When you feel overwhelmed with it… do you ride it or fight it?
I gave up fighting it a long time ago. whenever i tried to push it down, it always came back stronger, deeper, and way darker. There are still moments when life expects me to be sane and respectable and i actually feel proud that i can pull it together and stay in control for a while. But the second that control slips… the taste of losing it never leaves me. the insane highs, the way my darkest desires line up perfectly, the feeling of turning into the perfect little toy...nothing else comes close.
Leaning into it without inhibitions and guilt changed everything. i love myself more every single day for being this way. i’m not emotionally clingy at all and i love that my hedonistic side always takes priority. i train hard every morning (runs, yoga, pilates, kegels) not just to stay fit but because i want to be even more fuckable and learn those special little talents men crave. i pick my outfits like i’m designing the whole day / night around how slutty and magnetic i want to feel.
I genuinely feel blessed that i’m hypersexual. I love this beautiful craziness and all the intense pleasures it brings me. life would feel so flat and boring without it.