How to handle ache w/o a chastity cage
Over the last 9 months, my wife has gotten more and more dominant, and now is pretty regularly making sex about me getting on my knees, her taking off her pants and saying "please me". She usually doesn't acknowledge me during her build up and orgasms, and is dismissive (in a hot way) afterwards, not even looking at me and saying something like I can clean up when I'm ready.
Sometimes she tells me I can jack off if I want to (but I still need her permission to climax). More and more, she doesn't offer that, and when I've asked, she looks at me confused and asks "why?" And none of my answers have been compelling to her.
Overall, it is amazing and more than I thought we'd ever get to. However, I have mornings (like today) where I wake up unbearably horny, and the urge to get myself off is massively strong.
I wish I was in chastity to take away the temptation, but my wife feels like being my keyholder sounds like work and responsibility, not a benefit, so I am not caged.
How do other people deal with such a strong ache and not giving in, when not in a chastity cage?