u/Tucker802002

Just venting here. It's been one of those days. Argh!

Now that I'm 3 months into this journey I have some different things to reflect on.

Acceptance: I'm no longer wrestling with this, questioning whether it's real. I've stopped trying to masturbate and I've let go of the hope that this will wear off. I've also let go of any anger I had toward Mistress Calia and now I feel admiration for her. The way she articulates is wonderful

Hypnotized or not? It doesn't matter how you define it. I'm sure it's a combination of Mistress Calia's mantras and my own denial fantasies that keeps me in mental chastity. It sometimes feels a little crazy how carried away this has gotten

Blue balls pain: somehow this is less of an issue as when I started. The pain comes and goes rather quickly, which is one of the reasons I prefer mental chastity to physical chastity, which came with it a lot of pain related to circulation

Erections: they are the hardest and largest erections I've ever had and they happen often. Sometimes I get so achingly turned on and that whole area becomes super sensitive and tingly. It happens when I'm out and about, at the beach, or when I'm foolish enough to look at porn. It's soooo unbearably frustrating not being able to have any release anymore. And yet I truly feel like there's nothing I can do about it

Isn't forever a long time? Do I really expect it to be forever? I think of it more as indefinitely. I'm feeling positive, healthy, energetic, and lively. Why would I want that to end?

Will I cum someday? If there's anything I am worried about, it's this. I've had some close calls, not from edging, I don't do that anymore. But I've had moments of worry that a spontaneous ejaculation might happen. I also worry about a possible wet dream

Life will eventually interrupt this orgasm-free journey. I am married and my wife is both perimenopausal and pregnant (welcome to 2026!). At some point she may be ready for intimacy again and I'll be there for her. She's aware of my orgasm-free journey but it's certainly not the most important thing in our lives right now. While it would be delightful if she wanted me to continue in chastity, I'm not going to put that kind of pressure on her. I will ask when the time is right. I've listened to Mistress Calia's True Love's Curse and I love the idea that the only orgasm I could have can be with my wife. For now I'm in chastity indefinitely and it's my new normal. Ask me anything

This has been a fascinating exploration of chastity that I didn't know was possible before:

• Mistress Calia's "cage" suits me better than any physical cage I've tried. It actually prevents masturbation better than chastity devices and I'm not injured by chaffing and edema.
• Her voice is always in the background along with the back and forth waves of blue balls. She reminds me daily of my situation
• Chastity has taught me discipline that I'm applying to other parts of my life. I'm in better shape, I eat better, I'm performing better at work, and I feel healthier. These practical benefits provide extra motivation.
• I still watch porn sometimes, though not as much as I used to when I could masturbate. Blowjob clips and footjob clips especially drive me crazy. I wish I could stroke but Mistress Calia whispers "chastity slave" before I even I even get a chance to try. I stopped trying weeks ago. I miss it so badly
• Ultimately I know I belong here. When I used to masturbate I would almost always fantasize about not being allowed to. I'm extremely desperate and frustrated but that's what has always turned me on. Forever Locked keeps me here and I'm becoming grateful to Mistress Calia for making it
• Future directions? I'd like to explore tantra and other ways that I can channel this positive energy that results from semen retention. I understand so far that tantric practice is not exactly kinky but more of a spiritual exploration
• Is it really Forever? Who knows? Does anyone really understand this? I'm still a young man and forever is a long time. But as I've said, I have several motivations for maintaining my chastity. So maybe you have to really want it for it to work. Or, maybe it does work and now I'm just telling myself all this to explain why I haven't cum in 8 weeks

I had a pretty good denial streak going for myself, 20 days, when I stumbled upon erotic hypnosis. I think you know where this is going. Yes I listened to Mistress Calia's Forever Locked, a bunch of times. And now I just cannot bring myself to end this denial. It's been a few weeks since I've listened to Forever Locked but I "hear" her voice every day. Every time I get the least bit aroused I hear her voice reminding me of my, erm, situation. I don't know if this is hypnosis but the result is the same whatever you want to call it. I just can't masturbate anymore. As maddening as it is, my chastity is also something I cherish and protect. I go back and forth being cross with Mistress Calia and being thankful that she's given me a "cage" that "fits" and seems to be quite secure. She's right when she says this is what I wanted. I don't know how long this lasts but I have a feeling it's not going to end any time soon. I'm so horny, I'm so frustrated, and it's the beginning of the summer here in California. Argh!