Losing control
Weird post I'm sure but I'm a sub, I don't currently have a Dom, and right now I feel completely out of control.
I try really hard to remain in control of my life, but it seems like the harder I try, the less control I actually have. I'm angry, overwhelmed, and hurting, and I'm struggling with the urge to turn that anger back on myself.
I want to be able to let go of control for a little while. I wish I had someone who could get me under control. Could gently help me redirect the anger so it doesn't become self-hatred. Someone that could see my anger, see my pain, hear the words that I only allow inside my head, see my tears, hold space for it and then somehow turn me to mush at his feet.
I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tried of carrying all of the weight by myself. Why does life have to hurt this way?