u/CenTexFunGuy

So out of sheer boredom last week or two I have been reading the Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and dating advice subs. I am mortified at the levels of low efforts across the board. Does not matter, gender, sex or whatever you identify as. All the same, low effort, ghosting, almost zero communication attempts made by all. Then they wonder why they cannot get a date and or keep a date? Pick up the goddamn phone and call each other!!!

Everyone freaks out over trying to define and label everything. Also seems like everyone lies and cheats on everyone. Also, everyone in vanilla seems so fragile with low self esteem to boot. Talk about thin skinned.

I know sugar has its moments. But we are not as invested emotionally in them before they actually start. And even then its arm's length for a while.

At the end of the day I would still pick sugar over vanilla.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/comments/1ukt1ji/im_glad_i_wasnt_born_yesterday/

So he is proud of blocking her and being cheap and dusty. I would not bat an eye for a first date if vanilla or sugar. Cost would be the same as if it was a sugar meet and greet.

Now, I do agree some women are rinsers in vanilla and ofc sugaring, but you have to take a chance now and then!!

Edit: he took it down, but basically as the title says. He was proud to block her when she suggested a place to eat after he invited her to dinner. He can be dusty as he can. Us SDs will gladly take her for a nice meal.

Long story short. I met a POT 4 months ago. We had a meet and greet. It was nice she was fun. Had a 2nd get to know you date. In the end I was not her type of SD. She is the Saturday night date type. Dinner, drinks, Clubs/Bars. Then sex at midnight or whenever. I am more of an mid afternoon early evening date. Over by 9pm.

Anyway. I politely told here we were not a match. I wished her well and that was that. I did not ghost her. Fast forward last night I get at text from her asking if I was still interested in an SR with her? She said she was 'shooting her shot' to see. I was like.... didn't you read my last text to you 4 months ago saying we were not a match? And that I wished you luck? I guess she did not. I told her once again. Thank you, but we are not a match.

I have had this happen only one other time back in 2021. I guess times are tough to find an SD who does not ask for sex in the first 2 min of the Meet and is nice to them? Not that is matters, but she did ask me for sex for the 2nd date. I was not ready since I was feeling it might not work out. I did not want to pump and dump her. Trying to be the good guy and it put me in an odd spot.

Anyone else have this happen to them lately?

This is more of a vent/rant than anything else. As we all know its is very common, but.. it does not have to be. I have wasted a few hours of texting and dm'ing only to find out they are 100-150 miles away from me. Not the 30 mile radius I searched in.

I get many of you SBs need discretion and safety. 100% on board with that. However, once we move offsite, please, please let us know ASAP you do not live near us at all.

I spent over two hours texting with 2 POTs. Hammered everything out. Then they tell me they live 100-150 miles from me. I would have never engaged them knowing this upfront. Or would have bowed out of the convo very early on.

I know most of us have a search radius for a reason. Mine is 30 miles. Maybe 50 max. So as not to have to 'travel' and vice versa. I know I will get downvoted for this one. but I am not a fan of paying your travel fees since you mislead me from the get go. One POT added a 20% travel fee after the fact. Yeah, no. Not a fan of that.

Please let us know ASAP and factor that into your ask. Not adding it on after the fact.

Back to our regularly shceduled program.

Happy Sugaring!