On the Perception of this as a Curse
Sometimes I'll see posts from people lamenting having this fetish, or people wondering how to find someone with a similar disposition. Then, someone else will respond with more or less the right answer.
Just find a partner, and spend time with them. If you like it, and they like you, they might start to enjoy indulging you. Or maybe they just go through life flattered that their partner likes something about them that no one reasonably should. Or maybe they enjoy how they can be close with you in a unique and visceral way. You are just two people in a room.
I don't think I ever considered this growing up. Like, as a practical option. I'm pretty sure I just decided, I'll just never tell anyone I'm in a relationship with, or I'll be alone for the rest of my life (alone is okay too), but my brain is wired like this. Either from the first video, or maybe I was predisposed before I clicked on it.
It's really hard to see that it isn't a curse from the inside. It does have the hallmarks. A sexual fetish tied to a passive bodily process. It's clumsy; it can be tricky to coordinate. It just happens when it happens, though there are some pushable buttons... though results may vary. Still, if you have someone willing to try for you, cherish them. Lucky is a good feeling.
It's also something that kind of has nothing to do with who I am outwardly. There's just a thing that you can't help but enjoy, that no one knows about, that doesn't have anything to do with anything, but is.