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Hello. Recently I’ve run into a problem that I haven’t been able to resolve through usual means. I’m in a D/s relationship that’s been going on for quite a while. It’s not very stable at the moment, partly because we’re not living together and my sub is very anxious. There are a lot of triggers and patterns involved, including guilt patterns, fear of rejection, and so on. At the same time, I know she feels a strong pull toward me.
So here’s the situation. Recently, during a scene, something happened that triggered one of her issues, and now she’s shut down sexually with me. The attraction is still there — we start a scene, but at some point, despite wanting it, she asks to stop. Right now, we’ve scaled things back to just warm, non-sexual interaction.
That said, this is affecting me. I find myself feeling hurt and starting to doubt my authority. It’s also worth mentioning that I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and not feeling my best, and this situation is throwing me off balance even more.
Has anyone dealt with something similar and can offer advice on how to get through this crisis and help a sub work through these blocks?