u/TimeLog1940

I’ve been in the sugar lifestyle for quite a while but it has started to seriously affect my mental health so I’m taking a step back for now. Today, I ended things with my primary sugar partner who was very generous and provided a substantial monthly allowance. Over time, I struggled with discovering inconsistencies and lies surrounding his long-term affair partner who I found out about 3 weeks ago. Even though he spent more time with me and they don’t live together or have an intimate relationship, it became emotionally difficult for me to continue. He has been very consistent since day 1 in communication and many more things. He kept us together but my heart is aching.

Right now, I think it’s important for me to focus on myself, start therapy and figure out what I truly want. It’s been a fun journey here.

Here is the last post if anyone missed it. People talk about good things about sugaring but it does have cons too. Sugar breaks up can be harder or mostly are harder than the vanilla relationship when emotions are involved and you cross those boundaries.

https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/s/8do6sgcvRq

How much effort do you put into a sugar relationship when you genuinely care about someone but the relationship keeps becoming unstable because of secrecy, dishonesty or repeated lies? Even though they treat you well, are kind, take care of you and are consistent with allowance, do you stay and accept the red flags as part of the arrangement, or do you eventually move on? Even though they were given many chances to be truthful and honest and work on building the trust back again.

This feels deeper than a typical arrangement, lots of time invested into the relationship.

Have you ever been in a sugar relationship where you kept trying despite the conflicts and complications or did you decide to let it go because the emotional stress became too much to handle or you have found the ways to correct it ? One thing is certain life isn’t black or white. We all live in a grey area.

How many of you plan on giving some kind of severance package to your SBs if they were to leave - find a partner etc or you were to leave her for any circumstances? Asking to those who have been in a long term SRs

How many of you use this app for investing? I’m guessing a lot of SDs probably use it.

I have heard a lot about it but I am honestly too nervous to try it since I don’t really have anyone to guide me through it. I also heard bank investment accounts even on an aggressive portfolio doesn’t gain much of the investments

SBs - What are the activities do you do with your single SDs?

Single SDs - What are the activities do you do with your SBs?

SBs - what birthday gift did you give to your SD?

SDs - I know most of you don’t like celebrating your birthdays and don’t want any gifts. Besides a nice dinner and hot sex (of course) - what else would you like from your SB as a birthday gift?

I’ve got some free time right now so I figured I’d share this. There are a lot of 19 year olds dipping their toes into sugaring and then saying it’s bad because they don’t know what to do, didn’t get past step one or didn’t succeed. I started at 32. In my first month, I met a few men and made good money and connections. Then I had a consistent arrangement for a couple of months and by my second month, I met my current person. Since it’s non-exclusive, I still saw a few others here and there.

So why did it work for me? It’s not because of where I live - the area is actually pretty bad for this. A lot of men don’t have the means for PPMs, let alone allowances. I’ve met a few girls nearby (some from Reddit, a couple in person), and they’ve been struggling to find anyone for a long time.

Sugaring isn’t easy. Men tend to prefer women who are attractive, reliable, fun, appreciative, intelligent - your mindset matters - emotionally steady and not desperate. I had just lost my dream job when I started, but I didn’t approach it from a place of desperation. They also value punctuality, effort, affection, no drama, clarity about what you want and someone who isn’t playing games. Being kind, calm, patient and able to communicate well makes a big difference. Age and life experience matter more than people think.

At some point, it’s worth looking inward instead of blaming sugaring altogether when things aren’t working. Last but not least sugaring is an in person relationship. Ps better be good in bed!

If you’ve read my previous post, you’ll know my story. Anyway, I went on a meet-and-greet last night with a 73 year old for dinner at The Keg. He had already asked about my PPM/allowance beforehand. He’s on the bigger side (weight wise), so I was a bit nervous and just hoped I’d like him.

I dressed up in a silky sky-blue cut dress with silver heels. When we met, he was genuinely happy to see me. Before even starting a conversation, he placed an envelope on the table and said, “Let’s get this out of the way first.” After that, we spent about four hours talking - I laughed the entire time. He’s absolutely hilarious.

He also opened up about his health he recently started dialysis and has only one kidney. Coming from a medical background, I understood the situation without needing much detail. He’s on a transplant list and even joked about not having much time left, which was both sad and oddly lighthearted the way he said it.

When we left the restaurant, I noticed he was driving a red convertible Corvette with four exhausts. Since I had parked further away, he offered me a ride to my car and even apologized earlier for not just calling me an Uber which, honestly, no one has ever offered me before since I usually prefer driving myself. He asked what I drive, and when I said Mercedes, he laughed and said he would’ve guessed that.

He opened up very quickly, we shared a makeout moment and then went our separate ways. He said he wants to see me again. Jokingly, he asked what I want for Christmas. I told him it’s far away and he said he might need to start preparing now maybe even a new Mercedes.

I’m genuinely happy I met him. The envelope had xxxx, and we texted this morning he said he wants to be my friend as well and have me as part of his life. I even gave him a few suggestions regarding his kidney transplant.

At the same time, I already have a long-term sugar partner who is amazing, kind and consistent. I’m hoping I can build a good connection with new person.

And honestly, as we were leaving, all eyes were on us I’m a size 00, and he’s a bigger, charming man. You could tell people were thinking, “She’s definitely a sugar baby.” He also crossed the US Canada border to see me in Canada. He is from the States. Not to mention he gave me his address before meeting and also his business card during our dinner.

Funny part is - my previous SD is 71, current one is 72 and new person 73.

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Do you prefer your SB -

Ps - Please don’t give me shit if this poll isn’t right for you. I know people on this forum tend to drill others if none of the options apply to them.

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