Form an orderly queue, please. This hunk of Reddit man is going to be a hot commodity tonight. Tall and no gross comments? What a unicorn!
If that’s not enough to convince you that I’m super awesome, then how about this: I know how to spell, my grammar is on point, and I’ve got a mortgage. Try to control yourself, ladies. I know it’s hard. And I know a thing or two about being hard. Ha ha ha.
Okay it’s time to be serious, I guess. I’m married (and it’s going super well, thanks for asking), I don’t have kids, and I’m not new to this.
And if you want a ticket for this ride, please be attractive, funny, smart, and don’t take this too seriously. Life’s tough as it is, we don’t need to bring it into our online tomfoolery.
Alright, that’s enough. My DMs are open. Come on in.