Looking for Some Advice!
Hello! I am looking for some advice.
My husband and I have been doing 24/7 chastity for well over a year. However we have fairly regularly been running into a bit of a mismatch in how we each relate to it, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others who’ve navigated something similar.
One of us is much more into the fetish side of things (the psychological aspect, power dynamics, longer lockups, etc). The other is more on the vanilla side and enjoys some elements, but doesn’t feel the same level of excitement or desire to push it as far or as often.
We both care a lot and want this to be something that strengthens our relationship, but we seem to constantly be going in circles which creates pressure/resentment. So the question is how do you find a sustainable middle ground? More specifically:
How do you balance different levels of desire or enthusiasm for chastity?
Have you found ways to “dial it up or down” depending on mood or context?
What kinds of compromises actually worked long-term (not just short-term)?
How do you keep the dynamic feeling fun and consensual for both partners, instead of one person feeling like they’re always accommodating the other?
We’re especially interested in hearing from couples where one partner started out more vanilla but either grew into it or found a comfortable boundary that still satisfied both people.
Any advice, experiences, or even things that didn’t work would be really appreciated.