r/sugardaddyhangout

Monthly there are posts in other groups about mentorship.
Either the lady craves, prefers, or would like some "mentorship".
Or the guy will ask should he or is it cool to lead with mentorship.

Guys who've been in this thing for awhile, how do you make the calculation. Is it even a calculation now ?

Mentorship and the money ? Meaning is the nature of the relationship strictly money based. Or are you mentorship and money leaning with the lady if it makes sense ?

Or you've done that shit before and it's low percentage ? What's been the experience. I'm sure some newbie sd's could use some real talk.

Married, been doing this longer than I probably should admit.

One thing I’ve realized is that becoming a SD didn’t suddenly turn me into some guy obsessed with women. I was already that guy. I’ve had a very high sex drive my entire adult life and have always loved variety.

Money just changed what was possible.
When I was younger, meeting women took enormous amounts of time and effort. Now I can offer good experiences, discretion, financial support, flexibility, and frankly a much easier relationship than a lot of conventional dating.

And I don’t think the women are being fooled. Most of the women I see like sex too. They like me, they like being desired, and they like having someone make their financial life easier. Sometimes I’m more attracted to her than she is to me. Sometimes she’s objectively way hotter than I am. Sometimes the chemistry is surprisingly equal.

The thing that still fascinates me is that abundance hasn’t made me want women less.

You’d think eventually your brain would say, Okay, that’s enough. Mine never has.

Curious whether other long-term SDs have experienced the same thing.

Person 1 lives over an hour away. 2 1/2 drive round trip if traffic is good. She's above avg in looks. Daytime and nighttime activities is always a yes. She's just not as easy to meet with because of logistics and time.

Person 2 lives in your city. Under 45 minutes one-way or roundtrip for you two to meet. Not the greatest in the looks department. But body is right. Pleasing accommodating attitude. And she's super local.

It may not be a 1:1 example that fits everyone. But I believe we've run into some similar scenarios. You taking the travel to be with the great looking all around sb. Some extra logistics.

Or sticking closer to homebase with the sb who may not be the knockout. But you don't have to change much about your routine to meet with her.

This is assuming you're in a place where both scenarios are an realistic option.

(this is tee'd up as an "automatic post", but it hasn't been happening... we will resolve the problem, but it mean time please accept my apology)

Welcome to Field Report Wednesdays, gents. This weekly thread is where we bring the bowl to life. Share your real stories – M&Gs, dates, pump & dumps, shopping trips, dinners, bedroom chronicles, and everything in between.

The goal here is simple: learn, laugh, and level up. Whether you’re sharing a hard-earned win, an unexpected twist, or even a moment that didn’t go as planned, your field reports give others a chance to improve their game while celebrating the highs and learning from the lows.

This isn’t just about bragging rights (though those are welcome and encouraged). It’s about building a space where men swap notes, sharpen their strategies, and keep the bowl running the way it should.

Drop your stories below – the good, the bad, and the downright unforgettable.

Imagine two different girls, living in two different parts of a big city (not NYC, Miami or LA... but big enough to have NFL team).

When they create SugarBaby Profiles, it becomes obvious that one girl works at a bank and dresses professionally and/or polished for work and for dates, the other is probably a stripper with an assortment of tattoos and seems to routinely wear scandalous outfits in public.

Which would you contact?

Which one do you think will have an easier time making rent this month?

If you see them both at a bar, which one are you expecting to expecting to ask for PPM after a bit of chatting and buying her a drink? Which are you expecting to be charmed by your demeanor and impressed enough to agree to give you her number for a "vanilla" follow up date?

The "Known Prostitution Web Site" has not been named...

This is probably old hat for guys who been in it for awhile. If you're new this will be your reality soon. Just be normal and DO what you said you was going to do.

In the very beginning you have no experience. Never had a meet & greet. Never had an arrangement. Then you strike gold and have the first one.

It probably fizzled after 2 months. With more experience you easily go through 3 more arrangements. And you wake up remembering the now five previous arrangements. Maybe a pump and dump situation mixed in. P&D situations will happen that are mutual in nature.

All of sudden something happens. The lady who said we're not a match at the m&g a month ago. She texts you out the blue. A sb who told you she is now dating a guy ? She hits you up 60 days later through text or IG with the hey bighead text !

Both of them are back on the market. They're checking around to see if you're free. Either for one time action or resume a previous arrangement. I'm compressing time and context to make this short. Others will chime in on it.

What you now have 6 months to year later in this lifestyle is a number of Satellite Sugarbabies.
I won't call this a roster because in majority of cases you're not dealing with all of them at the same time. But they're "around".

They're literally orbiting around. In and out of "relationships", situationships. Or just living like you and me. If you was to ever call or text to see if she wanted to meet up she's game. Afterwhile, if you're not a complete piece of shit of a man and act normal you'll ALWAYS have 1 or 2 sb's willing/ready. Variety or wanting to try something new would be the only thing making you not want to call her.

My personal belief is this is why some newbie sb's have a hard time. Sometimes newbie sb's are a hassle to deal with. If a guy is back in the marketplace sometimes he'll just reconnect with a Satellite sb. There is familiarity there. So easy to just get back on schedule.

Newbie Sb's have to rely on luck. Or they need to be massively messaging men upfront. But they ain't !

Anyways, do this long enough and you'll have an orbit around you. Sb's don't 100% dismiss decent men who actually gave resources. They too don't like being on the apps any longer then they have to.

This is just my experience. I don't have a lock on the truth. Each man gets a difference response from women. Even the SAME woman.

If you're not aware, women have always engaged in man sharing. Knowingly man sharing. Since forever. Now they won't openly admit that.

It's always Team Woman as outward show of solidarity to the masses (men). But behind closed doors the brass knuckles come out. The girlie talk goes out the window.

If she can't elbow the other woman out the way she'll share him. Out of spite at times. Or she just made peace with it. We've heard the term better to be the sidepiece to a king than the loyal gf of a peasant.

Similar things goes on in sugar dating. Best case scenario women would rather exclusivity. One guy,all hers, funding part or all her lifestyle. There are men walking this earth who can do it. But the number is small. He don't live in her 115k population city. OR she lives in one of the hot sugar zones and those men are more concentrated there.

In those cases of the sugar hot zone, she knows there is a chance she's sharing him with other sbs. Look, we've seen ladies admit on reddit their sd has other babies. If the juice is worth the squeeze she's sharing, quietly, except while sharing it anon on reddit. Better to be on the roster of a guy who can give the ask vs dealing with lowballers and timewasters.

That type of commentary is going to make some people blood boil. But....you know it is true. Just can't let the other girlies know you get down like that less you get kicked out the sisterhood. Find a more realistic sisterhood !

Another pov that's not often brooched. Ladies who live in smaller areas. Or just don't have much luck regardless of area. They'll share just to have a sd. Oh yes. I've tested it a few times just to see what they'll say.

One will message me on the apps. I would inform them I'm already seeing someone. I'm expecting them to bow out. NOPE. I get replies to the contrary. "She won't mind". "What does that has to do with me". We make the distinction between vanilla and sugar dating. While at the same time there are some activities and motivations that transcend the labels. Man sharing.

We've seen this question asked by ladies in the subs.

Someone is not getting the results she wants. Men keep turning it down. Sometimes they come on calling men cheap or johns. Other times she's honestly just looking for answers on what gives.

Like clockwork the crew arrives. The bleed him dry crew. The everybody is a 10 crew. You know the other crews.

They tell her everything but the truth. Don't budge**. Keep your standards high !** Then there are a few brave souls who tell her in the kindest way,"maybe this is not for you". Those brave women get downvoted into eternity...for telling the truth. UP with HOPIUM !! The more a woman gets downvoted it's usually a sign she's going against the sisterhood.

I have my ideas. But for the men who want to chime in, tell them why their ask is too high. Give it to them in plain English. And throw in a tip or two to help them get better outcomes. OR level set. This thing can be very regional. What gives sb's an edge in your region that could give the readers clues for their region.

Welcome to Field Report Wednesdays, gents. This weekly thread is where we bring the bowl to life. Share your real stories – M&Gs, dates, pump & dumps, shopping trips, dinners, bedroom chronicles, and everything in between.

The goal here is simple: learn, laugh, and level up. Whether you’re sharing a hard-earned win, an unexpected twist, or even a moment that didn’t go as planned, your field reports give others a chance to improve their game while celebrating the highs and learning from the lows.

This isn’t just about bragging rights (though those are welcome and encouraged). It’s about building a space where men swap notes, sharpen their strategies, and keep the bowl running the way it should.

Drop your stories below – the good, the bad, and the downright unforgettable.

Ok, so we knew that HCOL areas were "more", and we knew that places like Las Vegas and Omaha were "less".... but did you realize how big a difference some of these places are?

Pensacola here we come!

Location	Representative Semi-Upscale Neighborhoods	Est. Monthly Rent (1-BR)
Monaco	Fontvieille, La Condamine	$9,000 – $14,000+
New York City, NY	Upper West Side, Williamsburg, Long Island City	$4,000 – $5,500
Singapore	River Valley, East Coast (Katong), Novena	$3,000 – $4,200 (S$4,000 – S$5,600)
London, UK	Islington, Richmond, Fulham, Battersea	$2,800 – $3,800 (£2,200 – £3,000)
Honolulu, HI	Kaka’ako, Kaimuki, Hawaii Kai	$2,600 – $3,400
Los Angeles, CA	Culver City, Silver Lake, Pasadena, Brentwood	$2,600 – $3,500
Dallas, TX	Uptown, Knox-Henderson, Bishop Arts	$1,800 – $2,400
Las Vegas, NV	Summerlin (West), Henderson / Green Valley	$1,600 – $2,100
Pensacola, FL	East Hill, Downtown / Palafox Historic District	$1,450 – $1,900
Kansas City, MO	Plaza, Brookside, Crossroads	$1,400 – $1,900
St. Louis, MO	Central West End, Clayton, Soulard	$1,300 – $1,800
Omaha, NE	Aksarben Village, Dundee, Downtown/Old Market	$1,200 – $1,600

So, out of sheer boredom and not really sugaring. I thought I would try my luck on Tinder to see what the fuss is about. Maybe I can find a vanilla type realtionship?

So I set my age search from 20-47 and I am getting matches mostly from 20-24. So far I have matched with 7. The pics are real with local landmarks. I found a few of their socials. I have one phone number. She goes to college in my town. Supposed to text her today.

Out of the 7 so far. One wanted online only, One wanted platonic in person lunches, and coffee dates. One was not clear and only wanted to text as communication. I unmatched all 3 of them. Have 4 I am waiting to get a dm back from. All matched with me first as far I as understand the app.

The one phone number I got she wants in person dates, but also wants me to be a traditional type bf. Not really my thing, but oh well. Might see how it goes.

I hate being negative, here, but OMG. If was into unattractive women. I would have a new date every single day! Most of the women are not even cute. Nothing for me to even work with.

Just curious as to others experience with Tinder? And I have not paid a nickel for the app. Just using the free part now for a month.

You meet her at a low key spot and the conversation was flowing.
Or you're on the phone/video call with her after the meet and greet.
Then she hits you with the what are your expectations. What is your level of generosity.

She's asking the money question boiled down.

You give her a number. She takes it in. Then give you one of two replies. But in reality it's infinite.
My last gave me xyz. Or she'll say the last 2 men she meet up with was offering xzy.

For some of you the urge is to give a snarky reply. Or give her a piece of your mind. Don't do it. She's expecting you to act pissy. It bolsters her fake position I'm about to talk about. Keep it adult.

Acting like an adult and not trying talk her into something works much than saying to her face, "everyone else usually take....". Shit don't work. Especially if she has just as much real world sugar dating experience as you.

90% of the time, there are no other suiters who offered her something. If there was one, he gave her the same amount you suggested. She is doing the very thing people on reddit hate to admit

No my friend, she's running the old negotiation game. People on reddit SWEAR they don't negotiate. Or hate that word. But this is not always Carmax. The negotiations are ongoing whether you want to participate or not. Just Don't negotiate against yourself.

If you decide to play along you better have an handle on what the range is in your area. Guys have talked about how to come to that range/median number. I'll let them chime in if they want to.

First, if she had better offers she would've taken them. Many sb's lean to the lazy side. They'll take the best situation in front of them and get off the app. They hate going to multiple meet and greets in a given week. If she had a good deal she would not be talking to you.

She's hoping you're dumb enough to play along with her. If she's cute enough you may even take her suggestion. She's rubbing your hand as she tells you how she's worth it. And it'll be good for both of you. She's offering you her ceiling that's probably higher than the area. Or, if we're being honest, she's not HOT ENOUGH to be even asking for that.

Stand firm. Am I saying "never" have wiggle room ? No. I am saying if she throws out $800ppm and you know damn well she's not in that category stick with your number. If she's $100 or so away from what you're comfortable with wiggle room wise, then keep talking. Because in my history the typical gap is 100-200 bucks. For my never negotiate maximalists, don't taze me bro !!

Chances are high you're the first guy she's met in person ever or in months. There are no "other" serious suitors most of time. Don't be nasty with it. Let her know this is where you stand. And it's ok if she wants to take some time to think about it.

If you're dialed in on the scene in your city you should have more who agree on sight. Or agree after thinking it over for a day. Versus those who flat out say no. Don't negotiate against yourself.

This rather long-winded treatise about luxury watches had me thinking "Never have I landed an SB with a watch." I don't even wear one. Phone does fine. And the SBs never seem to care. I think these watch guys are compensating for their other limitations. https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/s/C9O9YbmqhE

she sent me this message yesterday why I love being her SD

I was thinking about you I just wanted to say something bc part of me doesn’t think I say it enough … but I feel so blessed to be in your life and so lucky to have your support. I’ve seen so much shit in my life already and have been through so much abuse and pain. So much. And I have so much intelligence and awareness about it which makes it even harder. But all the pain has given me the gift of discernment and truth. I am able to see people for who they are, no matter how much they try to hide it. There are so many cruel people out there. It takes an incredible amount of courage to be kind, to be love. And you are love. You are kind. You are honest and righteous.  I know we grew up in such different times haha but God is real. I know it for a fact. One day you will know it for a fact too. you will meet him and be able to ask him anything about your life here in the material world. And God is so proud of the man you are. Your parents are so proud of the man you are. I love you. I know I struggle sometimes and it can come off as unstable or inconsistent. For that im so sorry and I always pray you don’t take it personal. Even though I hide it I am going through my years of tribulation. Some of the hardest years of my life. And God always says he will never give you more than you can handle. He will make sure there is something that keeps you going and makes life possible. And you are that something. I hope you know that. We can never end up together forever because that is not Gods will, but I will always love you. I will always think of you as the man who changed my life. Im sorry for being sappy hahaha. I am thinking so many things right now (procrastinating). I love you ❤️ remember that you are free loved, and divine 

She texts you, versus calling, and says she needs 80 bucks or her phone is about to get turned off.
She message you and says she short on some insurance bill. But you've only known her for less than 3 months. So you say no or ignore her.

2 days later she's on social media showing off new hairdo. New nails. At the bar with her girlfriends.
What emergency ??? 🥳 She vibing out.

For these sugarbabies, their emergency is not your emergency. She'll figure it out. She figured it out before you came on the scene.

You can ignore me and figure it out on your own. I certainly figured it out after realizing I don't have to always be big daddy and save the day. That real or imagined emergency seemed to work itself out.

The r/GirlDinnerDiaries post is no longer available, but how did I miss it???

The "internet" apparently broke into two camps, as described in the vice.com link... but there should have been a third camp, and there wasn't. There should be more than TWO options for girls in their twenties:

Option #1 for Twenty-Something Girl (the OP) = Become a dentist and still not reach goals by 30... yah she's probably right about that because she wants luxury, travel, leisure.

Option #2 for same girl = Marry a rich guy that will have power over her to dump her at any time.

Without having seen the original post, I'm surprised that she didn't even consider the possibility of simplifying her expectations. Consider a less luxurious location. Consider marrying a guy that loves you, rather than uses you. There are ways to be happy that don't include knowing the clerk at Cartier on a first name basis.

Or... was she intentionally tweaking the "internet" by only definiing ONE way to be happy. Two paths to ONE possible way to be fulfilled.

I wish I had seen the original post.

I'm lucky to be in the Midwest where people can actually survive on reasonable wages, and/or can have exceptional luxuries while not having to deal with the absurd costs associated with LA, London, NYC, Miami, SF, Singapore, Paris, etc...

And I'm lucky to have found women that enjoy visiting places like Cabo, Honolulu, St.Croix, Aspen... but would never want to deal with the crap that we've seen in London, NYC, LA, SF, Miami...

Did any of you see the original post?

I've been swamped with work lately and seeking's activity is drying up.

Ive heard a lot of people mention they have been finding SBs on vanilla dating sights like hinge? How do you frame your profile to appeal to women with the sugar mindset without violating the site's terms and conditions?

The general rule is to never sugar in desperation.
But shit, desperate times calls for desperate measures at times.
So who are "some" of the ladies who find themselves sugaring out of desperation ? How did they get there ?

Lord Destro has a video the perfectly sums up one the types who find themselves on the "apps".
I've run across a few variations of the once upon a time baddie model type.