My new BF is into BDSM and I'm new to this
My bf and I have only been together a few months. I have had a very vanilla and conservative upbringing along with some sexual trauma. Its taken me years to be able to enjoy intimacy.
A month ago he mentioned he was determined to try some thing on me, (crop, feather, blindfold, and fully body restraint). He explained in detail his interest in pain and pleasure and why he enjoys being a dom. I of course spiraled for weeks internally.
We have since had many healthy sex conversations which alone was hard for me. We have shared fears, desires, triggers, trauma, insecurities. He has been nothing but supportive and patient. He seemed to notice it scared me and promised we didnt have to try any of it.
I do not yet know how i feel.. it doesnt bother me at all and I am open to people having differences. We have had rougher sex before. Some hair pulling and light throat grabbing or light spanks.. but nothing like this.
Do you have advice on how i should proceed? I dont want to not try because of fear.. but i am absolutely terrified that I will mentally disconnect from trauma during this and freeze. Im so scared of how i will feel mentally. Is this something everyone goes thru? If I agree is it to please him only? How do I know?