I think I scared off my boyfriend to it...
(Btw we are both virgins for context, as this is both of us's first relationship... very shy quiet people. We only masturbate together but havent done anything else yet)
So, my boyfriend and I have a very equal relationship in dynamic and roles, we are just like best friends honestly, there is no power imbalance at all. I feel so comfortable and I can tell that he does too with how much he opens up and we can be gross and silly together
Because of this dynamic, in like more intimate moments I can very easily be the one in the lead or be more controlling and in fact get him in a totally submissive state
Which is shocking for both of us, I always knew I was more dominant and enjoy it, but we didn't expect that he would submit so much so easily especially as he never thought of being submissive before
We love it and he asks for me to be the one in the lead a lot, but because he is new to it, I am very gentle and nurturing as opposed to agressive
But last night when we were just talking about sex casually I guess we somehow were talking about if I wanted to top him, as in, me penetrating him, and I lit up so obviously
He explicitly says no to strap-ons which I am glad because I wasn't thinking of that anyway, but maybe tmi, i am a girl, but i was born intersex and was born with a very very very large clitoris that basically acts as a small penis, and he likes it a lot, so i was hoping maybe i could try on him some things
He was really into it a lot until i asked about putting a finger inside him he got a lot bit nervous and said he is too scared because my fingers would be so much and that he is worried about it feeling like hes less of a man if he takes it
And i reassured him but felt really embarrassed i opened up about wanting to try penetration in that way
I feel like its a closed case, maybe i spoke about it too soon? He is very new to being submissive anyway
Is there any hope to eventually ask about or explore it or did i totally scare him off
I dont mind if we never do it at ALL
But id really like to
I reassured him so much that i will NEVER do anything he doesnt want me to do and i will always be gentle and careful and ask his consent no matter what, I love him and what hes comfortable with more than any fantasy I have
Was anyone else in the same situation of introducing the idea of penetration (or something else) to your partner and like felt like you did too much too soon as femdom is a new concept in your relationship? Going slow has been best for us to explore what we are comfortable with and so far he is loving it but he seems a bit nervous or scared of the idea of penetration although he said "he is really open to it" and i would be the only one he would want to explore that with because he trusts me and feels safe to be vulnerable
Help! to a noob