You really never know what people are like outside of work.
You really never know what people are like outside of work.
I’m pretty social, and me and a bunch of the guys from work go out clubbing fairly regularly. Last year after our work Christmas party we all ended up hitting clubs in the city and eventually getting hotel rooms for an afterparty.
One of the guys who came along really surprised me.
At work, he’s the definition of quiet and unassuming. He shows up on time every day, barely says much beyond the odd bit of workplace banter, and mostly just keeps to himself. Headphones in, focused, and honestly a machine at his job. At smoko and lunch he sits alone eating leftovers from the night before, and the second knock-off time hits he’s packed up and gone. Same faded, worn-out work clothes every day, rips and holes in them, old tools, nothing about him stands out at all. If anything, he’s the last person you’d expect to be out partying or living any kind of wild life.
He’s also married with two kids, which makes the contrast even harder to reconcile.
So seeing him that night was a bit of a shock.
He actually cleaned up really well. Trimmed beard, hair styled, black jeans, clean black Timberland boots, and a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Same guy, but completely different presence.
While most of us were out dancing, drinking, and chasing girls, he was mostly just sitting at the bar drinking quietly. But even then, women were still coming up to him. Not in an obvious “pickup” way more just naturally gravitating toward him. He wasn’t doing anything flashy, just relaxed, calm, keeping to himself
Later in the night he ended up going back to his room with someone, which honestly caught me off guard at the time.
Since then I’ve hung out with him a bit more outside of work, and it’s slowly started to make more sense.
Even in everyday situations, like a cashier at a servo or supermarket, he’s like a different person. He’ll walk up with this big smile and instantly switch into this energetic, warm, charming version of himself.
“Hey, how’s it going? Busy day?”
He always starts the conversation. And even though it’s only a couple of minutes, the person serving him almost always ends up smiling back like their mood’s just lifted. If there’s any flirting, he’ll match it naturally without making it weird, then thanks them and moves on, he talks to people as if he has known them for years, even if its their first and only interaction
You see it even more at bars and clubs. With bartenders and waitresses he’s always relaxed and chatty. If they flirt, he flirts back, and they always seem genuinely happy to talk to him. Even on busy nights they’ll often circle back over to him once they’ve finished serving others. I’ve even seen him get free drinks a few times.
Later at night in clubs, women will sometimes approach him directly. He’ll usually just smile, hold up his hand, wiggle his ring finger to point out his wedding ring. Some apologise and back off, and he just laughs it off assures them it was an honest mistake and that he is flattered. Sometimes he’ll even redirect them toward one of us instead. But if they stay and keep flirting, he’ll just naturally go along with it.
The more I’ve seen of him in different settings, the more it’s really hit me how misleading first impressions can be. At work he blends into the background completely, quiet, invisible almost. Outside of it, he’s confident, social, and effortlessly good with people in a way you just wouldn’t pick from looking at him day to day.
As bad as it sounds, the guy is the ultimate wingman, if he isnt into someone he introduces them to one of us younger guys instead