u/SexToyDB

Full review on our blog!

This is a condensed version of my full Cowgirl Unicorn review with pictures on my blog. There's also a video review to be found on our PH channel "tigerlilytoys", but I can't link that direct here.

The Cowgirl is one of those sex toys you aspire to own for years. It sits on your bucket list, priced just high enough that you keep going back and forth on whether to splurge. You’ll put it in your basket, back out, subscribe to the mailing list, and eventually a sale comes along and your dreams come true. I’m happy to report: it’s everything I hoped it would be.

The Cowgirl is a saddle-style vibrating and rotating sex machine in the style of the original Sybian. It has two powerful motors: one drives vibration, and the other twirls a dildo around. The twirling part is optional, and both functions are independently controlled, so you can ride it with or without vibration, with or without swivel, or swap to a grinding pad if you’d rather not use an insertable. That’s basically the premise, but the appeal here is the looks, comfort, raw power, body-safe silicone attachments, and app control.

The Unicorn Edition is almost identical to the regular Cowgirl apart from the styling. The original is black; the Unicorn is creamy white with rainbow trim, sparkly attachments, a circular non-slip mat, and a cute rainbow tail that doubles as a flogger. Build quality is solid as fuck. It’s heavy, rated up to 181kg / 400lb, and feels more like a piece of furniture than a sex toy. The faux leather saddle feels lush, and unlike some competitors, it actually looks like a saddle rather than an oil drum cut in half.

The Unicorn comes with two attachments: the Uni Horn insertable and the Magic Hide grinding pad. The Uni Horn is actually quite modest in size, which makes it a good starter. If you want something bigger later, the good news is that the Cowgirl uses a standardized attachment system compatible with Sybian-style attachments, so there’s plenty more out there to explore. My only complaint is that the knobbly texture on the attachments is a bit of an arse to clean.

Performance-wise, it’s a beast. Vibration and swivel are both powerful, each can be controlled separately, and you get a choice of bars for a stiffer or softer swivel feel. You’re somewhat limited in positions you can use because this is a heavy ride-on machine rather than a thrusting machine you can mount any which way; but you can sit upright, lean back, lean forward, or grind back and forth. It’s also remarkably indiscriminate and can work for all genders, as well as offering some fun play styles for couples - I'll explore these in a separate post later.

There is an app, though it’s a little disappointing in that it mostly just duplicates the wired remote. The Cowgirl also works with FeelMe for remote control and synced content, but in either case there is noticeable delay when ramping up and down. That feels more like a limitation of the size and mechanics than a real criticism, because a motor this large simply isn’t going to respond instantly.

The biggest downside is noise. The Cowgirl is loud. Proper power-tool loud; Apple Watch topped out at 80dB, which is just on the cusp of dangerous for prolonged use (not that you'll last long enough on that speed for it to be damaging). Unlike a thrusting fuck machine like a Hismith, there’s no hiding it with the TV on, and unless you have the whole house to yourself, somebody is going to know what’s going on. Again, that isn’t really a criticism of the Cowgirl specifically, because any large Sybian-style machine is going to be the same, but it does make it impractical for a lot of people.

That said, I love everything about the Unicorn. It’s visually stunning, absurdly powerful, expandable, and just brilliant to use whether you prefer grinding, riding, or edging someone into oblivion. Right now the Unicorn Edition is around $699, while the regular Cowgirl is $1450, and at that sale price I genuinely think it’s one of the best-value premium ride-on machines around. My recommendations don’t get much higher than this.