u/SeaTurtles4

Dear community,

The mod team has spent enough time playing everyone’s least favorite game: Is this a genuine post or just another R4R/explicit content drop wearing a fake mustache?

Spoiler: we’re frustrated 😖

This sub has rules for a reason, and the flood of posts that belong elsewhere is making it harder for us to create good content.

Effective immediately:

First-time offenders: enjoy a 100-day vacation from the sub (i.e. banned temporarily)

Repeat offenders: you’ll be getting the permanent VIP exit pass (i.e banned forever).

There are plenty of other subs designed for R4R and adult content. This one isn’t it.

Help us keep the community for meaningful conversations about being adulterous desis.

Thank you 🙏🏽

Hi all,

We mods have noticed an uptick in R4R and explicit content which is not allowed on this sub. I’ve begun permanently banning repeat offenders.

For those of you following the rules—thank you!! 🙏

Please keep flagging inappropriate posts.

We could discover a cure for cancer, and still, still someone in the extended family WhatsApp group will point to a party we went to or a dress we wore and say “beta… log kya kahenge?” (Child..what will people say).

Who are these people? Do they pay rent in our heads or are they just squatting there indefinitely?

From what I can tell, “log” (people) are an omnipresent surveillance state made up of:

•Our mom’s friend who peaked in 1997

•That one uncle who failed at everything but critiques everyone

•Random relatives we met once at a wedding when we were six but are still expected to remember 

•Our parents’ imagination on steroids

And yet… these fictional critics dictate everything:

Career: “Wanted to be an artist but log kya kahenge, so am an engineer with depression.

Marriage: Didn’t want to get married lbut log kya kahenge if I say no?

Divorce: we’d rather suffer quietly than give the neighborhood something to gossip about.

Mental health: Therapy? No, no, we have repression and hypertension.

Ok “Log” are not just random aunties and uncles. The also include:

•Our parents

•Our immediate family

•The relatives we actually see on holidays

•The randos who show up at parties 

So they are real and they talk.

But here’s the uncomfortable reality: even the “real” log don’t actually live our day-to-day life.

They’re not there when:

•we wake up dreading our job

•we’re stuck in a marriage we never wanted

•we’re quietly burning out trying to meet expectations we didn’t choose

They drop in, deliver judgment, then go back to their own lives. Meanwhile, we’re the one living the consequences full-time.

What really sucks is “Log kya kahenge” is a built-in operating system. We don’t even need the aunties present. We carry them in our heads like a judgmental committee that never adjourns.

And the irony is almost elegant:

The log (people) we’re suffering for? They’re pretending for their log. Everyone’s just passing down fear like it’s family jewelry.

A generational relay race of “don’t embarrass us.”

So why do we continue like this? Why do we stay in unhealthy marriages and hide behind affairs? (Aside from kid and financial reasons).

And the worst part?

Even after all that suffering …

Log (people) will still find something to say.