Im in the middle of a bad anxiety spiral. So I have this kink that I really only figured out a month ago. And tbh it’s a scat/toilet slave kink. And it’s been mentally torturing me. I’m horrified that it’s gonna become something I need to get off. I’m really worried it will become something that I can’t be sexually satisfied with. And there’s a subreddit on this kink (r/coprophiles), and everyone there claims that it’s never gonna go away. And if you try and suppress it, you’ll just be miserable. Basically they say you should embrace it but I really don’t wanna. I wish I didn’t have it to begin with, and am disgusted with myself. I never wanna try it irl, but I’m afraid that I will lose control or get to a point where I do. So far I’ve only ever watched porn of it. But even that disgusts me and I fear it’s leading me down a path
I should add that I am kink friendly. I have discovered kinks like pegging before, and even though it was kinda weird in the begging I ended up adding it to my sexlife. However pegging isn’t unsafe or gross, just kinda out there to some. This scat kink is different (at least to me). So it’s not like I don’t think kinks should be explored or whatever, but maybe ones that are causing me this much distress should
It’s nothing illegal or immoral. But it is something that’s incompatible with health and hygiene. And it’s just genuinely repulsive to most people, I hate that I’m into it. I believe there are some kinks that should be suppressed, and this is one of them. In my mind and logically I know it’s not a good kink, even if it’s not immoral. But it’s gross and has its own set of problems and I feel so disgusted for being into it. Maybe I’m just mentally sick