Has anyone figured out why they are naturally drawn to dominance?
My entire life, I have felt naturally drawn to a be a dominant, primarily in reference towards BDSM but also just generally in a relationship. However, I always felt like a bad person because I had these fantasies of inflicting pain, punishment, and control on a willing partner. It caused me a great deal of chagrin and I think it unconsciously caused myself to push away from romantic connection. I have been trying to be more accepting of my kinks, have been educating myself on safe and responsible practices, and even have started to get more active in the community. However, I still think I am struggling to accept this part of me because I do not understand why it is a part of me. I have truly tried to answer this question, and while here are certainly elements inherent to D/s dynamics that greatly appeal to me, it still doesn’t explain this natural urge, this “calling” to be a dominant. I am curious to learn if anyone else has grappled with this, and if so, how did you get over the hump?