I’ve been a sugar baby for just over 3 years (in my early 20s) and lately I’ve been reflecting on some of the relationships and arrangements I’ve been in.
This isn’t a break down of the best way to meet a SD. This is just me simply accounting some of the arrangements I’ve been in. I also am not looking for anyone’s opinion on what is considered a sugar relationship.
Some of the timelines converge : start around similar times and happed simultaneously so I’ll try to put it in order best as possible.
…
Mr P- 30+ years older White Man
Relationship lasted- Almost 3 years on and off (still cordial, but not sexual anymore)
I met him in another city when we were both there for work. I wasn’t free-styling things just happened on accident. He took me shopping for our second date, we had a fun weekend. Sex in general was okay. This relationship was never explicitly sugar, I remember broaching the topic but he stated he’s not a SD and didn’t want things to be transactional. He took care of my beauty expenses, bills and other expenses if I asked, first class tickets and trips, and a 2k+ shopping trip every time we spent together, plus he trusted me enough where I had his CC info which he let me use. We lived in different cities, things ultimately ended because I couldn’t see things going forward plus other arguments and he’s an in denial alcoholic. (He was more of a SBF)
Mr S- just over 10 years older WM
Relationship lasted- 14 months (Started 5 months after meeting Mr P during our first break)
Not much connection or emotion on my side. He was married (the first married guy I had been with) xxxx ppm, more of an escort vibe. Dinner, cocktails, back to the hotel. I wanted to meet more than once a month, he couldn’t. We broke things off because we weren’t aligned, also I wasn’t into the sex anymore.
Mr John- 25+ years older WM
Relationship Lasted- Over a year of on and off BS( started 5 months after meeting Mr P during first break, had a 6-8 month break with John, relationship never fully started again after that, just catching up)
We met on seeking, the only SD I’ve actually been with through seeking and he was by far the worst. High xxx ppm, but very stingy and tried to haggle me. It was more escort-ish. He eventually spewed the BS that things feel too transactional and he loves connecting with me and has feelings for me (he didn’t even know my first name, just a nickname). Cut things off after that, then tried to revisit things 6 months later when I needed some money, he gave me the money NSA, but things still didn’t work out because he wanted me to have more feelings for him than I did.
Mr K- 30+ years older WM
Relationship lasted- Still ongoing, but started almost 3 years ago (We meet about once a month! If that)
We met on a vanilla dating site, he stated he is not a SD, but he does enjoy treating a woman. I’ve come to realize that he’s very socially awkward, probably a bit on the spectrum, but I have a nice time when we go out for dinner. He enjoys my wit and loves to talk about politics which I indulge him in. No ppm, we’ve only had sex 3 times, which he’s never complained about or even brings up. Every time I see him we always go shopping and he spends over 1k on me plus a 300-500 dollar dinner (he’s an expensive wine connoisseur). He also pays for beauty treatments and sends me money when I ask Although he never complains or says no, he does ask me what it’s for. I almost ended things due to the fact that he can get very busy, but I decided not to because even when he’s busy he’s always financially supportive when I ask.
Mr J - 40 years older WM
Relationship lasted- 2.5 years ( started 8-9 months after meeting Mr P when things with Mr. John were fizzling out and Mr S was gone for 2 month for 1 months for work.)
Where do I even start with him. He was by far the most generous SD I’ve experienced and honestly I wish things didn’t end. I had a xxxx ppm he bought me an entry level luxury car, sent me money for various expenses, sponsored a bday trip for me, taught me about investing and really mentored me in life. His schedule was inconsistent, we only ever had sex less than 10 times in that 2.5 years, but when we did it was great. The lack of our sex life and his busy schedule ended up being the downfall to our arrangement. I definitely had shed a few tears in the end. (Our arrangement felt like more of a friendship)
Mr EGGS - 20-25 years older Indian Man
Relationship lasted- 5/6 months (Maybe)( kept in contact for longer) (Met just over a year after meeting Mr P during one of our breaks. SR lasted 2 months, kept in contact for about 6 months)
Married and from a different city and kind of came across as a toe dipper. High xxx ppm, but gave me xxxx each time for whatever reason. We were only intimate once, he couldn’t really get hard, he also farted loudly in the bathroom with the door open in view of me. We only met a handful of time, but we texted almost every day. He kept canceling dates and making excuses and I feel like he was wasting my time and I sent him a text saying so.
Mr C- almost 40 years older WM
Relationship lasted- 5/6 months ( maybe) (met over a year after meeting Mr P during one of our many breaks) ( we met about twice a month)
I have no clue why I even entertained this arrangement. We met on a vanilla dating app. Mid xxx ppm and I only agreed to this because he wasn’t able to have penetrative sex so we just did other stuff. He was a huge weirdo and I ended up feeling uncomfortable with myself plus the drive to his place was kind of far.
All except 1 of the SRs have since ended. I’ve been on probably 3 dozen dates and M&Gs outside of the men I’ve mentioned. Only 2 got to the stage of being intimate, but no arrangement really came from it. I am currently talking to 2 pots, but am realizing that I desire to be a SGF more than a SB.
It’s interesting that people think I’m lying. I wonder if I had posted this on my main account if the reactions would be the same…