u/Significant_Key4596

(F/31) Hey all,

I posted here a while ago saying I was getting off the snow.
It didn’t work.
Managed to abstain for 2 weeks while away abroad but I went straight back to it once home.
It has progressed from doing it later in the day to doing it straight out of bed, all day. I manage to stay under 1g/a day still, but I can tell the addiction is quickly settling in. Apart from a few breaks I’ve been using daily since end of March ~ a little over 3 months.
My psychiatrist knows, he doesn’t really have much to say about it apart from keeping up with my medication (antidepressants, antipsychotics and benzos).
Today I had an appointment in an addiction center, we talked about a few options but honestly the guy was more about asking what kind of help I was looking for rather than offering any real answers. Mostly he said I should get an ADHD and AS test, and also consider rehab + post rehab outpatient treatment.
I use to function, not to have fun. Coke makes me focused and motivated to get shit done, work wise, admin wise, house management wise. It also makes me open up to people a bit more.
When I don’t use I crash, I sleep, I don’t feel like seeing anyone, I don’t have any motivation.
I’m aware that keeping using will just accentuate the bad times I have without it. It’s like a never ending circle and honestly I just don’t know what to do.
I managed to quit alcohol a year ago after I almost killed myself because of my consumption and realising I was an alcoholic. Needless to say I’m more of a polyaddict.
For some reason quitting the snow feels like it’s going to be harder (or at least I’m going to spiral down into hell much quicker).

If you have any tips that worked for you as a daily user in order to cut back/quit entirely, I’d love to hear about it.
Did you have to hit rock bottom, undergo a true health scare, or did you have a “eureka” moment that changed everything ? Did going to rehab work ? Did going to NA work ? (I went to a few meetings but I didn’t click with it at all compared to AA).

I don’t want to die from this shit. I feel so alone and helpless. I never expected to end up in this spot but here I am.

Hey all,
I (F/31) have been using daily for a little over 2 months. I took a 5 day break and a 6 day break, never did more than .7 a day.
I’m a recovering alcoholic (1 year) so I don’t drink, but those last months made me realise I’m just an addict with a multi substance problem lol.

I work in the movie industry so super fast paced environment, crazy hours and workload. And then nothing by but free time when the shoot is over.
Been trying to manage my coke consumption, it was fun in the beginning but it quickly progressed into shit. No more rush, just anxiety, got so stressed about my heart i took my BP 5 times a day. Nose started to hurt like a bitch after \~1 month of using, I started to take proper care of it with saline spray + oils but I could feel it deteriorating.

3 days ago I just had enough. I don’t feel good when I’m high I don’t feel good when I’m sober. Being an alcoholic I know that’s the sign the fun is over. Also got super paranoid about my septum.

Went to an ENT and she said a septum hole isn’t a question of IF but WHEN. My membrane is fucked up but thank god it hasn’t reached the cartilage. And that’s only in 2 months, with care, sleep (thank you benzos) and good diet.
Haven’t used in 4 days, hoping to keep going. I practice the AA program but for coke. One day at a time. Or one hour if that’s too hard. Before you know it you have months of sobriety behind you and it’s not a struggle anymore, that’s what happened to me with alcohol and I was pretty deep in it.

Be careful and take care 🖤