u/Snowball_Lux

Hey, so I (m20) have been pretty curious about this whole community and its kinda a funny story how i started looking into it.

It all startet at a party with friends and their gay teacher and he said that i would for sure look good in a pup hood and this sentence never really left my brain and so i looked into it and quickly found out that its kinda turning me on but i dont know how to try it out without feeling weird about it because of the opinions of other poeple.

During pride events in germany (berlin) i was many pups and everything and most friends just said not negative comments but also not positiv comments about them and i just think if they are happy and nobody feels attacked by them they should do what makes them happy.

So my question would be how to get started?

I dont have anything atm and kinda on a tight budget but still curious.

Also im a kinda very shy person so this is something that doesnt help me much about getting to know other people.

Hello, so I (M20) have always been pretty open about my sexuality, but only around some of my friends — never around my parents. I really want to change that, but it’s honestly hard.

I’ve known I was gay since puberty. At first, I thought I was bi, but that quickly changed because I never really felt an emotional or romantic connection toward women. I can make good friendships with women, but never anything more, and at some point I realized that I’m just gay.

Now comes the problem: I’m out to a few friends, but not to any of my male friends or my parents. I honestly suspect my parents already know. Recently, my mother texted me asking if she would ever get grandkids someday, and then said that if not, that’s okay and she would still love me. But the constant changes in her behavior are confusing and honestly make me uncomfortable.

Sometimes she says things like, “Oh, he is gay? What a waste for such a good-looking man,” and comments like that really bother me. My father has also asked me several times, and it’s basically become his standard question: “Do you have a girlfriend… or a boyfriend?”

Maybe part of the problem is myself, because I just can’t seem to find the courage. But it’s exhausting living like I have a second identity.

At the same time, I’m scared of negative reactions. I tend to overthink everything and immediately imagine the worst possible outcome. What if they react badly? What if my mother is disappointed because she might not get grandkids anytime soon? What if they see me differently afterward?

All of this makes things even harder. Finding new friends is difficult, and dating isn’t even on my mind because of everything I dislike about myself right now.

I’ve also tried therapy, but it hasn’t really helped so far. I still have a lot to work through, and between the long waiting times and my work schedule, getting proper appointments feels almost impossible.

But back to my actual question: how do I find the courage to come out to my parents and finally just be who I am?

I’m also looking for advice on how I can learn to accept myself and my body more, because a lot of my fears and insecurities seem connected to the way I see myself.