My solo journey and new system for denial
Hi everyone!
So I have been into denial for a while and I have been in a out of it for a while, but never for very long and followed by longer periods of just doing whatever I wanted. The longest I have denied myself was 16 days in January, and since then I haven't done anything else in terms of denial. Every since I started T like three years ago I just get aroused very easily and maybe masturbate and cum at least once but mostly twice or even three times a day. I've found it difficult to engage in denial because there's no one supervising and all that, but I think I've got a pretty good system right now and would like ideas to improve it and make it interesting.
So almost two weeks ago I started denial again. I'm studying long term for a very important exam and I just get too unfocused and want to touch basically all the time and find my hands wandering while studying, watching TV etc. so I'm never doing just one thing at a time. I wanted to be more focused in all I do and touch myself intentionally.
I initially only though about lasting until the first days of June because there's a weekend where I have the house all to myself. So that would be 33 days total (I know, pretty ambitious since my max is 16). As I found my hands wandering in spite of not being allowed to cum, I decided to restraint all touch. But I thought that would not get me interested in the long term, so know I have weekly modes.
This week, for instance, I am allowed to touch (no release, of course), if I achieve two consecutive green days (so if I comply fully, I would touch myself 3 times: Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday). Green days are achieved when I complete my study objectives for the day, correct any wandering hands/autopilot behaviour, and not use my phone while in study blocks of 45 minutes. Another week mode could be no touch at all those 7 days, another could be only touch once on Sunday if all week was productive, another could be allowed touching after 3 green days... Ideally, I would somewhat change the rules each week and add modifiers to make it interesting. For instance, mandatory meditation time to improve discipline or set phone to grayscale.
To avoid obsessing about day 33, I decided to toss a coin then. If it's heads, I get to cum. Otherwise, I must wait to day 34 and toss the coin again (only if I completed daily objectives), and so on until the daily coin toss is tails. And then I would start the cycle again (same 33day cycle? idk), with cumming only once and treating it not as a reward but as an event within the whole structure. I guess the point is becoming restrained in spite of arousal and more intentional in how I touch myself. All decision making is already decided, and rules for each week are set on Sunday. So I don't have to think for myself, I don't have to renegotiate with myself when I'm horny, all I have to do is follow the system for each day.
So I would like to ask about advice? Or about new rules/consequences/penalties/modifiers to add to the system on Sundays for each week. I just don't want it to get boring or predictable, because that would make it not interesting for me and I really want to be good. Anything is welcome.
On another note, I am somewhat attracted to anal. I've never really done anything about it, but I'm thinking about integrating it into the system, I just don't know how. For now, I am allowing myself to do it in the shower (1.because I feel cleaner 2.because the time I can engage is limited as water runs cold so I don't risk it escalating). I've done it twice now: I may touch my clit and pussy only briefly and lightly to get into the mood (doesn't take too long to get me fired up anyways), and then I start with my ass. So far, I've been able to get one finger fully and smoothly in. I would like to continue with this so that on day 33 (if coin toss allows) I can also play with my ass when I cum.
Anyways, I would appreciate to have opinions on this system, and any advice, addition, rule, penalty or whatever it may be to improve it and make it fun and interesting. Please ask if anything was unclear! Thanks!