’t bring up collaring. The other night he put me into a specific position during a scene and he said “when you’re ready to be collared, you’ll be in this position.”

I was caught off guard and have really mixed feelings. I didn’t think collaring was even an option. But now I know it is, which is nice, but I also know that he thinks I’m not ready.

I just feel like I’m failing as a sub and I don’t know what I need to do for him to want to collar me. There are a few things I do know he wants that I’m not prepared to give him, so now I’m scared he might never want to collar me.

I know I need to talk to him but I am just not ready for that conversation yet. He is such an amazing Daddy and I hate that I’m not meeting his standards.

Do any other vagina-havers have an issue with getting too wet?

My Daddy turns me on so much that I’m soaking wet around him pretty much all the time. I’m usually wet before we even play or have sex and once we start I get even wetter.

My Daddy loves it and he’s never complained but the problem is that I get so wet there’s no friction and neither of us can feel anything. We take breaks for me to “dry out” or I go to the bathroom to clean up the excess lubrication but within a few minutes I’m soaked again.

With other partners I’d dry up eventually even if I was turned on but with my Daddy it never happens. We fucked for 2 hours this morning and I was super wet the whole time. It was still amazing but he couldn’t finish inside me :(

Does anyone have any advice?

Last year I was in a D/s relationship with an older man for 8 months or so. He was really great in a lot of ways, and our relationship was very fun and enjoyable for the first several months.

Unfortunately he had a serious drinking problem that he hid from me. He was the kind of alcoholic that needs a baseline level of booze just to function normally. When I’d come over after work and he’d have a few drinks, I wouldn’t think anything of it, not realizing that he had already drank a significant amount before I got there.

Sometimes he’d get too drunk before playing and not hear or respect my safe word. Sometimes he’d say cruel things about my body while drunk. Other times he’d impulsively dump me, then text me the next morning like nothing had happened, forgetting that he had dumped me the night before. Eventually it got to be too much and I ended things.

I just found out that he drunkenly crashed his motorcycle and died. I reached out to his partner and he told me that he also had cirrhosis, which is a miserable disease that I had no idea he was dealing with.

I feel so weird and sad. I cared about him a lot, but he also harmed me several times, physically and mentally. I know a lot of his negative behaviour was caused by alcoholism, even though it’s not an excuse. I don’t really know what to do with these feelings. I can’t reach out to my current Dom—emotional support for issues with other Doms is a hard limit for him.

I know this situation is pretty unique, but has anyone been through anything like this?

My Daddy has been going through a really difficult time personally and professionally. I know he’s trying his best but he’s been distant and doesn’t have nearly as much time or energy for me lately. He still makes sure to check on me daily which I really appreciate.

I’m trying to be understanding and patient, but I’m so scared that he’s going to end things with me soon. I am trying to not ask for too much from him and to not add any additional stress to his plate. But that also means I can’t really ask for reassurance. I am trying to be strong and to support him however I can but I’m feeling anxious and lost about what to do.

He keeps telling me that he’s worried that he’s making me feel sad, and that he feels so bad that he can’t give me the care and attention I deserve. I want to ride this out with him, but I feel like he might be laying the groundwork to end things with me because he doesn’t have the capacity to be my Daddy anymore.

I really hope that’s not what’s happening, but I feel like times of serious financial/professional stress really commonly cause men to break up with their partners. We have had a few check-ins and he says everything is fine with us, but again he says that he’s worried he isn’t giving me the treatment I deserve.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for from posting this. Maybe just some support, advice, or similar stories that ended up working out? Thank you!

My Dom and I have both been going through some stressful stuff lately and I don’t like how it’s affecting our dynamic. Everything is still great when we are together, but we are long distance and sometimes go up to a month without seeing each other.

Usually we text and video chat a lot in the time between visits, and also play over video and do other things that make me feel submissive and connected to him. But lately we haven’t been doing anything like that. We still talk every day but our texts and calls are getting shorter and less frequent, and or libidos have both tanked so we haven’t been playing or having video sex.

I love him so much and he’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of in a Dom. But I also feel our connection waning a bit and I’m losing the desire to invest as much time and energy into our dynamic. He isn’t able to travel to see me for the next while, and the thought of spending my limited free time travelling to him is becoming less appealing. I hate feeling this way because I used to visit him as much as possible and always had that to look forward to.

Our dynamic started off really quick and intense so I know it’s natural for things to ebb and flow. But I’m used to feeling so connected to and owned by him, I was practically addicted to him, and the spark has been gone for a while because we are both stressed and preoccupied.

What can I do to stay connected to my Dom and our dynamic while we get through this?

My Daddy is going through a serious crisis right now and I don’t know what to do or how to support him within the context of our dynamic.

I’m his babygirl, but I’m a “strong woman” in my vanilla life. I also happen to have expertise in the area of the issues he’s having right now. I don’t want to say exactly what it is, but imagine it’s something like he got charged with a crime and I am a criminal defense lawyer. (To be super clear he didn’t get charged with a crime or do anything wrong).

While he’s going through this difficult time, I know that our dynamic is something that he turns to for comfort. I know he loves feeling like the caretaker who is in control of everything, and he likes thinking of me as his sweet, helpless little girl. I don’t want to take that away from him, but I also love him so much and want to be there for him. He is receptive to my advice but I can also feel how uncomfortable it makes him to let me help him in that way.

How can I support and help him without jeopardizing our dynamic?

My Dom has mentioned a few times recently that he would like for another female sub to join us sometime. I told him I’m not ready yet and he has been respectful and understanding.

The thing is, I’m experienced with threesomes and group sex and genuinely love that sort of thing. But I’ve only ever been the unicorn, or I’ve done it with casual FWBs or strangers. I’ve never had a threesome or done any group play or sex with someone I have deep feelings for.

I really love my Dom and am very attached to him. Our kinky playtime and sex is absolutely amazing. He is the best Dom and lover I’ve ever had, and our connection is so special to me. I know I’m special to him too, but the thought of seeing him treat another sub the way he treats me makes me feel sick to my stomach. Normally I love to share but I hate the thought of sharing him.

I usually feel so secure with him and secure in myself but this is one thing that makes me fall apart just to think about it. But it’s also something I’ve really enjoyed in the past with other people and I really want to fulfill this desire for my Dom too.

Does anyone have any advice?