Advice welcomed
Hi all. We (43F and 37M) are a fully commited and well established couple, New to the LS. We fully embrace this as we only talk (chat) with others together in group chat, we only go on dates (to meet first) together and we only play together. We keepmour bed sacred, we host outside our home. We agreed, anything outside that(behind the others back) we consider "cheating". Nothing is done behind the others back. Everything is consensual even choosing partners. We have great communication. I, the female half, was the one who brought the idea of swinging. After lots of discussions we both feel this is right for us. We have had swaps. Reclamation sex is amazing. The bond and closeness it brings is phenomenal. The level of openess, trust and happiness are why we continue. We love the bond is has created.
As a couple, how do you move past the ingrained fears of "losing them" to others. Or the feeling that youre cheating on them. I know for me (the female half) I have fleeting moments of, "what are we doing, im going to lose him". And for him he has moments of, "she's going to find someone better,a better man". This is more of fear/insecurity vs. jealousy. Neither are jealous. We love seeing the other flirt, and receive pleasure. We can be with others and fully enjoy the moment before, during and after.
We both come from a strongly monogamous past. And those ideologies are still in the background, a forshadow i guess. I guess my question is.... how do we move past the monogamy brainwashing fears (this is what im calling it) as it's not a huge issue and it really only creeps in very rarely, id say a couple times now.
Im hoping since we are newish that with more experiences this will go away with time.
Love and advice are welcomed.