I'm married and looking for more. You are married and looking for more. If you want to proceed go to page 7, if you aren't interested close the book.
(7)- [Disclaimer] I'm really not a fan of using descriptors like "pocket girlfriend" or any type of social designator for that matter, but it happened to work for title purposes. Hopefully we can let that wee transgression slide for the time being.
I'm not the usual OA patron. I come and go as I please, I browse more than I reach out or post, I am picky about who I reach out to, I write my posts so they have their own voice, I am am far from common. Those are easy things to say to get your attention, kinda like fluffing up a resume to get a call back... but that isn't my jam. If you're going to get me it will be the genuine article, I won't put on a pretense to appeal to you.
I'm slightly complicated, I will match your wit and sarcasm in what I like to call "wit riffing", I have a lot of time during the day to chat (ideal if you happen to WFH), I am a night owl, I can't promise good availability when I am at work (I work mid-afternoon into the night), I have a lot of stories to share and love a good story in return (awkward stories are the best), I don't look my age, I catch second glances, I am not the common mid-40's type, I'm tall enough to provide you some shade on a sunny day, I keep myself in good shape but I also enjoy good food, so don't be expecting cut and chiseled.
If you can match what I just described (minus the whole being a guy thing) I think we are off to a very good start. I know opposites attract, but there needs to be enough in common to work with. If you are looking for the types who are all about optimized LinkedIn profiles and keep spreadsheets of football stats to play pretend GM.... you're gonna be disappointed. If you are looking for low key with a heavy dose of sarcastic social commentary with a strong flirting game (with added entendre and puns) and a comforting presence... look no further.
Please be around the ages of 35-50 (there is some wiggle room), not in the CST or EST (zero wiggle room here), and not so shy that trying to converse is like pulling teeth.
*The End*