u/Particular-Item6430

stop trying to be the woman everyone expects you to be

you dont have to look put together for me

you dont have to smile when youre tired

you dont have to make your voice softer

or hide the things that make you insecure

i dont want the version of you that you carefully hand to people

the one youve edited over the years

the one that knows exactly when to laugh

what to say

how to sit

how to look

i want the moment you forget about all of that

when you stop checking how youre being seen

when you laugh too loud

when you get quiet for no reason

when you say what you actually think...

when you stop trying to make yourself easy to understand

thats you

and thats the woman i want to see

not polished

not perfect

not performing

just you..

raw enough to stop hiding

soft enough to stop pretending you dont need anything

and honest enough to admit when you want to be wanted

so let them have the version of you thats easy to understand

i want the one they dont get to see

the one you keep for yourself

the one you thought you had to hide

because thats the woman i could spend hours getting to know

not because shes perfect

because shes real

and maybe for once...

you can stop wondering how you look through someone elses eyes

and just let me look at you

you keep pointing out the things you dont like about yourself

that little line here

that mark there

the way your body changed

the way you dont look like you used to

and i just keep thinking...

how are you not seeing it?

because when i look at you

i dont see something that needs fixing

i see a woman i cant stop looking at

i notice the way you move

the way you smile when you forget youre being watched

the little things you do without thinking

and maybe other people dont notice

maybe theyre too busy looking for something perfect

thats fine

let them miss it

i dont

i see the things they walk past

the parts of you that you think make you less beautiful...

those are some of the things i find hardest to look away from

you dont need to become someone else for me to want you

i already do

maybe more than i should

and thats the thing about you

you keep trying to hide the parts i keep wanting to see

not another compliment

not someone telling you that youre pretty

something quieter than that

the feeling of being wanted before you even ask for it

someone remembering the way you take your coffee

someone noticing when your voice sounds a little different

someone looking at you across the room...

and making you wonder what theyre thinking

you miss having that effect on someone

dont you?

that little pull in your chest when you know someones attention keeps finding its way back to you

you miss being the woman someone looks forward to

the one they think about when the room gets quiet

the one they want a little closer...

even when theyre trying to behave

and maybe youve gotten so used to going without it...

that youve started calling the craving unrealistic

it isnt

youre allowed to want to be pursued

to be admired

to be someone's favorite distraction

to feel that slow warmth of knowing...

someone is thinking about you right now

and smiling because they are

not just being told youre beautiful

not just someone saying they love you

i mean that feeling...

when you can tell someone genuinely wants your attention

when their eyes stay on you a little longer

when they remember something you said weeks ago

when you walk into a room and somehow...

their whole expression changes

you miss that

the feeling of being looked for

being thought about

being the person someone secretly hopes will show up

and maybe youve gotten good at pretending you dont care anymore

maybe its easier that way

because wanting to be craved means admitting you still want something

you still want that little rush

that feeling in your chest when someone makes it obvious...

theyre drawn to you

not because you asked them to be

not because you had to earn it

just because youre you

and i think thats the part youve really been missing

not attention

devotion

that quiet certainty that somewhere in someones mind...

you are the woman they cant stop thinking about

i dont think you understand...

you dont have a body i would want to change

you have a body i would want to remember

every little imperfection you try to hide...

every mark

every scar

every stretchmark you think ruins the picture

you call them flaws

i call them history

little pieces of the woman youve become

and somehow...

thats what makes you beautiful to me

i dont want some untouched version of you

i want the real one

the one life has written all over

the softness

the lines

the places you cover when you think someone is looking too closely

dont hide them from me

let me look

let me admire them

because if your body is a canvas...

then every mark is part of the art

and i dont think id ever get tired of looking at it

you spent so long learning to criticize yourself...

i think its time someone looked at you with something closer to devotion

not because youre perfect

but because youre perfectly you

and if thats a sin...

then maybe youre the only religion id happily believe in

you spent so many years being good...

​being responsible.

​being reasonable.

​thinking about everyone before yourself.

​and look at you now...

​still pretending that little spark isnt there.

​come here.

​you dont have to be the sensible woman tonight.

​you dont have to explain why something feels tempting.

​sometimes you can want something simply because it makes your heart beat a little faster.

​sometimes you can look at someone a little too long.

​smile when you shouldnt.

​stay when you probably should leave.

​maybe thats the part of you youve been missing.

​not youth.

​not some version of yourself from twenty years ago.

​just the freedom to be a little reckless again.

​and if wanting to be desired feels like a sin...

​then maybe you deserve to enjoy being sinful for once.

​not because youve lost your innocence.

​because youve finally stopped pretending you dont have desires of your own.

you see the way i look at people...

you know im not exactly the kind of person they should trust.

i keep my distance.

i dont explain myself.

i dont let people get close enough to learn what im thinking.

there are parts of me that are better left untouched.

but then theres you.

and somehow...

all that darkness gets quiet when you walk into the room.

i dont know what you did to me.

i just know that with everyone else...

i can be cold.

with you...

i want to be gentle.

i want to listen to you ramble.

i want to remember the little things you mention once and forget you ever told me.

i want to look at you like youre the one place i dont have to be dangerous.

so dont mistake my softness for weakness.

youre just the exception.

and maybe thats the most dangerous thing about you...

you made someone like me want to be good to you.

you do that thing where you look at me
then look away too fast

like your eyes already know something
your mouth is still trying to deny

i see the way your fingers tighten
just slightly
when i get close

you tell yourself this is bad for you
that you should stop before it goes further
that good girls dont want what youre already wanting

but your breath still catches
every time i stay quiet long enough for you to feel it

maybe somewhere along the way
you learned that wanting something this much
meant you were already in trouble

so you keep trying to talk yourself out of it
calling it a mistake
calling it temporary
calling it anything but what it is

come here

you dont have to keep fighting it with me
i already see the way your shoulders drop
the second you stop pretending

if it burns this good
why would you ever want to put it out

i think youve convinced yourself...

this is just how life is now.

wake up.

go to work.

come home.

eat something.

watch something.

go to bed.

repeat.

and somewhere in between...

you stopped expecting anything to happen to you.

you stopped wondering if somebody might look at you...

and completely lose their train of thought.

look at me.

i dont think your best years are behind you.

i think youve just been surrounded by people...

who stopped looking.

theres still a woman in you...

who wants to laugh so hard she forgets to be embarrassed.

who wants somebody to reach for her hand...

without thinking twice.

who wants to feel her heart race...

for absolutely no good reason.

she never left.

she just got quiet.

come here.

i know youve been calling it "being realistic."

i dont think it is.

i think its grief.

grief for a version of yourself...

you thought you had to bury.

but shes still here.

i can see her.

she peeks out every time someone makes you laugh harder than you expected.

every time you catch yourself dancing while nobody's watching.

every time your eyes light up...

before you remember youre supposed to act your age.

dont.

please dont.

i dont want the woman who learned how to disappear inside routine.

i want the one who still has a little recklessness left in her.

the one who still believes...

maybe...

just maybe...

someone could look at her...

like shes the beginning of the story.

not the ending.

you say "its okay."

way too fast.

before anybody even has the chance to apologize.

before they explain.

before they notice they hurt you.

you smile.

tell them not to worry about it.

and somehow...

you always end up comforting the person who made you cry.

come here.

look at me.

who taught you that?

who made you believe your feelings were too heavy for somebody else to hold?

i dont think you hide your tears because your strong.

i think you hide them because your scared someone will decide theyre too much.

look at me.

they arent.

you dont have to shrink every emotion just to make other people comfortable.

you dont have to swallow every disappointment.

or every lonely night.

or every "i wish you would've noticed."

come here.

closer.

there you are.

you know what i keep thinking?

i dont think your difficult.

i think youve just spent so long trying not to inconvenience anybody...

that youve become invisible to yourself.

and i hate that.

because the woman sitting in front of me...

the one who keeps apologizing for existing on her bad days...

is the exact woman id want beside me.

not after she fixes herself.

not after she learns how to ask for less.

now.

exactly like this.

you dont have to say "its okay."

not with me.

because im still here.

and im not going anywhere.

look at me.

not for a second.

a little longer.

long enough to stop wondering if theres something wrong with you.

i know what you do.

the second someone gets close...

you start pulling away.

not because you dont want them.

because your already waiting for them to leave.

so you leave first.

or you become quieter.

or you convince yourself you never cared that much anyway.

come here.

i wish you could see yourself the way i see you.

you keep apologizing for taking up space.

for talking too much.

for talking too little.

for needing reassurance.

for needing rest.

for existing on the days you dont feel like the easiest person to love.

and somehow...

you still think thats the version of you i want.

it isnt.

i want the woman who forgets to hide.

the one who laughs before she remembers to be embarrassed.

the one whose eyes wander when shes thinking.

the one who gets excited over little things and then apologizes for it.

dont.

please dont.

those are the parts id stay for.

those are the parts id miss.

you keep trying to hand people the polished version of yourself.

but im still looking for the one underneath.

the one who thinks shes too much.

too quiet.

too emotional.

too difficult.

look at me.

ive never wanted the perfect version.

ive been hoping to meet the real one all along.