Dating in Japan - so lost.
I hope it's okay to ask this here.
I moved to Tokyo in March for work. I've lived in Japan before, but this is my first time dating here. I'm planning to stay for at least a few years, so I'm looking for a serious relationship.
I matched with a Japanese man (mid-40s) on Bumble. He owns his own company and divorced about a year ago after a long marriage. He has two daughters (late teens/20s) who live with their mother. His profile says he's looking for a partner, and on our first date he said the same. Later, though, he mentioned that he's really enjoying his freedom and current lifestyle, which left me confused.
On our first date, I asked whether he wanted more children because his profile didn't mention it. He said, "Maybe not, but if it's the right person, then for her maybe, yes," and acknowledged that he knew from my profile that I do want kids. We had a conversation about this, including my relationship goals, but nothing has come up since.
We had a great first date (museum+lunch+coffee), then a second dinner date where we clicked really well. He held my hand on the walk home from date two and kissed me goodbye. Our third date was this past Thursday: we spent the day driving around Kamakura to see temples/the ocean, had dinner afterward, and he asked if I wanted to stay over. Throughout the day, he was affectionate and held my hand a lot. He planned things and was very thoughtful. When we talked and joked, it felt like we had known each other much longer than we have. Overall, he seemed intentional, and I felt we clicked really well in many ways.
Here's where I'm confused. If this were happening in the U.S., by the third date I'd expect at least some conversation about whether we're still seeing other people. Neither of us has brought it up, and we're both still on Bumble. I considered pausing the app so I could focus on getting to know him, but it felt strange to do that without having talked about it.
Then yesterday morning I asked over text if he wanted to meet that day. He replied that he was doing his hobby. I said, "Okay, so you're busy this weekend, right?" About seven hours later, he replied that he was actually taking his daughters somewhere this weekend.
That part confused me. It's a three-day weekend, so spending time with his daughters makes sense. I just wasn't sure why he didn't mention it from the beginning. He had also previously told me he rarely gets to see them, so why didn't he tell me on Thursday, something like, I am excited to see my kids this weekend! The delayed reply also surprised me because he's usually very responsive. I understand people have lives, but the long delay until dinner time felt weird, especially on a Saturday. I know he is always on his phone for work too.
So I'm wondering whether I'm misunderstanding the cultural side of things or simply overthinking an early-stage relationship.
Is it common in Japan to avoid conversations about exclusivity after several nice dates? Is it normal for both people to stay active on dating apps until someone brings it up? Or does this sound less like a cultural difference and more like someone who, after a divorce, isn't ready for a lifestyle change and a serious relationship despite saying he's looking for one?
I'm used to dating in the U.S., so I think that I am missing some cultural context around dating here. I realize that the pace is confusing to me. I also understand that in Japanese culture, people take more space, maybe, and they like to balance their lives with many things scheduled in, while in the US there is more of a trend to focus on a new relationship and person when you are excited about them.
I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have experience dating in Japan. Thanks!