r/sugarlifestyleforum

Has sugar dating in Australia changed? Genuine question from an SB.
I’m an Australian SB and have had multiple long-term arrangements over the years, but lately I can’t help but feel like things aren’t as legitimate as they used to be.
Maybe it’s just me, but it feels like there are far more time wasters, people wanting unrealistic expectations, fake profiles, people blurring lines, or men wanting the benefits of an arrangement without genuinely understanding what a mutually beneficial dynamic looks like.
In the past, I found it easier to meet genuine, respectful SDs who valued consistency, communication, chemistry and understood the nature of an arrangement.
These days it feels very different.
I’m genuinely curious if other Australian SBs are finding the same thing?
Has the sugar scene changed here? Are the apps just worse now? Or are people finding better success through other methods, networking or freestyling?
Would genuinely love to hear other people’s experiences, whether good or bad.

...And so far the most memorable part of this trip is all of the sex we're having. 😂 I love it, I'm here for it. I'm not complaining.

For those who frequently travel overseas, what gets you out of the hotel room apart from food? I need ideas, please 😆🙏

We planned this trip very loosely because we wanted to take it easy after a huge month at work (we work in the same industry), but all the time for spontaneity has ended up in the bedroom lol. I want to make this memorable for him, too. Yes, he has already received lots and lots of blowjobs.

I have an SD and honestly he’s pretty good when it comes to spoiling me, but he almost never gives cash directly. It’s usually gifts, shopping, vouchers, food deliveries, and other stuff like that.

I’m not exactly complaining because he does spend money on me, but sometimes I wonder if this is normal in SR's or not. Most arrangements I see online talk about allowances or ppm, so now I’m curious how common this type of arrangement actually is.

Do SDs just prefer gifting over cash, or this simply a sign that they’re avoiding real financial support?

I think I would do well on seeking, but I really worry about family or friends somehow finding my profile😅 How did you get over this?? Or do I need to just commit to freestyling?

Here I am again posting and this one is a LONG ONE so please buckle up lol HAHAH. I would say things has been better for me these past few months as I've found a nicer SD than my previous ones. Though I don't know if I made I think I'm the problem at this point. I've been seeing this SD quite recently. We meet up every 3 days (usually) since I have classes and he has his own things to do.

Our first date was pretty good as he made me feel comfortable and didn't push on anything and I did end kissing him at the end of the M&G. Two things stood out to me though, he mentioned that he was hoping to find a woman he can settle down with eventually and he was just hopeful, I just simply nodded and said he seemed like a optimist. Second thing is when the date ended I asked him flat out if he wanted to be exclusive in the future? He was honest and said he was still talking to other girls and I said I was okay with that and he didn't push on any further. In my mind that just made things clear that this wasn't exclusive.

Fast foward to multiple dates (I lost track since we've been meeting so frequent) and finding out we were compatible. I was getting comfortable with him and he was with me. He began joking around meeting my parents and basically whisking me away and putting a ring on my finger. The first few times I just laughed and played along. I didn't think much of it because he was a divorced man of 10 years and I was thinking he's not the type to get married again since their divorce end up being messy (based on his stories) which he ends talking about most of the time with our dates. Fast forward when we were in bed and just literally "finished" he asked if it was okay for him to be honest. I said of course, then he said it stung him a little that I only see him as someone to have fun with.

Back then he asked what future did I want and I should exclude him from the context ( he asked this when it was our 3rd date) and I was honest and said I wanted to graduate get a stable job and hopefully move out of my country and explore. He then brought up if I wanted that he can just take me to the US and stay with him and we could travel the world together. So basically I'de marry him to get the green card and be a stay at home wife for him. Which nothing wrong with that, I did fantasize that way before I met him but of course I didn't want to solely depend on the man and still want to work. Of course I replied to him that I don't see myself staying in the US since the asian hate is crazy and for a 5ft woman who has no friends theee I don't think I can survive there. So he then explained how he would make it comfortable and etc. Again I just ended up brushing it off.

So every meet up he would always make a joke about that marriage, whisking me away, talking to my parents and etc. Which as much as I can just take it as a joke and brush it off but then my birthday happend which is literally just yesterday. He took me out to a very nice restuarant and we had a very lovely time. I mentioned that I need to ask something and we would talk about it at his place since the restaurant was too quiet and fancy which he agreed to. I wanted to ask him what type of arrangement do we have as for being exclusive because I have other offers that I might be interested in taking if the chemistry goes well. Fast forward to his place and the talk happened, at first he was so worried that I was gonna break up with him on my bday which I reassured him I wasn't. So I asked him if he was still talking to other girls which I continued that it would be fine as I'm only asking cause I wanted to know where we stood. He said he wasn't, not after we started going out continuously.

Then I explained that I wanted to be honest with him and didn't want to feel guilty if I ever end up entertaining someone else. He said that he doesn't want me to feel guilty but he would prefer if I just don't mention it to him while we're together which I totally understand and agreed with. He then continued saying that if I wanted exclusivity with him it would be a two way street and since he's situation is a bit complicated. Since he would be staying at L.A for around 2 months and he would be coming back here in my country and he couldn't promise me at this moment that he can be exclusive but he does really like me but he can't promise it and he doesn't want to lie to me. Knowing how lonely he can get by himself, I understood him and his needs, I was upfront that I really appreciate him being so nice and honest about it and I have no problem with it, I just wanted to be clear with him. Then he asked me if I did want to be exclusive with him which I said I would want that as it can get tiring for me to entertain multiple guys at the same time and would prefer to focus on one especially him since we get along but since we were on a ppm basis and he was going back to his country for several weeks, I needed to find someone else while he was gone.

He then mentioned that those are two different things, if I wanted to be real exclusive with him then I'm going to have to date him with intention that would end up in marriage. Of course I froze, I wasn't thinking about marriage at this moment as I took all of it as a joke back then, he did mention that all our jokes was just jokes but could be half meant. He then continued that if it was about him helping me out then he could do that. He continued that he does want to get married again and he was close two years ago that how he was almost engaged. At this moment I was in panic mode and felt that he was the type of person who rushes in with things and now I was the one blabbering. I immediately said that we should take a step back on what I said and I think it was for the best if we just forget about what we just talked about (I just felt so emberassed that I blurted out how I was looking to be exclusive with him earlier) he then said it was okay but if him helping out while he was away help me become exclusive to him he would be more than happy to do it.

He continued on that he was really flattered that I wanted to be exclusive with him since its been so long that anyone has wanted him and I was literally getting so emberassed by this point. After a couple of minutes of silence and just us watching a movie, he began teasing that he can just put a ring on my finger and he had no choice but to be exclusive with me. At this point I was just nervous laughing because that wasn't my intention for this talk. I then changed the subject about having birthday sex but he said he couldn't do the sex part but he can focus on my pleasure instead. I of course was bummed out as I'm the type to get off when my partner is also feeling good. So we just continued on with that and it was still good then he mentioned having to get home since it was late and I agreed. He then said he was looking for bday card all day but couldn't and he wanted to give me some money, I said the dinner was enough but I would prefer an actual gift instead of money he then smiled and looked excited that he can pick for me.

After a couple of minutes he tried to bring the topic up again of him helping me out while he was away and I said can we just talk about it another time? At this point I was just scrambling to find my stuff and I could feel some awkward tension between us with all the talk and sex being declined. So I was trying to just get out of there as soon as I can cause I felt stupid and tipsy from the dinner. He then booked me a ride and since I didn't want to end the day awkward, I just become clingy and was asking lots of kisses before leaving which I could see put him in a good mood. Then the night ended.

WHEW!!! I don't know if I'm asking for advice or anything but would appreciate your inputs. I really do like him and I'm to see him excited again. I'm genuinely happy with the time we're sharing 🩷

I guess it's common to see the true nature of your relationship when things come to an end. The SD I've been seening, was very short with me when I told him about my new work schedule. I said I could do earlier or later but not our usual time. I said no, he said he can do earlier if I can host. To which I said no. So that was short but his response cracked me up, literally I got a nice knowing you and best wishes. I find it funny and also like okay damn, I'm not trying to waste anyone's time but that was a clear statement of my place in his life. Have any other SBs felt this way too? I'm learning the variety of SR still and that one was just a quick and clean cut, no loose ends. Also, I'm feeling maybe not a true SD bc we hardly talked, no real benefits. Share you thoughts haha.

This might be too sensitive. But we know the performance sometimes decline as the age goes up..... questions for SBs, score your bedroom satisfaction (1- 10 with 10 best) and tell me if you would stay in the relationship if bedroom is really not interesting........

i'm getting back into the lifestyle, slowly but surely, after many years. i'm grateful for the experience so far in trying to get back into it as my previous attempts were met with failure because i was young (18) and misguided. now at 29 (a little too old for some of these men but hey), i feel smarter and probably the most confident i've felt in general but especially in sugaring.

it is hard, however, when you feel confident and unfortunately, you're at a point where you understand the depth of your limitations in sugaring.

i'm a black woman and yes, many people says it doesn't matter but it does, absolutely. i have always known it'd be different for me and i accepted that but everything sort of adds up. in my years of non sugaring (and not thinking i'd ever go back), i got tattoos, i lost weight and put some back on and i've lived life how i wanted which is how it should always be. but it's not a secret that looking the way i do is a point deducted from a lot of SD's. or, worse and most common, i'm just viewed as inherently trashy. so men approach me just for sex or the idea of that i'd be easy to get in bed with and it goes nowhere because i won't have sex unless i'm committed.

currently trying to upgrade my wardrobe, little by little. trying to wear modest clothes that reflect my style (which is hard when you're tall, curvy and it's getting close to summer 😭). i'm keeping my hairstyles long and natural colors (been doing that for years now), and trying to style them in the ways i find most flattering and feminine. with weight, i know there are SD's that don't mind plus size girls but a lot of them do want someone who is slim and active. i've been wanting to get into pilates and yoga, it just all takes time.

anyways, i'm not saying anything surprising or something no one knows. it's just hard having to work twice as hard + all the internal stuff that comes with that. it's a challenge i've been enjoying while simultaneously a little soul crushing at the moment because to be hyper aware of how you're perceived constantly is potential ego death lol.

For SDs and SBs: what boundaries do you set in sugar relationships to avoid getting too emotionally attached while still keeping things healthy and balanced? What other personal boundaries do you usually have in these arrangements?

Taking a moment to honor and remember the brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. 🕊️🎖️❤️ (Obviously USA 🇺🇸 based, sorry everyone else throwaway post)

Wishing everyone a weekend filled with sunshine ☀️, good food 🍔🌭, cold drinks 🍻🥤and time with the people you love 🫶

I’m currently trying dating/looking for a SD through sa and wyp right now. The problem with the men i’m running into is that a lot of the men become very sexual very quickly like by the second date and that’s just not really where I’m at. I’ve actually been celibate for years now, so I’m not interested in casually hooking up for money. No judgment toward people who are into that, it’s just not for me personally. And obviously I understand that intimacy can be part of these dynamics eventually, but I’m more interested in meeting someone who genuinely enjoys taking care of me, getting to know me, and building a real connection over time. Which obviously because i’m on these sites i probably won’t get but I’m at a point where, if I’m dating someone, I’d rather be with a man who naturally wants to provide and make my life easier instead of just texting and facetiming constantly without actually planning dates or showing real effort which is what I kept running into on sites like Tinder and Bumble. I’ve only been on 3 dates so far with 3 different guys, but the overly sexual energy has honestly been a little discouraging. I guess I’m just wondering if this is how most of these dynamics tend to be, or if there are actually men looking for something more genuine, respectful, and connection based.

What if every major city had a “Ghosted” gathering for SBs and SDs every month? It’s definitely not realistic but I was just thinking about. Imagine the connections that would be made haha. Have a good weekend!

my sd has been giving me small gifts and helping me out financially, but it’s starting to make some of my family upset. The weird part is that I haven’t changed as a person at all. I’m not acting “better than” anyone, rubbing anything in people’s faces, or suddenly treating people differently. If anything I just feel less stressed knowing I have a little extra help sometimes. It’s like they were more comfortable with me when I had less. Now every little thing gets side-eyed or judged like I’ve somehow “changed”. The comments are usually passive aggressive, judgmental, or straight up meant to shame me by implying I’m a sex worker. Instead of being happy that I’m receiving support or doing a little better, some people immediately jump to degrading labels and disrespect. It’s honestly confusing. Has anyone else dealt with family becoming resentful? How did you handle it without completely ruining the relationship?

i swear why do like 99% of the men on there copy paste like we don’t know. OR are so unoriginal it’s embarrassing 😭

average conversation

POT: hey

me: hey! can i ask what you’re looking for?

POT: something mutually beneficial

NO SHIT SHERLOCK

I’ve met with a POT on seeking and we’ve been talking for like 2 weeks.
At some point he offered to do a M&G and I accepted but since we lived in different cities I asked to FT first to see if the vibe was still good and if we were « serious » about meeting. We did the FT and everything went great we kept talking for 2 days but then out of nowhere I got blocked everywhere and I am wondering what’s the pleasure some man get out of doing that ? Isn’t it just a big waste of time and money ?

I’m sitting here poolside in Vegas writing this. My SD turned SBF is upstairs working a bit before he comes down.

I’ve been in the bowl 1.5 years and have had some incredible experiences and have been VERY fortunate - especially given that I am a 43 year old SB :)

When first getting started, I always liked seeing positive posts like this. I was obsessed with learning everything I could and manifested the shit out of what it was I wanted. I had grown my business, and wanted to see if I could have the same success with sugaring.

This isn’t a brag post, just feeling extremely grateful and hoping it serves as a little inspiration ❤️

My SBF is only two years older, we’ve been together ten months and I’m totally crazy about him. We’ve always done mid $xxxx monthly allowance, lots of gifts and last month I got a credit card.

The best part - we have genuine chemistry and the most incredible sex. It’s been a slow, steady build, with a ton of emphasis on open, honest communication and mutual trust. It took a while to get here, we were slow to lean in. In the end I think that really helped! But I’m completely smitten and I think he is pretty happy too.

So ladies - if I can do this, you can too. ❤️ Be smart, show him appreciation and NEVER take him for granted. Be on time, genuinely interested and know your boundaries. Read lots (The Art of Seduction was super helpful) and spoil him rotten. Do not sugar out of desperation, and more than anything - trust your instincts. I kissed a few frogs prior to him and learned that my instincts were always right.

Wishing you all lots of success in this weird little world✨💝

TGIF! It's that time again. Share your triumphs, your disappoints with your fellow compatriots. Who else would understand but us? :-)

This is more of a vent/rant than anything else. As we all know its is very common, but.. it does not have to be. I have wasted a few hours of texting and dm'ing only to find out they are 100-150 miles away from me. Not the 30 mile radius I searched in.

I get many of you SBs need discretion and safety. 100% on board with that. However, once we move offsite, please, please let us know ASAP you do not live near us at all.

I spent over two hours texting with 2 POTs. Hammered everything out. Then they tell me they live 100-150 miles from me. I would have never engaged them knowing this upfront. Or would have bowed out of the convo very early on.

I know most of us have a search radius for a reason. Mine is 30 miles. Maybe 50 max. So as not to have to 'travel' and vice versa. I know I will get downvoted for this one. but I am not a fan of paying your travel fees since you mislead me from the get go. One POT added a 20% travel fee after the fact. Yeah, no. Not a fan of that.

Please let us know ASAP and factor that into your ask. Not adding it on after the fact.

Back to our regularly shceduled program.

Happy Sugaring!

For context: He is NOT my SD, rather a man I have dated for a bit. He is 2x my age (looks amazing for his age tbh, I thought he was younger), is married, lives part time here and part time out of the country and has a few gfs (I don’t care about that part). Not sure of his exact financial status, but definitely very well off. Probably a multi millionaire.

We are going on a trip soon and I want new clothes for the trip. He has never given me money because I asked for it, but he has given me money just for the heck of it. (Not large amounts, total he has given me would be mid $XXX in cash. Obviously he pays for everything while we are together) Because this isn’t a SD/SB relationship, I am unsure how I want to approach asking for money to go shopping before the trip. I am unsure if being direct or a little more coy would be better, as I don’t want to scare him off.

In the past when I have been offered shopping trips and/or given large amounts of money by non-SD’s, i haven’t had to ask or negotiate with them.

I am leaning towards a more direct approach because it is true…I just want money to go shopping to get some new things, as well as pay my phone bill before I go and buy some other misc things like hair products, toiletries, etc.

SB’s: how would you ask a non-SB man for a shipping spree that is direct yet leaves the door open for him to say no?

SD’s: how would you want to be asked for money before a trip for shopping in a situation where you are taking a woman on vacation who isn’t your SB?