Partner‘s mental health causing problems with submission?
This is about something that happened a week ago, but I’m still a little worried about it and figured this would be the best place to ask for advice.
So, my partner (NB, 21, peer reviewed autism) has always had submissive interests. This is something we’d discussed very early on, and it works fine for me, since I lean dominant anyways. But they’re also still very new to not just BDSM, but sex in general, since I’m their first partner. And while they’re (understandably) a little reticent to share details, I know they’ve dealt with a lot of shame and self hatred about their kinks and fetishes in the past. I’ve been trying to help them understand it’s totally alright, and have largely been successful? With, apparently, one current exception.
The catch is, when we were playing last week, I noticed them starting to slip into a pretty heavy submissive headspace. We weren’t doing anything particularly unusual, they were just responding very strongly to the usual praise and giving orders. I assumed everything was fine, until a couple days later, they were clearly very embarrassed about it, and asked me to never let them do that again. I pressed a little more, and they said they felt like they degraded themselves for no reason, and they’re scared of feeling like they’re regressing.
I’ve noticed for a while they’re really having a hard time, mental health wise, and while I’ve suggested they talk to their therapist about it, that hasn’t shaken out yet. I’ve been leaving it alone, but I also don’t want them to feel like they need to be afraid of this part of themselves around me. And I also don’t want them to feel like they need to handle all of this alone.
I guess what I wanted to know is, is this a familiar feeling to any of you? And is there anything I can do to help them navigate this?