My delayed ejaculation, any tips?
So yesterday I was cuddling and making out with my new partner in my car. Everything was so exciting for me. It's been way too long since I've been this close with someone...then again, no one could even come close to how well things are going between me and them. I was getting hard and leaking so...I wanted to see what they were capable of doing. They gave me a hand job but...during the process, even if I was hard and leaking and feeling sensitive to their touch...I wasn't feeling anything. I wasn't feeling that slow build up to orgasim. Not that I wanted to finish quickly but...it just felt like it was taking a bit. So then they tried sucking me off and that did feel good but...nothing was still happening. I felt like my mind just went blank. I am big, so they couldn't deep throat me, but they got a good length of my dick. So since nothing was coming out I thought maybe I should suck them instead. Holy shit they were big. We were the same length but theirs was much thicker. I was impressed. So this was my first time sucking dick and dispite my teeth creeping in a few times, I think I did okay. I couldn't fully get down all the way so I was mostly trying to do tongue work with the tip. However, nothing came out of them either and maybe when they were about too, I kept gaging when I tried going deeper. So then we both decided that the moment passed and we just stopped. Thankfully they didn't make me feel weird about it. We cuddled and talked and admired each other's bodies and played around with them a bit. However after the fun day we had I was wondering...what the fuck?! I've waited to do this again for a long time and It took long for me the cum again? The first time I had sex with someone it did take me a bit cum but I eventually did and so did the other person, but I had to think of something to make myself cum. I've never been penetrated by a real person nor have I penetrated a real person. So both of experiences involve hands on dicks with the second one involving blow jobs. I knew my first time wasn't going to be amazing and was going to be a learning experience for what I want and what I like...I just didn't think my second time would be worse than my first one. I did tell my new partner that I like people to be gentle with me, but I guess they were kinda rough. But I thought, hey maybe they've got a trick I haven't felt before. But even if I tried to enjoy it, for some reason I couldn't focus on the pleasure. My mind was kinda blank when it all happened. And then I did ask them what they like but maybe I didn't hear it or maybe they didn't tell me just exactly what they want me to do. When we were cuddling we talked about using more foreplay next time, because the things that got me hard was making out with them, them giving me hickeys, and just them touching me. They massaged my ass, that felt good. Because we both agreed we love the build up to sex...maybe I should have asked more about what they like too. We also agreed maybe my car wasn't the most comfortable place to do it. I also had an idea to send them a video of me masterbaiting so they could mimic my hand work. The video also made me find out how long I usually take. 5 minutes. But it's weird. How come I'm much better at pleasuring myself and being relaxed and in the moment than during sex? And how come the advice I give to myself "ask what your partner likes" it didn't go through my head during the act? Is it because I'm so used to just pleasuring myself, psychologically my mind is like "Holy shit, uh...uh...fuck how did we get horny again"? Is because of my endless consumption of porn every since I was younger? Is it because of the constant stress I feel for living? Or is it because I make sure not to cum too fast my dick is like "guess I'm not cumming at all"? I was also very ticklish when this all happened. Am I that starved of touch my body like "Oh my god it's happening, stay calm...I SAID STAY CALM"?
What could possibly be wrong that dispite me being horny...nothing happened?