
If You Wear Diapers . . .
. . . metaphorically speaking, are you back in diapers, or still in diapers? Because?
Me, I think of myself as still in diapers.
The reason I wear them is to address and defeat anxiety, relating back, I believe, to toilet training. What I believe is that I misunderstood tt as my mother distancing herself from me.
Through diapering myself, I’ve effectively turned the clock back. How authentic this feels, and how therapeutic it is, has lots to do with two things.
First, my diaper, thick and, especially, bulky, but still in the normal range. Physically, my diaper looks, feels and sounds (crinkle, crinkle) AMAZING, continuously distracting me, keeping me from thoughts that disturb my peace and calm.
Second, wearing in front of my wife, a very proper and vanilla woman, who, nevertheless, passively plays the role of Mommy.
Of course, she’s not ever going to need to toilet train me, so letting me wear diapers as long as I want is not in doubt. But we’re not asking why here, just what.