u/SmoothSensory24

I am a bi-curious male in my mid-50s from the UK. When I was in my early-20s I had an fleeting but significant encounter that has had a considerable impact on my sense of self over the many intervening years.

I was in a nightclub with some male friends enjoying a few drinks and a dance. We had a good time, but no-one managed to "get off" with any of the ladies present that night. It got to the end of the night and we were sat around a table finishing our drinks. The lights came on and everybody started making their way to the exit, which meant that they had to pass by our table. I noticed one particular blonde lady, who probably in her mid-30 and was wearing full leather or PVC (the memory fades with time). Anyway, I was captivated by her and I couldn't help staring. She caught me staring and my heart skipped a beat when she walked over to our table and whispered something about "cock" to me before walking off. It was loud enough that we all heard her comment, but we were all drunk enough that it took us a few seconds to process it. It suddenly hit us all at the same time. She'd actually said, "You'd look good with a cock in your mouth." Obviously, my mates took the piss out of me remorselessly for several months afterwards, but that encounter has stayed with me for much longer than that.

Although I will never know the true meaning behind her words, it has nonetheless had a profound impact on me. Did she see something in me that I didn't yet realise. Was she just being rude because she caught me staring at her, or did she actually want to take me home to pleasure her man.

This encounter was a true, real-world encounter that has fuelled my fantasies ever since. It has perhaps even helped mold my sexuality and my sexual interests. It is amazing the power that those 9 words held.

I am interested to hear whether other people have had similar formative moments or epiphanies. If so, what kind of impact has it had on your lives?

I am a mid-50s bi-curious/bi without experience male, whose fantasies and turn-ons predominantly revolve pleasure giving to other males, females or couples in a consensual, encouraging and non-degrading way. Receiving physical pleasure in return is not an essential part of the fantasy, as the psychological arousal from giving pleasure or being used for pleasure is the main driver. Although I am fairly certain that I am bi, I am also turned on by the idea of bi encouragement from a female partner. I haven't had much exposure to kink communities and I am fairly new to Reddit, so am not sure whether this a common dynamic or not and/or whether that means that I am considered to be submissive or not. Part of this fantasy also involves cleaning up with my mouth afterwards, so I don't know whether this dynamic also strays into cuckolding as well. Whilst I am not fixated on labels or pigeon-holing myself, I would be interested in hearing your thoughts about this and any advice you may have for me. Thank you.

I am a mid-50s bi-curious/bi without experience male, whose fantasies and turn-ons predominantly revolve pleasure giving to other males, females or couples in a consensual, encouraging and non-degrading way. Receiving physical pleasure in return is not an essential part of the fantasy, as the psychological arousal from giving pleasure or being used for pleasure is the main driver. Although I am fairly certain that I am bi, I am also turned on by the idea of bi encouragement from a female partner. I haven't had much exposure to bisexual or kink communities, so am not sure whether this a common dynamic or not and/or whether that means that I am also considered to be submissive or not. Part of this fantasy also involves cleaning up everyone with my mouth afterwards, so I don't know whether this dynamic also strays into cuckolding as well. Whilst I am not fixated on labels or pigeon-holing myself, I would be interested in hearing your thoughts about this and any advice you may have. Thank you..

Please not me that I have edited this post to include more details, as I rushed my first attempt.

I'm looking for a realistic dark brown flesh tone dual density silicone dildo with balls, which is ideally between 7 and 8 inches in overall length. It should be available in the UK for under £60. Any recommendations? Thanks.

Does Lovetoy still produce this range of dildos, as I am struggling to find them in stock in the UK? If not, can anyone recommend a decent alternative within a similar price bracket? Thank you.

During my short time on Reddit, I have been dipping in and out of various subs in an attempt to find "my people" with regards to sexuality and sexual interests. Obviously, I (mid-50s late diagnosed autistic male) have found my tribe with regards to autism, but I'm struggling with the sexual side of the search.

I identify as bi-curious/bisexual without experience. I'm more on the submissive side, but I'm not really into BDSM, pain or humiliation. I did try and engage with others on a submissive sub, but there seemed to be little commonality of interest between us and they seemed quite tribal (in an exclusive rather than inclusive way). I'm probably also bit of a cuck, although I'm not into chastity or (as previously stated) humiliation. Ultimately, I believe that it's mainly about the power play dynamics within these situations.

Someone in one of the autistic subReddits suggested that I try a femdom community to see if that was a fit for me, so here I am. I am looking to chat with other like-minded people about my/their sexuality and sexual interests in order to discover more about myself and others, and hopefully discover my place in this world. I am not looking for sexting , pic swaps, masturbation or hook ups. Thank you.

I would consider myself to be a bit of an exhibitionist/voyeur. Not in a "having sex in public" or "posting myself on the internet" sort of way, but more of a watching/being watched in a swinger's club or gay sauna sort of way. I wonder if these tendencies could be underpinned by my autism. I have often been sidelined or have chosen to separate myself during social occasions, so I end up spending a lot of time "people watching", which I enjoy. I wonder if this has influenced my voyeuristic yearnings. Also, I don't really have a sense of personal embarrassment, and have seen a lot of articles about autistic people being less bound by societal norms and expectations. I wonder whether these factors have influenced my exhibitionist side? What do you think? Are these behaviours likely underpinned by my autism or am I just a pervert?! 😜

Edited: The use of the word "pervert" is meant as a light hearted comment to represent the alternative choice that my autism is not relevant in these circumstances. Sorry for any confusion caused.

During my short time on Reddit, I have been dipping in and out of various subs in an attempt to find "my people" with regards to sexuality and sexual interests. Obviously, I (mid-50s late diagnosed autistic male) have found my tribe with regards to autism, but I'm struggling with the sexual side of the search.

I identify as bi-curious/bisexual without experience. I'm more on the submissive side, but I'm not really into BDSM, pain or humiliation. I did try and engage with others on a submissive sub, but there seemed to be little commonality of interest between us and they seemed quite tribal (in an exclusive rather than inclusive way).

I'm probably also bit of a cuck, although I'm not into chastity or (as previously stated) humiliation. Ultimately, it's about the power play. I just want to be able to give and/or be used for sexual pleasure to/by others in an encouraging, fun and slightly kinky environment.

Is there a specific sub-genre for people like me, or should I just focus on the bisexual element, which seems to have been the friendliest community on here so far (apart from the autistics of course!)?

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts and any suggestions you may have. Thank you.

I (male) wear thongs as my everyday underwear, predominantly for comfort reasons, but also because I like the way they make me feel. Is this style of "barely there" underwear usually associated with submissives or is it nothing to do with power play dynamics and only about personal preferences?

I (male, mid 50s) wear men's thongs as my everyday underwear, predominantly for comfort reasons, but also because of how they make me feel. Although men's thongs have become a lot more widely available in recent years and presumably more acceptable, I suspect that thongs are still predominantly viewed as women's underwear by society. I was wondering whether sexuality played a part in underwear choice. Obviously, thongs and jocks are widely accepted in the gay community, but does that also apply for bisexuals? Does being bisexual mean that you are naturally less constrained by societal norms? Do others (especially women) find thong wearing men attractive, or is that just me? 😃

So, I consider myself to be bi-curious (or bisexual without experience), but my attraction to other men is predominantly centred around a particularly aesthetic dynamic, which is smooth-bodied men who wear sexy men's underwear. This also mirrors my own aesthetic (despite me being in my mid-50s). I genuinely don't think that I would be interested in someone sexually if they didn't match this aesthetic, particularly the smooth body element. Is aesthetic bisexuality a real thing or am I just being fussy?

The idea of being submissive appeals to me, but not in the full BDSM sense of the word. I am not interested in degradation or pain, but don't mind the idea of being restrained. What appeals to me more is the psychological power play of submitting myself to a couple for them to use me for their pleasure, especially when it is done in an encouraging way. Giving pleasure in these circumstances is a big turn-on for me. I am a bi-curious (or bisexual without experience) male in my mid-50s, but have held this fantasy for many years. Is this common dynamic or am I in a minority amongst submissives?

Can anyone recommend a good anonymous kink/fetish/sexual interest quiz that is not BDSM focused? Thanks.

For those who haven't seen my other recent posts, I am a late-diagnosed pansexual/bisexual autistic male, who enjoys wearing male thongs for sensory reasons. This sensory need also crosses over into a sexual "kink" (a very vanilla one), which I mirror onto others, i.e. I love wearing "sexy" underwear and love other people that also do. In what I believe is a natural extension of this sensory need is that I want/need everyone to keep their underwear/lingerie on for as long as possible during an intimate encounter. From a touch perspective, this allows for a stimulating array of fabrics to be available to brush against when exploring their bodies. From an aesthetic perspective, these garments often accentuate certain body parts, whilst "hiding" others, thus increasing sexual tension. I also love how some of these fabrics react to fluids, whether it be becoming transparent or slippery. For me, the pinnacle of this act is the eventual pulling aside of this thong for whatever flavour of penetrative act is on offer during that encounter. Is this just a me thing or is it a "kink/fetish" that other autistic people share?

One of the responses to an earlier post of mine has got me thinking about the dynamics of sexual power play, especially with regards to the autistic mind. In real life, I have to be in control of everything, otherwise I get easily triggered. That is one of my main autistic traits. Whereas for sex, I would probably categorise myself as sub. One of my long running fantasies has been about being used for pleasure by a confident M/F or M/M couple (but not in a degrading or painful way). I think it is the dynamics of the sexual power play in this situation that is the biggest turn-on factor rather than the act itself. Is this at odds with my controlling needs in real life or is it a logical counter-balance? In fact, am I actually still the one effectively in control in this situation? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and whether sexual power play is important to you.

I appreciate that not all autistic people have special interests. If you do have a special interest, is it sexual in nature? For me, I have a sensory needs to wear a certain type of underwear. This means that researching, buying, collecting and wearing these garments (predominantly thongs and Brazilian cut briefs made from various fabrics) is one of my slightly expensive special interests. What about you all?

Hi, I am a late diagnosed autistic male who prefers to groom/shave some of my body hair (armpits, groin and ass). I also prefer to wear tight, silky-feeling clothing, including men's thongs. I always believed that these were driven by sexual kinks, but have recently realised that they are largely underpinned by sensory needs, as I dislike the feeling of damp body hair and damp cotton against my skin. That said, I still get sexual pleasure from the smooth sensation that these measures afford me. I guess that also makes sense from an autistic point of view, as the removal of these sensory barriers/inhibitors allows for some kind of sensory euphoria (like slipping between clean bed sheets every night). These sensory needs/sexual kinks also strong influence the type of people that I am attracted to. Gender is unimportant to me, whereas people who mirror my aesthetic is a big turn on for me. I'm not normally big on labels, but apparently this makes me an "aesthetic-driven pansexual". With this new realisation, I wondered whether there were any other autistic people here who experience sensory/sexual crossover and whether mirroring forms a big part of their turn ons?