Discussing and Sharing Tasks Beforehand
Hi all
My wife and I are experimenting with some elements of BDSM as she is a natural sub and I am keen to explore my more dominant side, although I am struggling a little as I am normal quite a quiet and laid back guy.
My question today is about tasks. We have spent some time discussing what we both would like to explore more and one common element is my setting her tasks to complete, with rewards or punishments following depending on how she does. We have created a rewards and punishment list and are both happy with everything on it. The rewards/punishments are selected using dice, to even though she knows everything on there, there is still an element on uncertainty about what she will get.
For the tasks though, I am compiling a list and am unsure whether to share it with her. We have discussed it, and she doesn't want to know what is on there so she will be genuinely surprised the first time she gets each task. I get that, and to be honest I kind of agree, but my concern is what if I put something on there she doesn't like?
I'm sure she would speak up, but I still have doubts because she might do it because she thinks I want it, rather than because she is happy to. Is this me overthinking it? Would a 'true dom' not mind if she wants to or not? (accepting she would absolutely not do anything she disagrees with)
Any advice from experienced folks would be appreciated, specifically on whether you share everything beforehand or not.
Thanks in advance