u/TheGoodishBoy

I typically wear a diaper to bed the last half of the week and training pants the other half of the week. I'll break out the Grown Ass Adult Man Undies when I absolutely have to.

About once a year or so I guess my subconscious doesn't realize it's Tuesday night and not a diaper night, and I'll have an actual bedwetting accident.

One of the last times I woke up in the middle of the night in wet training pants I jumped out of bed and see the wet spot on my bed and feel the wet training pants. In that moment before my mind is fully awake, I am on the verge of tears and terrified that I'm going to be beaten. After close to a minute I wake up enough to realize I'm a Grown Ass Adult Man, and I'm sleeping in a bed I paid for in an apartment that I pay for, and my parents have been dead over 10 years. No one is going to beat me with a belt.

Grown Ass Adult Man Me is like WHOA WTF!? Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. I may be like Icarus and flew too close to the sun.

Little me is like this felt like an authentic toddler/preschooler bedwetting accident.

Adult me will change the bedsheets and clean myself up, and I'll change myself into a diaper for then rest of the night. I normally we diapers to bed about half the week. When I have an authentic bedwetting experience like that I'll wear a diaper to bed the rest of the week.

After a week I'll go back to sleeping in training pants. The little bit of nervousness I have going to bed in training pants and hoping I don't wet the bed again hits the Little nerve in a different way and reinforces the headspace.

I usually sleep diapered the last half of the week and in training pants the first half of the week.

On diaper nights I'll notice sometimes I'll wake up juuuust enough to not hold back. I'll make sure to not look at my alarm clock so my brain doesn't "time stamp" this.

There are times that I'll wake up in a diaper that is much heavier and wetter than the one wetting. The only thing I can think is all my subconscious knows it's safe to go, and maybe it's kinda like peeing in the shower, like I'm wet already and my subconscious realizes it's okay to go.

I'll wake up in a very wet diaper under my onesie with my arm around my stuffie, and sometimes paci still in my mouth. There's that liminal space where my eyes may be open, but my mind isn't fully awake. That time always feels Little to me.

Doesn't matter if I'm 2 years old or my current age, it feels the same waking up like that.