I feel like he is just a father like figure I happen to be intimate with
I f21 have been with m40 for 3 years. In the beginning it was more relaxed in my opinion and lighthearted but as we got more serious he kind of seemed stricter.
For example, he doesn’t let me drink at all. I really don’t have friends because I don’t wanna be questioned or interrogated about things. I started working and everyday I work there’s an issue since I work at a restaurant and the manager and owner is a man (no one has ever come onto me also) he also has an issue with the way I dress (which is not provocative and I am just built a certain way)
I feel like I am constantly worried I’m gonna get in trouble or reprimanded and I honestly feel resentment because I wanna be able to explore myself and my own journey with alcohol and being a young girl in my 20s. When I was a little younger I guess it was more okay but I can feel myself no longer being attracted to him because of all of this resentment. I no longer really wanna have sex with him and I just go through the motions.
I would like to mention I was raised in a repressed household and I’m used to being controlled which has made me sneaky, except with my bf I can’t really be sneaky and I just feel so sad bc I experience nothing.
I honestly feel like I am wasting my life away in my early 20s. Does anyone have experience or advice on feeling this way?