Meet and Greets etc
F47/M47 Newish to the lifestyle… I've noticed that a lot of swinger communities seem very cliquey, and I'm genuinely curious why that is. I’m not sure if this is just in our area (New England) or not. Prior to actively being in the lifestyle we had an easier time meeting swingers than once we decided to jump in.
From the outside, the lifestyle is often described as open-minded, accepting, and focused on connection. But when I've observed local groups, events, and online communities, it sometimes feels like there are established social circles that can be difficult for newcomers to break into.
For example, we went to a meet-and-greet recently, and it seemed like most people already knew each other and spent the majority of the time talking within their regular groups. As newcomers, it felt a little awkward trying to join conversations because everyone appeared comfortable sticking with the people they already knew.
I've noticed something similar in online groups too. It often seems like the same people are always interacting with each other while newer members struggle to become part of the conversation.
I completely understand that trust and friendships are important in a lifestyle that involves vulnerability and safety. But it does make me wonder: if people already have these established circles, what role are meet-and-greets supposed to play? Aren't they meant to be opportunities to meet and welcome new people as well?
I'm not trying to criticize anyone or start drama. I'm genuinely curious whether others have experienced this and, if so, what you think causes it. Is it just human nature, or is there something specific about the lifestyle that tends to create these kinds of social circles?