Could you be with a Dom like this
Could you/would you even want to be with a Dom who was by all accounts amazing, but not that into you?
I have known my friend who is an amazing Dom for about 8 months. I could list the things that make him awesome. The number one thing is, he is safe. He is so safe, trustworthy, honest, and real. We have played CNC, for example. I just mean, he knows what he is doing, and he's a lot of safe fun.
We are LD, FWB's, bedroom only, S&M, D/s.
Bc we are truly non-romantic, FWBs, bedroom only, I'm not sure if I'm wanting too much, or if he just can't meet me, and that's OK, if so.
For context, we are both in our 40s. I would consider him attractive. He has said he thought I was when we first sent pics... I'm not ashamed of my looks, I'm pretty, tall, and thick. When we met I had lost a lot of weight, and just had weight loss surgery earlier this year. He knew that's what I was doing when we met.
Well, at first I thought bc I needed the surgery he was not as into me, but I was ok to see where things went. I had the surgery, and I've seen him since. I still feel like, he just isn't that attracted/into me.
On my way to see him the first time after surgery I told myself, I'll be with him anyway, just so I can explore these things [it is SO HARD finding decent Daddy Doms!!!] However, after our recent meeting, I'm not sure I can.
This is what I mean: He has never complimented me, in any way shape or form since meeting. I shared ALL pics before we ever met. I told him, "It's ok if you're not into me." He assured me he was. But words of affirmation now about looks and whatnot are not there. I don't fish, and he doesn't give. [We've only had sex a few times btw so there hasn't been a lot of opportunity]. He doesn't talk dirty to me with words like, "sexy, hot, etc..." We don't passionately make out. I even stated once, "I don't think you're that into me/attracted to me," and he ignored that text. He also doesn't do a lot of talking about anything else though.... Like, I've had men say, how much they love my pussy, or xyz, while fucking, but he doesn't.
Now, we hang out, cuddle, have sex, do all the things with that, he is affectionate before, and after, he gives me aftercare, etc. He will hold me all night, and give me small kisses.
Again, I'm not sure I want to throw the whole man away, bc I have ZERO other complaints. He handles conflict well, his communication is great, for a FWBs, bedroom only Dom, I would gatekeep his ass FOREVER.
However, Idk if it's really sustainable for me. I feel like maybe if I just treated him as someone I saw for casual bdsm hookups.... but trying to treat him like he's my Dom, when I don't feel fully chosen, is not working.
Maybe I want too much from this type of connection?
This is my first real dynamic.