Yeah I'm a kinky slut, but love the acceptance, understanding and intimacy too. (This is a nuanced topic so read below)
So lmk if this goes against any rules and I don't mean any of it as a vent but wanted to mention some of my IRL experiences which includes appreciation for some of the dommes that are good friends of mine.
I've been in the scene on and off for about 8 years as a switch but hadn't always subbed unless I had a strong trust and connection, but I very much enjoy it. So I do speak from both sides of this that I love the reassurance and comforting approaches but, *your Dom/domme is not your therapist* in that they need to take on the burden of your thoughts and feelings at all times. However, it's natural to care and choose to be a comforting person as well. I myself am very open and always happy to listen and try to actively engage and have worked on those skills over the years, I'm pretty ND, and also how to moderate expressing myself because there is also something called "emotional consent" that you need to respect. So regardless of my role I will always try to be this person for others I care about but have learned better boundaries, but I'm also not good at accepting the support.
I'm honest about the things I deal with and go through and diagnoses to everyone I get involved with because I wanted them to have informed consent and it's also a life long thing where I still do therapy weekly and many other appointments to manage. A couple notable diagnoses that can affect my functionality are severe OCD and bipolar disorder and unfortunately substance use disorder from alcoholism that I'm medicated for. Though if I ever run into issues with these, I most often had a history of mainly shutting down and trying to isolate so that I don't affect those I care about, which is also something I've been learning to work on. And naturally, with the severity of things I have had times I've made and lost connections and that's just how it goes so I do my best to manage from what I learned. But a few have really been forgiving and understanding and comforting and looked out for me when they didn't have to, but just because they cared and I still appreciate them. And it's been a few years of crazy things but I've found a lot better treatments and help recovering so I really realized what they did for me and how they cared and have expressed that appreciation.
And that leads to my main point, I've had play partners and friends I've had strong mutual attraction to but were in complicated dynamics or such from a number of different people and women I've known. But for some reason, a lot of the dommes I was friends with have been the most accepting, forgiving and compassionate to me and I really appreciate it. I visited my home city for the first time in a while last weekend and hung out with a friend I was occasional play partners with and we switched a few times. She's been more into her domme side and actually has some classes she runs on fet and I went to a unique knotless ropework technique class she designed. I met a friend of hers that's newer to being a domme at a play party the next night, was unfortunately mainly swingers, and she was genuinely excited that I loved being tied up and was interactive and expressed appreciation but also a cool person who works in STEM as well so I made inside jokes about coding to, she was really nice. Another friend of mine I almost dated but it was never right and I was def not ready for relationships back then, but she's older and put up with my drunk, obnoxious ass so many times when I was younger that idk how she even likes to be around me anymore. But I remember her twink roommate, I explored being bi with, mentioning, "she seems to do better when you're around", and I took that to heart as well. And another friend who is a professional dominatrixes with her own dungeon but slid into my DMs in FetLife, she had some of her own issues with the community and her attitude and I understood, but I would always advocate and say, "if it means anything, if anyone has a reason to hate me it's her but she's been very kind to me."
That was a lot to say that as someone who has his complications, it is tiring and I do avoid putting the responsibility on others, but those who genuinely ask and care and are understanding and still choose to be my company are very special to me. It's nice when people decide to extend their care of their own volition and take time to be more understanding. I enjoy their company and value them as people and that I can unmask with. If anything in the past, I was hesitant to bottom and they wanted my ass that way lol. But I've probably had the most laughs with them as well and my friend who did the ropes class, we mutually check in on each other periodically, but she is also hysterical and did stand up and had me dying laughing from describing an experience with food poisoning lmao.
*Tldr:* def remember that dommes are people too and to respect emotional consent but I've noticed a trend of many that I've known being more accepting and compassionate to me than other people. Legit appreciation and gratitude