Do you have to act like a “happy girl” all the time in arrangements?
I’m kinda confused by a recent situation and wondering if I became “too real” instead of just staying fun/light/happy.
I met a guy from Seeking and things felt surprisingly organic at first. We’d do activities together, hold hands in public, I stayed over at his place before and he even gave me a toothbrush there. He was very consistent too, driving far to see me, texting regularly, talking about emotional connection, etc. I actually liked him, which is rare for me in arrangements.
Then after his business trip, the energy suddenly shifted.
The same day I got rejected from an important interview, I feel sad and just want to talk to him(I didn’t mention anything about the interview at all). While he sent me a selfie during his trip, I accidentally sent him screenshots of our convo that were meant for ChatGPT like “where is this place”😭 (English isn’t my first language and I was stressed). I felt so awkward and cooked. He acted normal about it, but after that he slowly stopped asking me out(used to met every week vs no meetups for 1.5 months)
From our previous conversations with me initiated and he replied low efforts then let it dropped, I almost accepted the fact the he met someone new that he wanted to focus on. And I understand that the way I accidentally sent the screenshot of our conversation including the selfie could give the ick to anyone, if I were him I’d feel off immediately. I tried to move on. Later he texted me saying he’d been sick since coming back from the trip, but I also noticed he updated his Seeking profile pics and was active there at the same time. I am confused, it sounds like a soft explanation “I am not feeling well so I didn’t ask you out as before”, at the same time, he took a new picture and updated it on Seeking. Am I a piece of trash sit in recycling bin? I’d rather he tells me that he feels something off about me or he meet someone that is more compatible, instead of making me very confused.
One small thing that weirdly hurts: my neighbor gave me colorful eggs from their chickens, I told him and he once said he wanted to try them. I forgot to bring them last time, so I actually replaced the eggs twice just to keep fresh ones for next meet.I guess part of why the ambiguity hurts is I keep fresh eggs for him. But now I should probably cook the eggs or give them to someone else before they go bad too.
I did talk a bit about job searching stress when he asked, and now I keep wondering if I stopped feeling like “easy/fun companionship” and became too emotionally real.
Do people in arrangements actually want emotional connection, or just good vibes without real vulnerability? Or maybe a bit of authenticity(no more than 20% negative energy?) and “happy girl” vibes in general?