u/Repulsive_Beyond_259

Imagine if hooters were actually good. Women aren’t the eye candy anymore, men are.

The waiters are men of all kinds of body types and tropes. Jocks, femboys, fat bastards, average men. The waiters would now wear g-strings so their special seasoning wouldn’t be block by unnecessary clothing. Some are wearing butt plugs cause they’re storing drinks in there, keeping it nice and warm by brewing the beverage with their farts. If you tip extra they let you suck on the butt plug, if you pay more they’re dump the drink straight into your mouth. Their gurgling asshole the perfect drink dispenser that farts with each serving.

I’d enjoy my wings, my glass of soda empty. Because of how thoughtful the service is here, a man with round belly approaches. He asks if I want I refill. I nod and he abruptly squats on the table, his large asshole is kept plugged by a bejeweled butt plug barely covered by the thing orange stripe of his g-string.

“Put your cup under, ma’am.”

And I’d obey. My glass is aimed under his flabby ass. My fingers reach for the metal heart shaped plug, I couldn’t help but push the thing. Causing the water to arch his back and moan.

“Tip extra if you wanna play with your food.”

Without saying a word, I pull out my wallet. Sliding him twenty bucks as I groped his ass with my free hand. He nestles into my touch as he slowly pushed the butt plug out of his ass, aiming for the inside of my cup.

The fat bastard smirked, as his eyes narrowed at me, “You paid for this, bitch.”

My breath hitched. Once the waiters are tipped, their masks com off and they’re the meanest men around.

With a lewd pop, I watch as his asshole briefly gaped wide open to free itself from the large plug. It could barely fit inside my glass. Then just as it quickly opened, it shut, not before oozing out some cola into my cup.

“I hate this fucking job. The soda stored in my bowels fuck up my farts,” he’d groan, his puffy donut of an asshole would finally flutter open as he pushed out a loud gurgled fart as brown cola oozed from his shitter into her cup, “Ngh… all that carbonation bubbling up there… you should pay me more, you sick cunt.”

I shakily hand him another twenty, causing him to laugh, “Disgusting.”

I don’t say a word as I watch his butt plug get doused in his ass soda, interspersed with brassy farts that speckled cola onto my lips. I licked it. So sweet…

“For your generosity, here, it’s on the house,” he’d grin, roughly grabbing my blonde hair before shoving my face directly into his ass. My lips sealed to his pucker as he pushed out all the carbonation the cola left in his bowels. My mind went blank as I sucked it in, it tasted so sweet and bubbly. I licked it like I needed it. He twerked and bouncing on my tongue, pushing my head against the vinyl booth as he ripped fart after fart.

“Oi! Get back to work,” The manager scolded the man on my mouth, “Table four wants a refill and need your ass NOW. I don’t pay you to fart around all day.”

With one last final juicy fart, as if a kiss good bye, your asshole puffed against my open mouth one last time before parting from my face.

“There. Happy now, pig?” He snorted, “Thanks for cleaning my ass. I needed it nice and shiny for the refill.”

I nod, panting as I watched him smugly swing his hips over my wings.

“Before I go. Let me give ya some extra seasoning,” he snickered, pushing out a scent similar to blue cheese, “What’s that? You want some more?”

“I didn’t say—“

He farted for another minute over my food.

He then hopped off the table and left to refill his ass. I sat there for a moment in awe. Then as I snapped out of the disgusting haze, I began to pig out on the wings and cola. The funky sour scent felt strangely compelling, like it was meant to taste like that. I found myself licking my fingers and lips when the meal was nothing but bones.

God. I need dessert.

I like toilet paper. Fart face. Butt plug. But I wanna know hidden gems for future stories I’ll write :3

I like to fantasize that I’m a house wife with a bi husband who loves to get dicked down. I’ll be at home waiting for my man to come back from work, desperate to see him. Only for you to come back hours later, sweaty, tired and full of another man’s cum. You called me hours earlier, I remember hearing you moan so casually as you said you’d be home late. The other man laughed as he said my husband would have a special gift for me when he’d get home.

“I made sure he’s stuffed,” said the man with a snicker, “Don’t bother with dinner— for you or for him.”

I parted my lips to ask what he meant by that, but the phone hung up suddenly. And like a good wife, I obeyed. I didn’t make dinner. I sat at the table and waited. And waited. And waited until midnight, where I lay in bed and imagine how my husband’s ass must be from taking that hung cock. If I were there now, I’d kiss it to make it feel better. And suck out whatever that bull pumped inside of you.

I’m about to go to sleep when I hear the bedroom door open. My husband’s home. Your neck littered in hickeys and your clothing disheveled.

I’d stare at you, knowing where’s you’ve been. Who you were with. And what was he doing to you.

“You didn’t pack my lactaid,” you would say coldly, your back facing me with the stiff cold posture I’ve grown used to. It was the same tone you spoke when you announced you would be cheating on me and there’s nothing I could do to stop it.

“Sorry. I forgot,” I muttered. It was hard to focus this morning when I watched you kiss one of your other lovers from the window.

“Say that to my asshole,” you groaned sarcastically, “I’ve been shitting up a storm. Do you know how hard anal was with Zack? I kept farting on his dick.”

I’d freeze up. The idea of you ripping a nasty fart on him like that made me weirdly wet. I could imagine the wet farts as Zack would cum deep inside your bowels.

“Really?” I’d ask watching you slide off your shirt.

“Don’t look so excited,” you’d cringe, “You’re disgusting. But lucky for you, it’s our anniversary. And I got you a gift.”

Tilting my head, I watched as you tugged off your jeans.

With a cunning grin, you slowly asked, “You know how you’ve always wanted a diamond ring?”

I nod, glancing at my crummy ring. The stones were cute, but you swore you’d get me the real thing once we were in a better place financially. I should’ve seen this coming! You were promoted recently! You were always working overtime when you weren’t cheating on me. Unless the overtime was cheating… but even so, a rings a ring!

“Oh baby! You shouldn’t have!” I squeal, imagining a big diamond on my hand. It’d almost make up for the amount of times you’ve made me prep your ass before anal sex with another man.

“Close your eyes…” You ordered playfully.

I lay against my pillow and shut my eyes. The bed squeaks as I feel you climb onto the mattress. I flutter my eyes open, excited to see a ring, only to see you squat over my face with a jewel buttplug embedded into your asshole. It was a bright purple, beautiful as it reflected the low lighting in the room.

“W-what?” I mustered out, “Where’s the ring?”

“Ring? What the fuck are you talking about?” You scoffed.

I slowly ask, “Zack said you’d have a gift for me?”

“Oh… that…” you trailed off, wiggling your buttplug against my nose, “well this IS your gift.”

“How?”

“It’s our anniversary month stone,” you replied mockingly as you arched your back, making sure to angle the buttplug right at my nose. You begin to push out the bejeweled purple plug out of your ass before sucking it back in.

“But you promised—“

“And I also promised you were the only one for me in my vows. Do you think I fucking care, toilet?”

I don’t say a word as I watch you toy with the plug for a minute. It’s hypnotizing to see how strong your assholes grip is.

“Toilet?” I’d repeat, “I’m your wife. Sure I love licking your ass, but I’m not some receptacle to dump—“

As I whine, you suddenly push out the plug out of your ass onto my face, causing a small amount of cum to dribble into my open mouth and the gem to hit my nose.

You snicker at my sudden pain and part your cheeks, making me look at your very clenched hole.

“Open wide, toilet. It’s time for your anniversary dinner since you’re such a good wifey,” you’d mock.

And I listened. Opening my mouth, I knew what was to come. Slowly, your shitter fluttered open, oozing out a nasty trail of stinky cum. They tasted and smelled like your bowels. Swallowing every drop, I don’t flinch when you begin to grunt.

“Fuck… don’t move, bitch. I ate so much dairy today at his place. This is gonna stink, and it’s all your fucking fault,” You rightfully tell me. I’d whine more as I lap at your gooey ass hole. You fart out the cum of your gay lover onto my tongue. I lick it all up, for good measure I press my lips fully against your taint and start sucking.

I don’t stop when you push fart after fart down my throat. All I want is you. Even if you’re gonna dirty up your asshole again with Zack or your other lovers. Was this why you married me? So your asshole could be clean for other men? Why does that make me so fucking wet?

I’m a cuckquean with a fart fetish who love sto be degraded. If anyone would love to roleplay a scenario where I’m cheated and farted on. HMU.

I never knew I'd be like this. A crack addict. Sadly, not of the drug variety.

"Come on, fart face! I don't have all day..." He sang, smacking his massive rump, causing it to ripple. I was silent as I watched it shake. I slid my hands upward against his doughy buns, kneading them like a baker.

"I told you not to call me that..." I whined, my voice a mere mutter before I trailed off. I'm too focused on his pillowy rump to care, but it's the principle of the action-- the disrespect. My fingers sank into his flesh as I separated his cheeks.

"What? It's accurate," He mocked, grinning as he watched my reaction.

I gazed at his puckered asshole, and it stared back, hovering inches over my face, and I could see every strand of thick, unruly hair embedded in his asscrack. His chocolate starfish winked at me, demanding that I kiss it. How could I deny such a delicacy?

I lean in, swiping my nose up his crack. I nearly sneeze from how his hair tickled my nostrils, "Ough... what did you eat?" I wince, my head still firmly buried in his cheeks. Although he hadn't farted yet, a potent stench emitted from down south, seeping silently from his shitter. My nose rubbed against that area to distinguish its origin. I took a long whiff, my eyes shut tight as I imagined him pigging out earlier in the day.

Beans? Meat? Dairy?

"Heh... That sketchy diner you hate," He grinned, licking his lips, "I ordered the Ultimate Spicy Bean Burrito-- with extra cheese, of course."

All three. Wow.

"Asshole," I muttered, knowing what was to come, my nose still nestled against his greasy balloon knot of an asshole.

"What?" He barked as his cheeky demeanor deteriorated, suddenly resting his large hand on my head and holding me in place. His fingers tangled in my hair.

I attempt to talk, but my lips only manage to sputter out muffled noises, his perfect booty serving as my muzzle.

"Hey, asswipe!" He sneered. I could hear his stomach gurgle, creaking like his bowels were working overtime. All the usual warmth in his tone was gone: "I don't like your attitude."

I roll my eyes and attempt to pull back, but he remains firm, shifting positions to ensure my nose serves as his buttplug. He further parts his hairy tree trunk thighs, wiggling his hips to slip my head further up his ass—more than he is himself—that bastard.

"Nnngh.... And I don't like yours either!" I spat, my insult damped by his balls that rested on my lips. They felt heavy. We hadn't had sex in a while... maybe that's why he was such a bitch.

He pressed his round stomach, rubbing it as if pressing out the brewing storm about to taint my nose.

"You need to quit being a cunt and learn to..." He trailed off, an evil smile on his face as he suddenly applied his entire heavy weight on my face, "... brown nose a little." He moaned as he pushed out a rank, spicy fart straight into my nose. Shifting his hips side to side, to further nestle his donut in place.

"Hnngh..." He groaned, feeling his hot air slowly make its way through his system. His cock hardened as he felt his gas reach his wrinkled, stinking rim, right where my nose was. He held it for a moment, savoring how my hot breath hit his balls and the look of anticipation on my face. It was a mix of bitchy, bratty arousal and a twinge of disgust. Just how he liked it.

"Take a deep breath," He ordered, spreading his thighs wider to make his hole gape a little more. I could barely hear him. The lack of air was too much. I couldn't breathe.

Air. I need fresh air.

It was like he heard my desperate thoughts when he suddenly let his hot, stinky air rip into my nose. Suddenly, I feel like I'm in the diner with him. Watching him devour that stupid burrito, watching him douse the thing in sour cream and hot sauce. I take a deep, desperate whiff. I can smell the black coffee he had on the way here and neglected to tell me.

God. I bet his guts are churning like crazy in there.

Parting my lips, I gasp desperately for something that didn't stink of beans. But just as quickly as I opened my mouth, it was suddenly shut. Within moments, he popped his asshole from my nose and firmly planted his ass onto my open mouth.

Ugh. He's so fucking impatient.

"Not yet, fart face. I need my hole clean before I take a dump," He ordered, lazily jerking his cock.

My tongue finds itself mindlessly lapping at his sweaty hole. He moans and groans in pleasure as he arches his back.

You're lucky I'm into this...

"I can feel you smirking down there," He huffed as his stomach growled, "Keep being smug, and I'll do something worse than farting, bitch."

I only suck his asshole in response, tightly sealing my lips to his hairy pucker. My tongue is fluttering in and out of his rank asshole, like I'm trying to tease him, as if I want him to snap.

"I work all damn day," He complained, swaying his wide hips, "And my stupid toilet is busted with a bitchy attitude."

I nod in agreement as I flutter my tongue in and out of his shitter each time he graces my mouth with a fart.

"I outta stick my punger in ya," He grumbled as he felt himself about to cum. The heat in his groin felt like he was about to come undone. He was so close. So so so close.

"F-fuck... ngh... fuck i-it's coming..." He groaned, rubbing his stomach.

I suck harder, hard enough to make him get up.

"T-that's enough," He yelped, pulling his asshole from my mouth. I pant as I watch the trail of saliva connecting my lips to his shitter split as the distance began to grow. He clenches his hairy hole as he begrudingly waddles to the bathroom.

Haha. Sucker... didn't get to cum.

I lick my lips as I watch him slam the door shut. It was a solid ten minutes before I heard the toilet flush. And when I did, I knew I had to get back to work.

Especially when he opened the door and looked at me like it was my fault somehow. Which it was, I did tell him to eat the greasiest and spiciest crap he could find. Maybe I should kiss his hole to make it feel better? The poor thing must be burning at this point...

Asshole and shitter already gets me so wet. But using terms like donut and log cutter makes me drool in the grossest sexiest way possible.

My DMs are very open for discussion by the way. I wouldn’t mind a healthy, heated, and refreshing conversation about my favorite topic ever. I need more vocabulary to add into my roleplay sessions and pucker isn’t cutting it anymore.