This is part of a series of micro-stories about a fictional scenario where the UK implements a circumcision program for men.

I'm thinking I will make one more part after this one with a couple remaining ideas. Open to suggestions!

This is Part 3 and covers Chapters 7 to 8.

Part 1 - Part 2 - [Part 3]

DISCLAIMERS

This story is entirely fictional. 
It does not reflect the author's views, and is not 
intended to represent real people or organisations. 
No AI was used in the writing of this story.

CW: (CW: MM, MF, very soft description of 
circumcision operation)

CHAPTER 7: DAVE & ELLIE

Dave is lying against the wall by his bed, idly browsing true crime stories on Reddit. Ellie is sat cross legged against the headboard she bought for him, because she kept knocking her head. The room around them is spartan cream walls, the only décor a small spider plant on the IKEA desk.

Ellie taps away at her laptop, and hums. Dave doesn't respond, comatose.

"You know, this sexual health drive the government is doing is interesting." Ellie raises.

"Mhm." Dave replies, not taking the bait.

"The Gov website says men who get circumcised get a bonus, some kind of grant"

That garners a raised eyebrow, Dave looking back at her, still silent.

"At least £1,000, and a reduction in your student loan."

This time, Dave shrugs. "Could use that."

"Yeah, babe" she replies. "Could get that PowerDeck you wanted. Or maybe make this place a little nicer. Or… take me somewhere really nice."

Dave chuckles, and leans back onto the bed, next to Ellie's legs. She starts stroking his wavy brown hair.

"I don't know, though. Seems like effort. And I thought you liked it?" Dave asks.

She smiles, and looks into his eyes. "I do, babe. Like, yeah, I do. But like, you've always had issues pulling it back. We have to go slow so you don't tear it sometimes. And they say it's apparently really quick and easy, even the recovery."

Dave huffs. "I guess."

"Just seems like a no-brainer to me."

She stops for a moment, and the two sit quietly for a bit, Ellie occasionally typing away. She's the one to break the silence.

"How about I book it, we go together and if you're not feeling it on the day, we cancel?"

Dave exhales, clearly not wanting to think about it too much.

"Yeah, sure."

Ellie perks up a little, and navigates to the registration tab she had pinned. And bookmarked.

"They have… a slot at two PM on Thursday 12? That's about two weeks from now."

Dave looks back, and at the screen for a moment. There's the faintest spark of consideration, of doubt.

"Sounds good to me. Nothing on then anyway."

Ellie clicks the button and kisses Dave on his forehead.

"I'll go look for deals on a PowerDeck."

CHAPTER 8: HARRY

The words come slow and painfully, three hours into the session. One white page, half-filled, with no clue how to write the rest. Harry feels like his brain is blocked up. By this point, he's tried everything. Going for a walk just gave him more to think about. Speaking with his flatmate lost him an hour. Trying the pomodoro method was an excuse to fuck around twice as long as writing. He taps away a few words, then deletes them.

This time towards the end of each semester was always like this for Harry. A painful, grinding experience, trying to write thousands of words with a looming deadline and a world full of distractions. Coffee only seems to make things worse, and his usual place to buckle down and focus, the uni library, is currently filled with people who had the exact same idea as him.

He leans back in his desk chair, hands toying with the adjustable armrests emblazoned with the garish red gaming logo that meant he landed it cheap. There was one thing that always worked. In his first three years, it was his saviour. Ever-reliable, the silver bullet for procrastination. He'd turn on his laptop, and open his assignment. Then he'd get into his bed, turn off the lights, and start wanking furiously. On a good day, he could finish in two minutes flat, and it never took longer than five.

It would give him a huge rush of endorphins, enough to focus him and give him a solid ten minutes of iron focus to write in, which would usually give him enough momentum to continue working for an hour or two, after which he could just rinse and repeat. A little unorthodox as productivity hacks go, but it worked.

But Harry hasn't tried this since his Masters began. Not since he signed up for his Sexual Health Grant and got circumcised. Wanking now is a full ordeal, just as much of an investment of thought and energy as writing. When he was uncut, he knew exactly what pleasure points to target in his cock, and the glide of his skin made it so easy to just jackhammer away until he felt the pressure build. Now he's lucky if he can finish in thirty minutes. It's thrown off his whole approach, and this is the latest he's left an assignment, with only two days remaining to write five thousand words.

He looks down at his crotch, his telltale head visible even through the pyjama bottoms.

Worth a try.

Harry gets up and moves to his bed, leaving his PJs in a heap on the floor along with his white briefs. He turns off the blinding high-temperature room light, and taps his bedside lamp, bathing the room in orange light. It's about as close to mood lighting as he can afford.

It's not long before he's rock hard, and his impressive mushroom head rises seven inches from his crotch. His cock is fairly girthy, but pales in comparison to his glans, which is about the size of a tangerine, but far more rough and dry. The recovery pamphlet said to use oils and creams to keep the head moisturised so it didn't dry out and keratinise, but those all irritated him, so he was like this. Further down, there is a thick brown scar, about 2mm wide and dead straight. By now, maybe half of guys his age have one just like it, placed with mathematical precision about 10mm beneath his head. Veins on the surface of his shaft pulse in anticipation.

He reaches into his end table, to find his only bottle of lube empty but for a few dregs.

Fuck, he thinks. Harry hasn't been able to wank dry since his op. Apparently some guys have it easier or loose enough that they don't need it, and others find a way, but he isn't one of them.

Harry spits into his palm, and begins working his head. After he got cut, it took him a couple months to work out how to get off with his new penis, and palming his head with one hand like he is polishing it whilst holding the base with his thumb and index finger seemed to work well.

Except it was a painfully slow burn, taking him twenty minutes to feel any pleasure. It was more intense in the end, but it took so much effort that he stopped jerking off daily, which is impressive, given he was a prolific gooner before.

Regardless, he tugs and palms away, always conscious that with each passing minute, his energy to write is waning, and the deadline creeps ever closer. It's enough to sap some of the pleasure from it. Worse, without any real lube, progress is even slower.

Five minutes pass. Then ten. Then a full-half hour.

By now, Harry is grunting, hand pushing harder into his aching cock, willing it desperately to shoot, to give him the release he needs to finish his assignment. He can feel the pleasure building by now, a low heat, but it still feels so far away. He moans, and it sounds less like enjoyment than like frustration.

"Fuuuuuuck… COME ON!"

A full hour wasted on this, and he finally feels it. He knows it's cumming, and he pushes harder with the finish line in sight, twisting his hand around his engorged glans at speed, spitting into it often to keep it lubed.

His journey to orgasm had been a fight, plodding along for an age trying to work himself to orgasm. It was hard fought, but when it came, it was incredible. When he was uncut, Harry was a silent cummer, never one to moan or even groan when he finished. But as his climax shakes his circumcised cock now, his whole body reacts to the fireworks. He arches his back up, so much so that he bumps his head into the wood behind him, but it's not enough to distract. His legs tense, his toes curl, and his balls pull up either side of his shaft.

"AAH! F- SHIIIT!" he cries, not caring if his flatmates hear.

Cum launches from his roughened head, splurting string after string of cum onto Harry, onto the bed, onto the wall, despite his feeble attempts to move his torso to catch it.

He feels comatose, like he's on another plane of existence for what feels like an age.

Thirty seconds pass before he even lowers himself onto the bed, and two minutes before he gets up and cleans himself off. Harry sighs, contented, and makes his way over to the glowing rectangle on his desk, dressed only in his briefs.

The next three thousand words came easy.   

This is part of a series of micro-stories about a fictional scenario where the UK implements a circumcision program for men.

I've tried to make it somewhat believable (as in, not complete kink bait), but obviously it's still very kinky.

This is Part 2 and covers Chapters 4 to 6.

Part 1 - [Part 2]

DISCLAIMERS

This story is entirely fictional. 
It does not reflect the author's views, and is not 
intended to represent real people or organisations. 
No AI was used in the writing of this story.

CW: (CW: MM, MF, very soft description of 
circumcision operation)

CHAPTER 4: OLIVIA & ADITYA

The two are a sweaty blur. Skin against skin, slapping together, the bed creaking beneath them. Aditya's butt flexes with each thrust, his defined glutes and thighs pistoning his eager cock inside his girlfriend.

"Yes… a bit higher. Angle- angle up!" Olivia cries. "Put your finger-" She grabs Aditya's hand and moves it to her clit. "Now… there. Just work it… that's… yes!" Aditya follows her instructions, struggling for a moment to coordinate his legs and his hand and not accidentally push too hard into his girlfriend.

This is his first time in over a month, her idea. A while back, Olivia got into reading about ways to maximise male libido and semen count, and Aditya became her guinea pig. So he's incredibly pent up, and in the summer heat, more than a bit delirious. But they're both having a great time.

They're thrusting, groaning, moaning for a few minutes more before Aditya feels the signs. His balls, usually heavy and low hanging, tighten up, a rough mound of ruffled skin and hair beneath his proud cock. His taint starts to throb.

"I'm close." he just barely gets out.

Olivia puts her hands around his shoulders and pulls him close, trembling herself, on the verge of her own orgasm.

"I love you Adi! Fuck, don't stop!" She cries out.

"Beck- Liv! I'm gonna… I mean- fuck, I'm cumming!"

Muscles tense. The room fills with groans and the kind of noises humans made in the shrubs long before they worked out how to grow corn. Aditya's sack is taut against his undercarriage. The full line of his manhood, a shaft running from his wet cockhead through his balls, his taint and onto his puckered hole throbs, dark with blood and primal need. His legs are firm, digging into the mattress like he's in a game of tug-o-war, but pushing instead of pulling, pushing Olivia hard into the headboard as he pulse- pulse- pulses his seed into her.

Meanwhile, she moans as she experiences her own orgasm, shuddering intensely as the pleasure ripples out through her form.

Then, he gradually falls limp, and the two fall into each other. For a while, there is silence. The pleasant afterglow of a good roll in the hay. Then Olivia speaks up.

"You called me her name."

Aditya sits up, already feeling the gravity of the statement.

"It just slipped out, I didn't mean it."

Olivia isn't having it. "Didn't mean it? Why was she the first person you thought of when you were about to cum? You're always slinking off to see your friends. Is she there too? Is this why whenever I want to arrange something-"

"Please can we not-"

"-you have to run it by your calendar. Like your time matters more than mine. And now this."

Aditya tries to defend "Liv, please. I love you, I didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out."

Olivia begins to cry a little. "You… you know how this makes me feel. I think of how if we ever… if we ever broke up, I know for a fact you wouldn't accidentally blurt out my name. I just-"

Aditya puts his hand on her cheek. "Babe, you know that's not true, you're the only one I've ever actually cared about."

He leans back, kneeling, back straight. He takes a deep breath.

"What can I do to make it up to you? I hate seeing you so upset."

Liv cries for a little longer, and pushes herself straight against the headboard. "I just- I need to know that I'm not just another girl. That you'd do something lasting with me."

Aditya's mind turns to their discussion over breakfast last week. Buying a house together, raising a family. Images of him turning forty in the blink of an eye, encased in oxford shirts and gilets day-in, day-out flash through his head. No, not that. His mind races.

"The uh- circumcision thing. The grant thing. We spoke about it but I didn't take it seriously. I'm sensitive about it but… for you, I'd do it."

Olivia's face lights up, tears melting away. "You would?"

Aditya's now softened penis is covered by a long, loose foreskin drooping at least an inch past the head.

Aditya speaks without thinking. "Done. I'll do it. For you."

Olivia takes his hand, and squeezes.

"I love you."

CHAPTER 5: TOUR

I'm Gemma Denby, reporting from one of the NHS' new regional 'circumcision hubs', here in Leicester. These have been set up over the last year as part of the government's drive to reduce RHPV infection rates via a voluntary circumcision program for men, aged between 21 and 25. Independent studies suggest this could reduce infection rates by as much as 50%, combined with other measures, and we're here to take a closer look inside, and find out just how it works.

The buildings themselves are a mix of pre-fab sheds on hospital grounds, and repurposed sports halls on five-year leases, like this one. There are around 16 of these now open across England and Wales, with a further four due in coming months. In order to maximise accessibility and reduce friction, the Ministry of Health has prioritised sites close to transport links, and within decent range of local universities. This particular hub has a bus stop… just across the road.

After booking online or via the phone, men receive a ticket with a QR code via email. They scan this at a small reception desk operated by non-clinical staff at the front of the building, and provide their NHS number. From here, they are seated at a waiting area in the hall itself, marked out with panel carpets and simple crowd barriers.

Over there, you can see a TV stand that displays ticket numbers, not unlike what you see in fast food restaurants. This is a quick and easy way for the nurses to keep patients flowing, and they manage a rate of around 30 operations per hour.

Once their ticket is called, men are escorted by a nurse to their assigned stall. The nurse explains the process to each patient, has them strip their trousers, and performs a quick medical check for any anomalies that could affect the operation.

Now, here is the interesting part. The stall has no operating table, or even a bed. There are only three doctors on site, for consulting and emergencies. Each stall has a padded examination stool, a small supply cabinet, and a new device known as an 'AZSRM', or 'Auto-ciser'. These were originally developed in China, seeing extensive use there. Now, the Ministry of Health has secured 300 for the NHS, in contract with DenxiMedica.

The way it works is this. The patient inserts their penis into the machine, which secures it in place with a soft plastic sheath. Disinfectant and local anaesthetic is applied via spray and a series of microneedle patches - which I am told are completely painless. A clamp and a series of prongs then hook over their foreskin, assisted by an internal AI which flags errors in positioning. When everything is in place, the duty nurse will check that the clamp is properly applied, and closes up the machine.

The actual circumcision takes only a minute or two, as a laser removes the foreskin. Previously, staples or even dissolvable stitches were needed to finish the process, but the rollout of generic ExoFoam by the NHS means this these methods are now redundant. The pink foam is sprayed over the patient's penis, serving both to seal up the wound, and speed up healing. It takes around five minutes to set, after which the patient may step out of the AZSRM. During this time, the nurse is busy preparing another patient.

As you can see, due to this modern approach, there is not even a recovery area. Men who have completed their operation are given a quick check-over by a nurse, asked a few questions about their experience, and sent an email with their grant details for completing their operation. From there, they just leave out the same way they came in. We even saw one man earlier going straight into the pub the next building over.

I spoke to some of the staff and patients here for their take.

John, Nurse

"A lot of men come in here thinking that it will be this big, drawn out, painful process, but it really isn't. Technology has advanced a lot in the last ten years, and it's easier and more painless now than getting your teeth done. There couldn't be a better time to get it done."

Oscar, Masters Student (24)

"I was originally really against it, but I had a few friends who got cut before me and they explained how quick and simple it was, and how the recovery really wasn't that bad. So I just, just went and did it. And uhh, yeah. I don't regret it. It's free money, too, haha."

Aditya, Fourth Year Student (22)

"So my girlfriend kinda forced me to come- haha, just kidding. She'll kill me for saying that. But yeah she really encouraged it, and I thought yeah I'm doing my part and all, but I was really bricking it when I arrived. Then the nurses were really friendly and understanding and yeah, uhh… I actually didn't even notice when it had been done. It was over so fast, and you don't really feel anything. I'm glad it's done, yeah. And my girlfriend is, too."

Dr. Morris, Supervising Urologist

"With advances in tech, and the amount of funding the government is providing, this is really the first time we've been able to attempt anything on this scale. And it is my hope that the success of this programme will encourage additional funding to extend it to a wider age range, so more men can benefit.

After spending the afternoon here, it's clear the government is pushing to make circumcision as accessible and easy as possible for men as part of their sexual health drive. If you are a man, aged between 21 and 25, then you're eligible for a spot. Speak with your GP, call or sign up via the details below.

Thank you. Clyde in the studio, back to you.

CHAPTER 6: THREAD

Posted by MedEthel23 on C (formerly Worble)
23 June 2034

The new circumcision drive in the UK is classist and unfairly discriminates based on economic background. It's not just the grants. A thread 🧵(1/X)

The UK government started a new drive this year in response to exploding rates of RHPV in the country. Part of this was a campaign for uni-age guys to get circumcised. Men were offered a one-time cash sum and a major reduction in student loans if they got it done.  (2/X)

Publicly, the government has said this cost them about £2 billion, but other sources like ThunkBank report a price closer to £3.5 billion. A lot of guys on here have come out and said how much this has helped them, and how it was an easy choice to make, but if you look deeper, this is really insidious (3/X)

This grant creates a situation where men from a working class background are basically forced by their financial situation to get cut to secure this grant. £2K is a lot of money when you're at uni, especially when you don't have mum and dad to back you up. This is a huge amount of money that could be better spent improving sexual health services in the North and Midlands, where they are most in need. (4/X)

Men from wealthier backgrounds also have the advantage of going private if they do want to get it done, since the price can be anywhere between £900 and £2000, depending on provider. Outcomes are generally better, and they usually have a better recovery experience, because they don't need to be working (5/X)

But this isn't even the most shocking part. The NHS use machines called AZSRMs at the circumcision centers. These are largely automated and are what have made this program even possible. ThunkBank say these cost the government almost £100 million to procure, but they reportedly work very well and simplify the process of getting cut for men (6/X)

However, the NHS actually have two different models of AZSRM. Type 2 and Type 3. Type 2 is the standard model. It's been in circulation for a while now, and they're generally much cheaper than Type 3, which the parent company DenxiMedical released last year, and have been trying to push since. (7/X)

The main difference is, the Type 2 model can only circumcise in a single style. Men who have gotten it done say it is generally very tight, and leaves them with next to no skin movement, to the extent they feel discomfort and tightness when they have an erection. Some have even reported a loss of length. The frenulum is also always removed by the Type 2 model. (8/X)

The Type 3, on the other hand, for its increased cost (placed at around £500,000 per unit, I know, absurd), offers the user a choice of tightness and style via a control panel at the top of the machine. Men who have gotten cut using this model report much better outcomes, and obviously prefer having a say in how they are circumcised. (9/X)

These guys also report a less painful process overall. The older model uses needles to apply anaesthetic, and a few men have reported that the sleeve that is used to clamp their foreskin is quite rough and imprecise. (10/X)

What's more, the NHS has not rolled out these machines evenly. I've spoken to a wide range of men who have got this done at all 18 centers open currently, and only ones in wealthy, southern areas have access to the Type 3 model machines. (11/X)

The level of contempt shown by the government in this program is incredible. We need clear action taken to show they are serious about this campaign (already controversial for other reasons) is carried out fairly, and considers factors like class and race in its decision-making. Really disappointing stuff. (12/X)

UPDATE: So, the NHS seem to have responded to some of these criticisms. Maybe after Politimes covered it? As expected, it's a half-hearted outcome. They haven't redistributed the new machines, but they have turned off the style selection panel. So now every guy gets the same awful style. (13/X)

This is not what I meant by fair - this just worsens outcomes for those who could access the new machines. And there has been no word from the Ministry of Health about the grants. This is just an all-around hack job. Do better, MinistryofHealth (14/14)

This is part of a series of micro-stories about a fictional scenario where the UK implements a circumcision program for men.

I've tried to make it somewhat believable (as in, not complete kink bait), but obviously it's still very kinky.

It's a bit too long to send in one post, so I've broken it down and will be posting bunches chapters separately. Each chapter is in a different style, to keep things interesting.

This is Part 1 and covers Chapters 1 to 3.

>(CW: MM, MF, very soft description of circumcision operation)

CHAPTER 1: NEWS

SM: This is BBG News at 4. I'm Sharon Mistry.

SM: The government has today revealed a new health program, largely seen as  response to the explosive rise of the RHPV-9 virus among young adults. The program will involve £100 million of funding for sex education in higher education, £300 million for expanded STI testing at sexual health clinics, and most controversially, £2 billion for a so-called 'circumcision drive' for young men, aged between 21 and 25.

SM: To discuss this topic, we have with us in the studio today Dr. Ellen Laskaris from the Imperial Academy of Physicians, and Allen White, Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Public Health and Intervention.

SM: Mr. White, I'll start with you. This sounds like a very ambitious program of investment, especially at a time when the NHS is in such dire need. Can you describe what this program will really involve, and how it will help improve public health. I mean, is it really value for money, almost two and a half billion on sexual health?

AW: Certainly. Well, I'll cut to brass tacks, your point about the NHS. You see, that's the whole purpose of this. We have recognised the threat that rising RHPV rates pose to the nation's health. It's a very dangerous virus, and costly to treat long-term. Our best estimates have suggested an additional strain of £15 billion on the NHS by 2045 if we don't deal with this now. And we identified three approaches to really tackle this issue head on: improved education, improved testing, and male circumcision.

SM: You see, that is where many people might take issue. So much taxpayer money spend on a procedure which many see as unnecessary, even destructive. The NHS itself views it as an elective procedure and recommends other options for related issues. How do you justify spending so much money on something like this.

AW: That's a great question, and it is really the largest chunk of this program, but it will be very impactful. I'm sure Dr Laskaris will back me up on this, but circumcision has been shown to reduce rates of RHPV-9 significantly, moreso than even with HIV and other diseases. It is as close to a silver bullet as we have right now, and it isn't unprecedented - just look at South Africa or Australia, where they've already implemented this approach. As well, the United States have a vastly reduced rate of the disease, and our experts believe this is the reason.

SM: But of course, it's a very taboo topic. Many men, I'm sure, would not openly talk about this, but you're-

AW: Yes, it's a bold strategy. But we need those, this is a public health crisis, and it's been brewing for several years, and this government is prepared- is prepared to take decisive action.

SM: Now, I think this is something you can take doctor, what is the medical basis for this approach?

EL: Thank you for having me. So yes, circumcision. There are studies suggesting the procedure is effective in reducing rates of HIV, but the mechanism is different here. There is not necessarily a polite way to say this on daytime television, but this particular strain of the HPV virus, Resistant Human Papilloma Virus 9, is found almost exclusively in the foreskin. It is its main habitat and breeding grounds. So whilst circumcised men can still carry the virus, there is generally a much lower viral load, and it is less transmissible.

SM: And this has been documented?

EL: Yes, there were several studies conducted in the Netherlands and in Mexico two years ago that provided fairly solid evidence for this. The IAP have worked closely with these researchers and the government to build this approach.

AW: It was not taken lightly, and we of course recognise what it is asking from many young men. But with the funding available, we'll ensure it is as quick and easy as possible. The better we do this, the more men will of course take it up. It will be a world-class program, with the backing of the NHS and the talented people there.

SM: I understand there will be a grant?

AW: Yes, to university students, we will remove all interest on their student loan. On top of that, all participants will be given a lump sum of between £1000 and £2000, based on their circumstances. This will all be means-tested, of course.

SM: Thank you. Now, onto a different topic. There has been quite vocal criticism to this move online, by individuals and by action groups against circumcision. How would you respond to claims that this puts men who don't want to have the operation in a difficult financial spot? Mr. White, I think you'd be best placed to answer this one.

AW: Yes, uhh, thank you. Well, I'd like to start off by saying we're not trying to discriminate against men who choose not to have this done. Of course, at the end of the day, it's a choice and they can choose not to do this, that's totally fine. But we would really encourage them to get it done, and this grant is to make men who are on the fence seriously consider it. Because we firmly believe that they will benefit, and the country will be safer for it. At the end of the day, we have their best interests in mind.

SM: So you believe all men who can should get this done.

AW: Yes, I do. It's why we're rolling out this program.

SM: And would you get it done?

AW: I don't think- that's. I'd prefer not to answer that question, it's a bit personal.

SM: But you're asking other men to, this is relevant-

AW: This is an important program, and I really think we'll see the benefits in coming years. Thank you.

CHAPTER 2: BLONDE & BLUE

The two men, blonde and blue, slam into the disabled toilet, breathily huffing as they make out, tugging on each other's lips and getting generally handsy. The hypnotic beat of the club is only slightly muffled through the thick door. Blond slams blue against a wall, his leather jacket creaking. They kiss once more, and hands reach needfully for a belt in the scuffle.

"Let's see what you were grinding into me with earlier, big guy."

Blue smirks, back against the wall, and steadies himself on one of the wall handles. His jeans are pulled to the floor, revealing a throbbing mass in a pair of cobalt blue boxer briefs. His bulge is large and oh-so manly.

"Very nice." says the blonde.

He hooks his slender hands into the waistband, tugging them so they sit around blue's knees. Blue has a true mushroom, with a broad, helmet-shaped glans that glistens in the cool light of the toilet. Beneath it on the shaft, is a hinterland of red, raw skin, and a dark, quarter-inch wide band running the whole width of his penis. At about 6 inches long, the length is nothing to scoff at, but by god is it girthy.

"Wow, you're one of them." says the man kneeling.

"One of them?"

"Yeah, the guys who took the grant, the cut grant thing, for student loans. Looks amazing man. Kinda raw though, what the fuck!"

"Oh, yeah. Easy money, mate. Recovery wasn't even that bad, honest."

"Yeah? Fuck, I can't get over how red it is…"

"Yeah. They told me that would go away in a couple months. So enjoy it whilst it lasts." Blue winks.

"Oh, I will. Sorta making me want to get it done. And I don't even need the money."

"Sounds like a win-win to me, mate."

"Aha, fuck. I was supposed to be sucking your dick."

CHAPTER 3: DEBATE

TheUniRoom Forums

Thread: Thinking of going for Sexual Health Grant, thoughts?

User: Jacer303
21 August at 20:31
so last week the portal opened for the new sexual health grant. I thought when I first heard about it that it wouldn't be a big deal, like maybe a couple hundred, but this looks really good actually. Like, no interest on my student loan and £2000 upfront. I'm not even that attached to my foreskin honestly. Like honestly I'll get the bag idec.

User: Amoledpaint
21 August at 21:22
yeah I'm pretty sure I was gonna need to get it done anyway, why not take the money
it's cleaner too, right?

User: ERommel23
21 August at 21:29
Replying to Jacer303
Not quite. It's means tested. So if your household earnings are above a certain amount per year they only  remove half the interest, and you don't get the cash. There's a table on the portal. Did you even read it?

User: Jacer303
21 August at 21:35
Replying to Amoledpaint
Yeah, I hear that. My cousin got it done, said he never had any issues. Apparently they're rolling it out in Germany too next year.  Get a grip ERommel23.

User: GargantiStriganti
21 August at 22:01
Any word on how they'll actually do it? Like there will be thousands of guys taking up on this offer. They say they wanna get it done this year, all at once. I know for damn sure the NHS doesn't have that kinda capacity. And there aren't that many consultants. Either this will be a trainwreck or they have something else planned.

User: MemolicTT
21 August at 22:49
Replying to GargantiStriganti
Think the healthsec has come out and said they'll be using special machines to do it at unis or in special buildings. Been lined up / planned for a while now. Not like them to actually think this stuff through. But yeah I'm honestly thinking it might be a good idea. People make too big a deal about this shit. It's a tiny flap of skin.

User: GargantiStriganti
21 August at 23:00
Replying to MemolicTT
Oh, makes sense ig. I'm still protective of mine. Come from a long line of long foreskin-havers.

User: BOBANx2567
21 August at 23:40
Man tf up pussy, other guys don't get a choice and you're being fucking paid for this.

User:GargantiStriganti
22 August at 09:12
Replying to BOBANx2567
I've checked this guy's post history, he's always posting like this, trying to bait people. Don't let him get to you.
My gf's pushing me to get it done now. I shouldn't have mentioned it! She always said she loved my foreskin n now she's mentioning this grant like every day. Idk how to feel about it!