u/OrganicLeave9822

I've had an on and off relationship with Tina since 15 years old. Usually its just whenever its in front of me, ive only said no a few times. Since a teen though, I've had multiple opportunities to go on some crazy binges where its become a part of my life for very short lived periods.

This past year I've relapsed more times than I can count, but never had a pipe and stash of my own until very recently. The first time I copped I got hooked up crazy fat and ended up flushing 5g because of the paranoia of having it at this halfway house lmao.

Copped a couple times since then and generally go all out on the weekends that I can avoid my roommates but, lately thats mostly comprised of spending my entire Fridays spun out and since I cant get it up, I just get into roleplay subreddits for literal days on end or watch porn when I can get it up.

Spent 48 hours up last weekend and still insanely tired all the time and haven't fully recovered sleep wise. Literally had a dream about being able to sleep uninterrupted while on my break at work today. Weird.

Anyways, I still have a fat bowl and then possible repose left in the stash that im not gonna flush, this week is dragging ass waiting to be able to finish it off this weekend and then try to spend the rest of this year getting my shit together and staying sober from this and mainly alcohol (huge reason for relapsing over and over to begin with). Just wanted to vent, I guess.

Pretty clear between my living situation, health, the job I work, and the paranoia that Tina and me obviously ain't gonna work out at this point. Not saying ill never ever smoke again, but I cant do this shit. Its too much work to try and balance my life with this substance and im getting tired of all of it. Vent over, you guys are funny as fuck and (mostly) genuine and kind folk. Rant over, sorry for yapping.