u/Sad-Village-6467

M28.. been together 6 months, she (F28) has always told me she can finish 4 different ways… oral, hands, her on top and in missionary in a certain way.. I’ve managed 3/4 ways. I haven’t managed missionary yet for whatever reason which is bothering me, I do prefer missionary in and out as well anyway and I don’t see why the whole thing has to be just about her pleasure anyway when grinding doesn’t really do anything for me.

She’s made occasional comments in the past like “you can only make me finish when I’m in control” and has told me her ex could make her finish in missionary etc. bare in mind they were together for years… plenty of time to figure things out, could have only managed that for the last couple years for all we know???

But basically she’s making me feel like shit. So when I’ve tried to make her finish in missionary she’s like “always trying to make me cum in that position, if it happens it happens stop trying to force it etc” but then makes those other comments and essentially belittles me. Sex is now not enjoyable for me, become like a test, feel analysed and can’t perform how I normally would anyway… it’s also gone from the first two months being 4 times a week to once a week, 2 at a push. Dunno how to get over this because I feel like less of a man, and the infrequency is making me not last as long as I normally would as well which is also making the sex probably not as good as it would be because there’s less time to explore things etc.

Advice please. I have half a mind to end things because I’ve had plenty of partners before, never a complaint, and not saying I’m amazing but never been spoken to like this before….Especially hard when I love her very much, like properly love her a lot… but this is making me unhappy

When I (M27) first got with my girlfriend (F25) a few months ago I was so nervous because I liked her so much that I had a few episodes of struggling to keep an erection. I started taking Cialis to calm the anxiety and it worked great, sex has been great for months and added benefit of going multiple rounds easily if we wanted. We’re so into each other, and I’m soooo attracted to her but always still had to work a bit to finish though if that makes sense…

Now suddenly over the past 3 times we’ve had sex I’ve gone the complete opposite way and can barely last a couple of minutes. I feel constantly on edge and aroused around her and have had to pause multiple times during sex which kills the mood. I’ve even tried masturbating a few hours beforehand and it hasn’t helped. Still taking the cialis though even though it’s not really necessary have been fine without it.. is that potentially making me more aroused?? Slightly worried that if I stop though second rounds would be harder if I did finish quick….but I wonder if it’s increasing sensitivity…

I’ve never really had PE issues before apart from the odd time when very wound up before sex. Now I feel hypersensitive all the time and don’t understand what’s changed. Not sure if it’s anxiety, over-arousal, the Cialis, or what…. How can I reset everything, gone from one extreme to the other?

I’m (M27) struggling badly with insecurity around sex in my relationship and I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is something other people deal with too.

We love each other very much but my girlfriend (F25) is very open and has told me a lot about what makes her finish and what worked with past partners. She can orgasm with me in cowgirl every time, and nearly with hands but it’s a struggle keeping in the right spot because she gets so, so wet.. I can’t seem to make her finish in missionary. She mentioned a previous boyfriend could, and ever since hearing that it’s driving me mad.

The problem is now sex feels like a test instead of something enjoyable. Every time we do it I’m analysing whether she’ll finish, whether I’m doing enough, whether I’m less of a man because I can’t make it happen in that position. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want sex anymore because I feel like I’m failing.

And she is a wind up and joker and will sometimes say “oh yeah you can make me cum when I’m in control” which makes me feel even more pathetic even if meant as a joke… I’ve always cared more about my partners cumming than me cumming..

Logically I know she does enjoy sex with me and she does finish with me, but in my illogical head cowgirl doesn’t count since she’s grinding on me instead of me actively making it happen…..

I’ve never felt this insecure in a relationship before and it’s honestly messing with my self-worth badly. How can I stop thinking about this??