I know how this sounds, but this is a real issue that affects my daily life way more than people think.
I’m 6'4 and work as a personal trainer. You’d think I’d be comfortable in my own body, but some of my proportions are a constant struggle.
I’m extremely well-endowed, not just "above average," and honestly it’s been more of a burden than anything. It’s big, thick, heavy, and hangs enough that it’s hard not to be aware of it all the time. Most people hear that and assume I’m bragging or that it must be some kind of blessing. It really isnt.
There’s always a bulge. Always. Doesn’t really matter what I wear. Jeans, shorts, sweats, looser pants, different underwear, sizing up, none of it fixes it. There’s still an outline against the fabric, still that moment where you catch someone glance down and then act like they didn’t. After a while that gets in your head.
The physical part is what nobody takes seriously. I’m on my feet all day and constantly aware of it. The weight, the pressure, having to adjust all the time. Running is genuinely rough because the weight bounces and slaps against my thigh with every stride, and it’s hard not to think about when it’s happening. Compression shorts help a bit, but then everything feels packed in too tight and sore, so it’s basically one kind of discomfort or another.
The worst is after a long day, when everything feels swollen and heavy. There’s this deep ache in my balls, painfully full and dragging downward, and it makes me aware of every little movement. Sounds stupid typing that out, idk, but it’s true. It gets to a point where I can’t really ignore it anymore and just feel stuck in my own body.
Dating has been its own issue. Sometimes people assume this would make me more confident, but honestly it’s done the opposite. I’ve had experiences where someone seemed interested until things got more intimate, and then they got visibly nervous or pulled back. That messes with you after a while. It made me really self-conscious when I was younger, and even now I still get anxious about how someone will react.
That’s why I don’t talk about it in real life. Nobody takes it seriously. They either laugh, act like I should be grateful, or assume I’m making it up. Meanwhile I’m planning clothes around it, adjusting constantly, and trying not to feel weird as hell in my own body.
Anyway. this was refreshing. If anyone actually gets it or just wanna talk, I'm here. I don't think I ever had an actual conversation about it.