u/southernslick

Monthly there are posts in other groups about mentorship.
Either the lady craves, prefers, or would like some "mentorship".
Or the guy will ask should he or is it cool to lead with mentorship.

Guys who've been in this thing for awhile, how do you make the calculation. Is it even a calculation now ?

Mentorship and the money ? Meaning is the nature of the relationship strictly money based. Or are you mentorship and money leaning with the lady if it makes sense ?

Or you've done that shit before and it's low percentage ? What's been the experience. I'm sure some newbie sd's could use some real talk.

Person 1 lives over an hour away. 2 1/2 drive round trip if traffic is good. She's above avg in looks. Daytime and nighttime activities is always a yes. She's just not as easy to meet with because of logistics and time.

Person 2 lives in your city. Under 45 minutes one-way or roundtrip for you two to meet. Not the greatest in the looks department. But body is right. Pleasing accommodating attitude. And she's super local.

It may not be a 1:1 example that fits everyone. But I believe we've run into some similar scenarios. You taking the travel to be with the great looking all around sb. Some extra logistics.

Or sticking closer to homebase with the sb who may not be the knockout. But you don't have to change much about your routine to meet with her.

This is assuming you're in a place where both scenarios are an realistic option.

This is probably old hat for guys who been in it for awhile. If you're new this will be your reality soon. Just be normal and DO what you said you was going to do.

In the very beginning you have no experience. Never had a meet & greet. Never had an arrangement. Then you strike gold and have the first one.

It probably fizzled after 2 months. With more experience you easily go through 3 more arrangements. And you wake up remembering the now five previous arrangements. Maybe a pump and dump situation mixed in. P&D situations will happen that are mutual in nature.

All of sudden something happens. The lady who said we're not a match at the m&g a month ago. She texts you out the blue. A sb who told you she is now dating a guy ? She hits you up 60 days later through text or IG with the hey bighead text !

Both of them are back on the market. They're checking around to see if you're free. Either for one time action or resume a previous arrangement. I'm compressing time and context to make this short. Others will chime in on it.

What you now have 6 months to year later in this lifestyle is a number of Satellite Sugarbabies.
I won't call this a roster because in majority of cases you're not dealing with all of them at the same time. But they're "around".

They're literally orbiting around. In and out of "relationships", situationships. Or just living like you and me. If you was to ever call or text to see if she wanted to meet up she's game. Afterwhile, if you're not a complete piece of shit of a man and act normal you'll ALWAYS have 1 or 2 sb's willing/ready. Variety or wanting to try something new would be the only thing making you not want to call her.

My personal belief is this is why some newbie sb's have a hard time. Sometimes newbie sb's are a hassle to deal with. If a guy is back in the marketplace sometimes he'll just reconnect with a Satellite sb. There is familiarity there. So easy to just get back on schedule.

Newbie Sb's have to rely on luck. Or they need to be massively messaging men upfront. But they ain't !

Anyways, do this long enough and you'll have an orbit around you. Sb's don't 100% dismiss decent men who actually gave resources. They too don't like being on the apps any longer then they have to.

This is just my experience. I don't have a lock on the truth. Each man gets a difference response from women. Even the SAME woman.

If you're not aware, women have always engaged in man sharing. Knowingly man sharing. Since forever. Now they won't openly admit that.

It's always Team Woman as outward show of solidarity to the masses (men). But behind closed doors the brass knuckles come out. The girlie talk goes out the window.

If she can't elbow the other woman out the way she'll share him. Out of spite at times. Or she just made peace with it. We've heard the term better to be the sidepiece to a king than the loyal gf of a peasant.

Similar things goes on in sugar dating. Best case scenario women would rather exclusivity. One guy,all hers, funding part or all her lifestyle. There are men walking this earth who can do it. But the number is small. He don't live in her 115k population city. OR she lives in one of the hot sugar zones and those men are more concentrated there.

In those cases of the sugar hot zone, she knows there is a chance she's sharing him with other sbs. Look, we've seen ladies admit on reddit their sd has other babies. If the juice is worth the squeeze she's sharing, quietly, except while sharing it anon on reddit. Better to be on the roster of a guy who can give the ask vs dealing with lowballers and timewasters.

That type of commentary is going to make some people blood boil. But....you know it is true. Just can't let the other girlies know you get down like that less you get kicked out the sisterhood. Find a more realistic sisterhood !

Another pov that's not often brooched. Ladies who live in smaller areas. Or just don't have much luck regardless of area. They'll share just to have a sd. Oh yes. I've tested it a few times just to see what they'll say.

One will message me on the apps. I would inform them I'm already seeing someone. I'm expecting them to bow out. NOPE. I get replies to the contrary. "She won't mind". "What does that has to do with me". We make the distinction between vanilla and sugar dating. While at the same time there are some activities and motivations that transcend the labels. Man sharing.

We've seen this question asked by ladies in the subs.

Someone is not getting the results she wants. Men keep turning it down. Sometimes they come on calling men cheap or johns. Other times she's honestly just looking for answers on what gives.

Like clockwork the crew arrives. The bleed him dry crew. The everybody is a 10 crew. You know the other crews.

They tell her everything but the truth. Don't budge**. Keep your standards high !** Then there are a few brave souls who tell her in the kindest way,"maybe this is not for you". Those brave women get downvoted into eternity...for telling the truth. UP with HOPIUM !! The more a woman gets downvoted it's usually a sign she's going against the sisterhood.

I have my ideas. But for the men who want to chime in, tell them why their ask is too high. Give it to them in plain English. And throw in a tip or two to help them get better outcomes. OR level set. This thing can be very regional. What gives sb's an edge in your region that could give the readers clues for their region.

You meet her at a low key spot and the conversation was flowing.
Or you're on the phone/video call with her after the meet and greet.
Then she hits you with the what are your expectations. What is your level of generosity.

She's asking the money question boiled down.

You give her a number. She takes it in. Then give you one of two replies. But in reality it's infinite.
My last gave me xyz. Or she'll say the last 2 men she meet up with was offering xzy.

For some of you the urge is to give a snarky reply. Or give her a piece of your mind. Don't do it. She's expecting you to act pissy. It bolsters her fake position I'm about to talk about. Keep it adult.

Acting like an adult and not trying talk her into something works much than saying to her face, "everyone else usually take....". Shit don't work. Especially if she has just as much real world sugar dating experience as you.

90% of the time, there are no other suiters who offered her something. If there was one, he gave her the same amount you suggested. She is doing the very thing people on reddit hate to admit

No my friend, she's running the old negotiation game. People on reddit SWEAR they don't negotiate. Or hate that word. But this is not always Carmax. The negotiations are ongoing whether you want to participate or not. Just Don't negotiate against yourself.

If you decide to play along you better have an handle on what the range is in your area. Guys have talked about how to come to that range/median number. I'll let them chime in if they want to.

First, if she had better offers she would've taken them. Many sb's lean to the lazy side. They'll take the best situation in front of them and get off the app. They hate going to multiple meet and greets in a given week. If she had a good deal she would not be talking to you.

She's hoping you're dumb enough to play along with her. If she's cute enough you may even take her suggestion. She's rubbing your hand as she tells you how she's worth it. And it'll be good for both of you. She's offering you her ceiling that's probably higher than the area. Or, if we're being honest, she's not HOT ENOUGH to be even asking for that.

Stand firm. Am I saying "never" have wiggle room ? No. I am saying if she throws out $800ppm and you know damn well she's not in that category stick with your number. If she's $100 or so away from what you're comfortable with wiggle room wise, then keep talking. Because in my history the typical gap is 100-200 bucks. For my never negotiate maximalists, don't taze me bro !!

Chances are high you're the first guy she's met in person ever or in months. There are no "other" serious suitors most of time. Don't be nasty with it. Let her know this is where you stand. And it's ok if she wants to take some time to think about it.

If you're dialed in on the scene in your city you should have more who agree on sight. Or agree after thinking it over for a day. Versus those who flat out say no. Don't negotiate against yourself.

The general rule is to never sugar in desperation.
But shit, desperate times calls for desperate measures at times.
So who are "some" of the ladies who find themselves sugaring out of desperation ? How did they get there ?

Lord Destro has a video the perfectly sums up one the types who find themselves on the "apps".
I've run across a few variations of the once upon a time baddie model type.

She texts you, versus calling, and says she needs 80 bucks or her phone is about to get turned off.
She message you and says she short on some insurance bill. But you've only known her for less than 3 months. So you say no or ignore her.

2 days later she's on social media showing off new hairdo. New nails. At the bar with her girlfriends.
What emergency ??? 🥳 She vibing out.

For these sugarbabies, their emergency is not your emergency. She'll figure it out. She figured it out before you came on the scene.

You can ignore me and figure it out on your own. I certainly figured it out after realizing I don't have to always be big daddy and save the day. That real or imagined emergency seemed to work itself out.

This is a piggy back off the comments from Ulta cosmetic post in here a few days ago.

Some commentors said in a round about way, if certain conditions were met they would not have a problem with what that person tried to do. I'm of the same opinion. With my perspective and some examples.

The sb that spends more time doing soft work will get more out of me. And it's not sexual in nature.
Long phone calls. Thoughtful texts. Rando pictures.

Combine that with conversations before and after sex. I've had some who will do a little talk, get to the sex. Little talk and they gone. While others we'd just be laying in the bed shooting the shit about whatever. Guess which one I responded to quicker if she has request. There has been times when I "knew" it was a bullshit request. It wasn't an emergency. But the sex and companionship is so good I let the shit slide every now and again.

That don't happen with women who try to do this with me with a long spoon.

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The victim told Atlanta police that he met two women at the St. Regis Hotel in Buckhead. He said he took them back to his apartment down the road on E. Paces Ferry Rd. NE