Every once in a while I see married bottoms on the apps and their partners are also bottoms. Did one of them start off more vers and then decide “live his truth?”
Even if you’re open, all of the intimacy can’t be outside of the relationship. How does it work?
Before you all come at me in the comments, I’m sure plenty of guys are in true vers relationships, but I think in reality it’s pretty rare. Of the guys I personally know, I can’t think of any relationships offhand where the dynamic is literally 50/50.
Sometimes there’s no top, and the guys do more oral stuff with each other and bottom with casual partners.
Or, if both partners don’t like anal—again, they focus on oral or kinks and whatnot.
If both partners like anal, it seems like one usually takes the lead with topping. Of course it can change over time. But more often, it’s like one prefers topping but wants to bottom occasionally, and the other normally bottoms but also enjoys topping once in a while.
It could all just depend on how everyone’s feeling at any time, but usually it’s more one than the other.
My theory on much of the bottom shaming in the community is a lot of guys will get into a relationship with another vers guy who either ends up bottoming for them all the time (and the de facto top would like to bottom at least occasionally) or, while neither think of themselves as bottoms, both guys in the couple would like to bottom much more than they get to for whatever reason.
There must be a million different dynamics out there between couples. Still, I think true vers guys probably end up topping more in some relationships, and bottoming more in others. What do you guys think?