u/PuzzleheadedChain786

Hey guys,

I’m 37, married, and have been bi-curious for a while now but never really explored it. Lately been thinking about it more and figured I’d see what’s out there.

Pretty new to all this, so I’d prefer someone chill, patient, and knows what they’re doing. Not looking to rush into anything—more just take it slow, learn a bit, and see where it goes.

Discretion is a big thing for me, so hoping to connect with someone who gets that and keeps things low-key.

If you’re easygoing and open to chatting first, hit me up.

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Hey everyone, I’m looking for some perspective and maybe experiences from people who’ve explored this.

I’ve been married for a while, and recently my wife has been extremely busy with her masters and work. I’m genuinely proud of her, but at the same time our intimacy has dropped to almost nothing.

I’ll be honest—it’s starting to affect me more than I expected. I feel lonely, unwanted, and like I’m always the one initiating or asking for intimacy. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to ask anymore because it feels like I’m begging, and that’s not the dynamic I want in our relationship.

What I really miss is feeling desired. I wish she would want me, initiate sometimes, or at least show that side of herself more openly.

I recently came across the idea of erotic hypnosis and guided audio, and I’m curious if this is something that could help someone reconnect with their own desires, especially when they’re mentally overloaded or stressed.

To be clear, I’m not trying to manipulate or pressure her into anything. If anything, I’m wondering if there are tools that help someone relax, get out of their head, and feel more in tune with their body again.

Has anyone here (personally or with a partner) explored this?

Does it actually help with desire/libido?

Are there specific types of audio or approaches that are more about relaxation and connection rather than anything extreme?

How would you even bring this up to a partner without it sounding weird or forced?

Also open to any advice from people who’ve been in similar situations where one partner is just mentally drained and intimacy takes a backseat.

Appreciate any thoughts.

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I don’t really know how to say this properly, but I’ve been feeling pretty miserable about this part of my marriage.

My wife and I have been together 15 years, married for 11. I love her a lot. She’s my person and I care about her more than anything. But our sex life has become a really painful topic for me.

I’m HL, she’s LL. We’ve talked about it before and at one point she told me that sex feels “taboo” to her. That honestly stuck with me in a bad way. For me, sex is how I feel close, connected, wanted. For her, it feels like something uncomfortable or almost wrong.

What hurts the most is not just the lack of sex, it’s the feeling of not being wanted. I still want her a lot. I wish she wanted me the same way, not just occasionally or out of obligation, but genuinely.

I hate even saying this, but sometimes I feel like I’m stuck. Either I keep suppressing it and feel frustrated all the time, or I risk doing something stupid. I’ve had urges to look elsewhere just to feel wanted, but I haven’t acted on it because I don’t want to mess up my marriage.

So instead I just deal with it myself and try to move on, but it doesn’t really fix anything. The feeling just keeps coming back.

I see people here talk about their partners wanting them and it honestly makes me wonder if that’s even possible for me anymore.

Has anyone been in a situation like this where your partner sees sex as something taboo?

Can desire even be rebuilt in a situation like this?

How do you deal with loving your partner so much but feeling unwanted at the same time?

I’m not trying to blame her. I know she’s not doing this on purpose. I just feel stuck and kind of alone in this.