How do I feel hot as an average guy?
Hey so im 20m and I havent ever dated or had sex with anyone. I want to have fun sex and find love but I feel like its really hard. Ive been trying for the past 2 months to get out my shell more socially. Joined a political activist group and have been a bit more active that way. Went to a club once and found it awesome! Danced and had fun with friends. Most of my friends are women so its not like im incapable of talking to women as people or anything.
But clearly im doing something wrong. I in these 2 months have only tried to get one girls number and that went no where.
I think the problem is that im not confident and outgoing enough. One reason Im not is because i dont really think im "hot". I can on good days believe I look nice or "handsome" I guess, but I cant really imagine a woman wanting to have sex with me. Its a little alien concept to my brain that statiscally some women on earth will think im attractive. Some part of me kinda believes that until I slim down a bit itll be impossible. Though my rational brain shuts that down most times. Im only like 210 so it could be worse and I dont think women even care super hard about it more of a me thing I think.
I don't know how to express sexual or romantic intrest at all. Im a little scared I guess. Like one time recently at a political meeting there was a social thing at the end and this one girl gave a really good talk and I thought she was hot but I just couldnt say anything to her. Or at the club I didnt really flirt with any women. I just defaulted to like normal things to say like compliments on dancing or "looking nice" and had very short conversations on the dance floor.
I want to have sex but im messing up due to lack of belief in my looks. How do I get over this?